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Whuang

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Posts: 2
Reply with quote  #1 
I still blame myself after he’s been gone for a year now and need advice on how to forgive my fiancé whom I am still with. I took my chorkie out for a morning walk as usual before I head to work. I still remember telling him I love him and he’s a good boy before I left to work. My fiancé was off that day. He called me if I could have lunch with him and I said yes. He said he have to take the trash out first and bring the dog out for a walk before meeting me up. I said ok. To remind you, we live in a condominium and the trash area is about 5 minutes away from our building. My fiancé called me right after 5-10 minutes off our phone and I had an instant worry feeling hearing my phone ringing. He said our dog got attacked and was not moving. I told him to rush our dog to emergency ASAP. Long story short, my dog didn’t make it after getting to the hospital for 15 minutes. My whole body was shaking as I drove to the vet. This happened because my fiancé tied our dog to a fence on the side of the building exits so he could move the trash to his car and then drive to the dumpster. During the process, another neighbors big dog came out of that exit and attacked my chorkie who is less than 4.5lbs so he was a very tiny toy dog. I told my fiancé many times not to tie the dog to anything if you are taking trash out too because anything could happen within a blink of an eye. His carelessness cause my fur babies life. I mention my dog because he was my dog. After we moved in for 2 years, I started to say our dog since we live together. I haven’t fully forgive my fiancé and have fears this will repeat itself in the future if we have future kids. What should I do? I need advice.

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Sil

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Posts: 493
Reply with quote  #2 
Whuang,

First let me say, that I am vey sorry for your loss of your sweet fur baby.  As you stated, "his carelessness caused my fur baby's life..".  It is sad but accidents could happen to anyone, under any circumstances at any given time. 

But, Have you had this "talk" and expressed your worries for the future?  You could seek couple's counseling?

Please, this is only my opinion   ---     "Love is based on Trust".
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Tankie12

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Posts: 979
Reply with quote  #3 
I’m so very sorry this happened to your poor baby!
The only way I could respond to this is by being completely honest with you. I would be made as hell. You had previously told him not to do it because you knew anything could happen to a defenseless animal unsupervised and tied up. This was not an accident this was negligence.
You obviously love your fiancé so I would definitely seek some couples counseling as Sil asked about. You need a safe environment to let him know how this has affected you and your concerns for the future.
Honestly I don’t think this determines what kind of father he will make. Some people just don’t see a pet the same way as others do. Terrific fathers don’t have to be terrific pet owners as well. I think it helps people as a whole but not everyone was brought up that way. I hope your children have the joy of a pet in their lives and I hope you are able to find a way to be at peace with your future, big hugs,,,,,

__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Callain1

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Posts: 4
Reply with quote  #4 
Your story is absolutely devastating. I'm so sorry you got that phone call everyone dreads. I understand blaming your fiancee. I would too. But what about his feelings? He must be beating himself up over this. What a terrible guilt he must carry around. I would ask God to help you forgive him. I dont think this incident is a reflection of how his parenting skills would be. If you are unable to forgive him, you will be grieving the loss of two loved ones. I try to remeber my loved ones (including my fur babies) are in heaven waiting for me, until its my time to join them. I am so sorry for your loss & pray for your healthing
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