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Whuang

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Reply with quote  #1 
I still blame myself after he’s been gone for a year now and need advice on how to forgive my fiancé whom I am still with. I took my chorkie out for a morning walk as usual before I head to work. I still remember telling him I love him and he’s a good boy before I left to work. My fiancé was off that day. He called me if I could have lunch with him and I said yes. He said he have to take the trash out first and bring the dog out for a walk before meeting me up. I said ok. To remind you, we live in a condominium and the trash area is about 5 minutes away from our building. My fiancé called me right after 5-10 minutes off our phone and I had an instant worry feeling hearing my phone ringing. He said our dog got attacked and was not moving. I told him to rush our dog to emergency ASAP. Long story short, my dog didn’t make it after getting to the hospital for 15 minutes. My whole body was shaking as I drove to the vet. This happened because my fiancé tied our dog to a fence on the side of the building exits so he could move the trash to his car and then drive to the dumpster. During the process, another neighbors big dog came out of that exit and attacked my chorkie who is less than 4.5lbs so he was a very tiny toy dog. I told my fiancé many times not to tie the dog to anything if you are taking trash out too because anything could happen within a blink of an eye. His carelessness cause my fur babies life. I mention my dog because he was my dog. After we moved in for 2 years, I started to say our dog since we live together. I haven’t fully forgive my fiancé and have fears this will repeat itself in the future if we have future kids. What should I do? I need advice.

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Sil

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Reply with quote  #2 
Whuang,

First let me say, that I am vey sorry for your loss of your sweet fur baby.  As you stated, "his carelessness caused my fur baby's life..".  It is sad but accidents could happen to anyone, under any circumstances at any given time. 

But, Have you had this "talk" and expressed your worries for the future?  You could seek couple's counseling?

Please, this is only my opinion   ---     "Love is based on Trust".
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #3 
I’m so very sorry this happened to your poor baby!
The only way I could respond to this is by being completely honest with you. I would be made as hell. You had previously told him not to do it because you knew anything could happen to a defenseless animal unsupervised and tied up. This was not an accident this was negligence.
You obviously love your fiancé so I would definitely seek some couples counseling as Sil asked about. You need a safe environment to let him know how this has affected you and your concerns for the future.
Honestly I don’t think this determines what kind of father he will make. Some people just don’t see a pet the same way as others do. Terrific fathers don’t have to be terrific pet owners as well. I think it helps people as a whole but not everyone was brought up that way. I hope your children have the joy of a pet in their lives and I hope you are able to find a way to be at peace with your future, big hugs,,,,,

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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Callain1

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Reply with quote  #4 
Your story is absolutely devastating. I'm so sorry you got that phone call everyone dreads. I understand blaming your fiancee. I would too. But what about his feelings? He must be beating himself up over this. What a terrible guilt he must carry around. I would ask God to help you forgive him. I dont think this incident is a reflection of how his parenting skills would be. If you are unable to forgive him, you will be grieving the loss of two loved ones. I try to remeber my loved ones (including my fur babies) are in heaven waiting for me, until its my time to join them. I am so sorry for your loss & pray for your healthing
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Whuang

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Reply with quote  #5 
Thank you for the kind words and advices Sil, Tankie12 and Callain1. Trust is definitely an issue between us. Two days ago, I was eating dinner at his brothers house and his brother have a pit bull. That pit bull attacked me before and bruised my thigh but two nights go, I got attacked brutally by the same dog. I was rushed into er and am still bleeding. My fiancé knew the pit bull was roaming around and did not say a thing to put the dog in his crate. Everything happened so fast and now I can’t get the incident off my brain. I can feel what my fur baby went through. His brother did not want us to put down his pit bull which makes it harder for me. I’m not sure what I should do at this point as I am so hurt in every part of my body.
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Sil

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Reply with quote  #6 
Whuang,

I am sorry for what happened.... but, I am without words....being attacked a second time by the same pit bull - unacceptable..  As pet owners, we need to be responsible not just for their well being, but also to prevent our dogs to either be attacked or for them to attack either other animals or humans.  Having this dog attacked you once,
Why did the owner let this dog loose? - So, so irresponsible. 

This is just my opinion: Many times is not the dog's fault but the irresponsible owner's fault.

What happened to you is beyond the physical trauma.  Now, you are "imagining" what your sweet poor fur baby suffered.  I am sorry.  Hoping for your prompt recovery.
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #7 
Wendy! Oh my God I am shocked and so so sorry this happened to you! You poor baby! I can only hope since you posted this you are going to be ok.
It’s pretty obvious responsible dog ownership is Not something that was ever practiced in this family. There are dogs who just can’t be trusted, I know, I have one and I bottle fed her from birth. It’s just something in them, my dogs sister Tankie (who died) was a polar opposite.
Than you have an instinct that’s been breed into a pit and it can spell disaster.
But that’s not what matters right now. You have the right to feel protected around of all people your loved ones.
Wendy I completely understand how your heart is hurting at the thought of what your baby may have experienced. The visions going through your mind, I’m so sorry😔
But please read and understand this- I have been bit many times, I was a Vet Tech. I know how quickly it happens and I know while it’s happening shock and fear are the immediate responses your body feels. It’s so shocking and fast you know you’re being bit but the pain isn’t your first physical response. Think back to both times this happened. The body’s first response is to protect itself. The pain kicks in afterwards because at the time shock takes over. Animals I’ve seen come in from dog fights or other trauma like car accidents are surprisingly not reactive to what they’ve endured. Some are even freaking wagging their tails. Some Are crying but again, it seems to be out of fear, shock. I honestly believe *shock* is Gods way of sparing us initial pain in order to fight to survive.
I’m telling you all of this because as horrible as it was, no matter the cries, *shock* overrides everything. I don’t believe your baby suffered the way your mind is thinking. It happened fast Wendy. Big long warm hugs,,,,,


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Whuang

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Reply with quote  #8 
Hi Sil, the owner will not turn his aggressive, untrained pitbull to animal control and also threaten me if I call animal control on his dog, he stated I better get restraining order for my life. Never had I thought there are such people out there in this world. My fiancé and I distance ourselves from going to his family dinner/gatherings because of his psychotic brother. Im not sure how everything will be for our future. My scar has finally closed up but the redness is still there and the size of it didn’t decrease much. Thank you for your kind concerns.

Hi Tankie12,
Thank you for explaining the process after a dog attack. It really gave me a peace of mind knowing my furbaby wasn’t in too much pain before he passed away at the vet. Thank you for taking your time out for your warm post.
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