misstmagoo
This past Tuesday I had to make what felt like the most impossible decision of my life and put my Charles to sleep. He was my 11 year old beautiful beagle boy and he had lived a life full of adventures...I thought I had more time (as I am sure we all assume) so I wasn’t prepared when his body all of a sudden started failing him.

Every time I close my eyes I replay that night over and over in my head ... his look of desperation/fear and my inability to make it better. 2 hours after the symptoms presented themselves he was gone ... I had consented to let him go peacefully. I have guilt about not trying harder to save him or at least seek out the information that could of told me what happened but I felt by doing that I was keeping him alive selfishly since he was in so much pain. I feel sick about not doing enough or not noticing something sooner that could have prolonged his life.

I am lost and totally broken without my boy and I can’t stop thinking about what I could have done differently. This dog was there in the worst moments of my life and he was my rock and now I am having to face this blackhole without him and I am truly struggling with how to cope.

It doesn’t feel real; I still look for him when I come home and I am met with deafening silence ... I am so lost right now.
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missinmylady13
Misty I'm so sorry for your loss. The pain is unbearable at times but it's good that you came here to talk about your grief. Everyone here can relate to what you are feeling so you are not alone. I also had a Beagle and her name was Lady and we lost her to cancer almost 6 months ago. I still sob like  baby ( I thought men weren't supposed to cry but that theory went out the window). Charles looks like a handsome guy! Love that outdoor picture of him. Hope things get better for you. You are in my thought s and prayers today.
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jimmy17
I am so very sorry for your loss of Charles - your photo`s of him are beautiful, and he is such a handsome boy.   Losing them so quickly is very hard, and I understand totally about replaying that night over and over - I think it`s something we all do, however we lose them.  Guilt always seems to play a big part too, even when we know we are doing the only possible thing to take away their pain and suffering.  It will be 3 years in December since we had to make the same decision to let our little dog go, and I felt so guilty for a long time afterwards, even though deep down I knew we were doing kindest thing, and it was done out of the love we had for him...        

 Someone here told me that losing our dogs is like the home losing its heartbeat, and it`s so true - it takes a long time coming to terms with losing them, and to be totally honest it is more like learning to live without them. Finding this wonderful forum was the best thing for me, and hopefully it will help you too. Even knowing that the way you feel is normal helps a little...   Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.

                                                                                                Jackie 
J Taylor
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Jiller
Misty,
I’m so sorry for your loss. I had to make this difficult decision myself on Friday to put down my sweet Jager. He was 14.5 and struggling with pain, weakness, and confusion. It broke my heart to see him struggle and he had lost so much of himself I couldn’t let him get worse. I feel so guilty, like I didn’t do enough. He could still be with me today if we hadn’t made that choice but at what cost to him? I’ve been crying so much my eyes are swollen. I’m devastated and heart broken. I too just keep playing those last moments through my head over and over and picture him laying there, lifeless. Having to leave him there all alone. It about killed me. I know he’s at peace, he’s pain free, but to never be able to see him and touch him and kiss him again is just too much to take process right now. I hope it gets easier. I hope being able to talk about it makes it easier. We are all in this together one way or another
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nosunshine36
I'm so sorry for your loss. Charles was a very handsome boy.
I know how lost you feel. I think we all feel that we should have been able to make it better but unfortunately sometimes we just can't.
It's a dreadful time for you right now. This is a good place to connect with people who understand your loss and pain. I think it will help you having a place to let out all those feelings of loss and emptiness.
My deepest sympathy and blessings,
Sharon
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