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Hollystar1409

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Reply with quote  #1 
Hi.
So my cat named Luna passed away June 1st 2019 and it has been a little over a week. She was 8 years old and she passed away due to kidney failure. I'm having a super hard time with it because she died super quickly. Like tge night before I was in the ER because I had ripped my toe nail off and she slept in my lap to keep me company. I noticed that she wasn't doing too good and I took her to a 24 hour animal hospital where she passed 30 minutes later.... All I have done is replaying her final moments in my head because it doesn't feel real. None of this has felt real since she died.
I was there when Luna was born. She was one of the kittens that my grandma had and for my 17th birthday my grandma said pick one you can take one home I talked to your mom about it. So I sat on the floor and I tried to get the kittens to play with me but Luna came and sat right in my lap and I knee then that she picked me. My mom and dad had also separated and we didnt have much money so Luna was my support. When I cried she would lay on either my chest or my feet. She loved my feet for some odd reason. And I eventually got her shots and her spayed. She was a happy kitty. I ended up getting another kitten 2years after getting Luna and I names him Puddin. And they got along somewhat lol. The fought over my attention but I showed them both tons of love always. But I regret not catching her health problem sooner. And I hate myself for not doing more to see that she wasn't feeling well. I work a lot so when I am home I tried to spend a lot of time with my babies but I had noticed that Luna wanted to hide and I would hunt for her and find her and she would meow at me. I thought that was normal because she had done that before ans she was fine. Plus a stray cat had kittens under my house so I thought that her hiding was her way of coping with the sound of kittens (she had kittens once before).
But the vet was really nice to me when Luna passed. I didn't have much money and they held to her for me until the next day I got paid to have her cremated. It has been a struggle. I can't look at her pictures, I see some of her stray hairs from when she was shedding and I burst into tears. I have to shut down to go into my bathroom because she loved to sleep in the sink so I have to close my eyes when I go in there. It doesn't feel real. I keep telling myself that she isn't here anymore but I still feel her around me. I'll look on the floor and mistake my shoes for her and I end up in tears. This is so unbearable. And my sister has a sick kitten that she has asked me to take in and keep. I have him now and he looks so much like Luna that its almost too painful to look at him but I took him in because I don't want him to suffer. And I am really unsure if I can keep him and still feel all this pain. What do I do?
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #2 


I am so so sorry for your loss. I had to put my cat Marmalade down around 4 weeks ago, and to me it also feels totally "Unreal."

This morning I thought I heard a meow and bolted upwards out of a sleep. I can still imagine the site of him where he no longer exists. My heart is completely devastated as I had surrendered my heart fully to this sweet, kind, loving, loyal, noble and enchanting little creature when I came to first know him 4.2 years ago.

He was my best friend. My son. My brother. My comrade in arms. My light. My love. My only family (that I trusted or cared about.) My World. Nothing we faced together, all the heartache, betrayal, abandonment, destitution, homelessness, or the chronic health problems we both shared mattered, as long as we had each other, for the short years we were together. In the end I felt I had to put him down at the Vets.

I had taken him to 5 Vets over the years. 4 in his last year. 3 in his last 3 months. All misdiagnosed him. 

I should have done more for him. I let him down. I was so exhausted in the end and felt so, so bad for him that he was in pain & suffering each day (he couldn't eat or drink) that I panicked and made that final, fatal choice. They say that "by ending their suffering, we absorb their suffering onto ourselves." I hope this is the case. No matter what I must continue to endure. Even if it kills me.

I supposed all we can do is continue to "Travel through time" and try to heal. But I am an empty husk now. A lonely, brokenhearted, sorrow-filled vessel.

I miss my friend.





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Hollystar1409

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Reply with quote  #3 
I'm sorry about your fur baby. This loss has become unbearable and I am praying that this pain starts letting up soon. I miss my friend as well.
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Eriksfurrbabies

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Reply with quote  #4 
Hello Hollystar and Memories,

I am sorry for your loss, we are all here for you. You will not be alone.

I had to put to sleep my little Nani Friday the 7th, kidney failure and cancer. She was 10 and I should have gone to the vet much sooner but didn't have the money. Her brother and me miss her terribly.

I have been going through the 'what if' so much this last week, but I know that is not going to help because I learned one thing: cats are masters at hiding their pain. It is their nature. Looking back now I can see so many things I missed. That is not my fault I know now, Nani was just too good at hiding it. I am angry with myself and I learned a lot now. Her brother Nikki will benefit from that.

We are human and don't see everything. We are human and love them unconditionally. I found that for me putting her picture as background on my phone, tablet and PC is helping me. Each time I force myself to look a little bit longer, each time I try to remember a happy thought but I do not fight the tears.

I live alone, have no friends in real life to talk to, but these forums and others have helped me a lot.

Tell the story of your fur babies, write as much about them as you like, we are here to help and will never judge.


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Erik, Nani and Nikki
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Hollystar1409

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Reply with quote  #5 
Thank you Eriksfurrbabies. I'm sorry about your loss. Cats are great furbabies to have. And today I had one of my friends to tell me that I should stop crying because its "just a cat" I got very upset. Luna was more that just my cat, she was my best friend. And she is a true sweet heart. I wish people would understand that the loss of a pet is more than what it seems. Its very rough physically and mentally.
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #6 


Thank you Eriksfurrbabies for your kind words.

Hollystar1409, I feel the same way. One of my acquaintances who supposedly likes cats (he has one) kept smiling and laughing when I mentioned my cats symptoms to him. I was really taken aback by it. People just have no idea if they have never truly bonded with one. It is almost a psychic connection. 

This afternoon I went to a Cat Cafe. They had 15 cats available for adoption. I just went to visit and pet them. There was ZERO feeling of connection. I had paid for 1 hour $18 but left after about 15 minutes. They were all adorable and most were very friendly. But again..no connection. It was odd and sad. That's not to say that for others it might not be soothing and reassuring and they shouldn't be up for an adoption, but my heart went with Marmalade when he passed.


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Shelby55

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Reply with quote  #7 
It takes time to build the strong bonds we had with our cats. It will take long to get over the loss. I have pictures everywhere. I even still talk to her daily. Sweetest cat that ever lived. Miss her so much :-( terrible pain.
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #8 
Hi Shelby,

I am sorry for your loss. I agree. It does take time to bond. But I know I will never have that type of connection that I had with My Lad Marmalade. He was one in a billion. He was my spirit animal. Fate crossed our path. I had to travel over 850 miles to meet him in the high desert of New Mexico. He stole my heart. And took it with him when he departed this World. 
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Shelby55

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Reply with quote  #9 
I think you’re probably right. I guess we only get one special friend in our lifetime. I really do know that no other cat can come close. What a horrible feeling to lose that kind of friend. Emptiness!
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Memories_of_Marmalade

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Reply with quote  #10 

Thanks Shelby.

It's interesting. I'm 57. I opted to not have another animal after my girl and I had to put her cat down Dusty in 2000. She was 18 years old and an amazing cat. One friend upon meeting her said that "she should have her own TV show." We adored her so. But we were both so pained from the experience that we never had another pet after. And this was 20 years ago!

I met my cat Marmalade (an orange & white Tabby) by sheer coincidence in New Mexico. Where he had been a stray / feral, before I had adopted him. Fate brought us together. The stars brought us together. God crossed our paths. But I am never going to have another pet in my lifetime. He was my World. We were brought together for many reasons, he and I. We saved each others lives many times. Literally. His kind will not come my way again. And I am okay with that.

Dusty Cat was a very hard act to follow, but Marmalade filled her place in my heart and ended up the love and light of my life. : ** I


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Rosanne777

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Posts: 147
Reply with quote  #11 
Two years ago I had to put my beautiful 
Cat Maya to sleep because her kidneys
just gave out.

So,to recover from my loss I adopted
a Kitten whom I named Marlie.

Well,Marlie is about a year and 
a half now and she has proven
to being a handful.

Yet,handful or not the love
that Marlie shows to me has
healed my pain from losing
Maya.





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