We had to get our cat, molasses put down earlier this month as she was very old and her health had begun to deteriorate rapidly. It was a huge loss for the whole family, but perhaps especially for me as I adore cats and have had her since I was 3. I cried and cried for days, and now I cry pretty much ever night before I sleep. I know she had a great, long life, but somehow that doesn't make the pain go away. Trying to grasp the idea that I will never ever see her again is so hard to bear. I feel so guilty for how upset I am, as none of my university friends are 'cat people' I suppose. But to me, it is like a member of my family has gone and we were a team, and now I am left alone in the world without her. 

I also feel guilty because I couldn't go into the vet with her on the day she died. My mum held her in her arms as she went to sleep, and I sat outside in the car crying. I know that she doesn't really understand these things but I wish I had been brave enough and spend her last moments with her. 

I guess many people feel the same way as me when their pet dies, but the pain and loss and guilt I feel is sometimes unbearable. I feel so guilty even when I look at other cats now. Words cannot express how much I miss her. I would do anything to get her back.
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Everything you just said in your post applies to how I feel. I put my cat Sheba to sleep 1 week ago yesterday. At least you had a reason to put your cat to sleep. You see, my cat had a behavior issue. She would pee in a certain corner I don't know how many times. The smell was just too strong and nobody could take it anymore. It was the first smell you smelled when you walked in, it was horrible. I refused to put my furbaby up for adoption. I KNEW she would pee anywhere she went. What if someone abused her after she peed on the carpet? What if they let her loose and she got hit in traffic? I couldn't deal with the pain of always wondering how shes getting treated. Thus, I put my poor innocent baby to sleep.

The guilt I feel is like no other feeling. It really is unbearable. She was so innocent, minding her own business, and I chose to put her to sleep for it. I'm trying to find piece in my decision because I didn't want her mistreated.

I cried nonstop for days after. And especially after I picked up her ashes. Now she sits in a little box in my bedroom. I don't cry during the day anymore, just at night before I go to bed, and that's when I replay everything in my head. & I stare at that box and can't believe what's left of my baby is in there.

I, too, could not go to the vet to put her to sleep. I made my boyfriend do it because there was no way I could bear to see that happen. Thus, I feel MORE guilty.

Sorry for the rambling, but my prayers are with you sweetie.

~Sheba's Mommy~
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I am so very sorry for your loss.
Know we are all here for you x
Love Julie x
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I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet cat.
Your friends at University just do not understand and
are greatly interested in other things.
We all understand here.
Guilt is a normal part of the beginning stages of grief
and grieving. If you read the beginning of any one
of our threads you will see yourself. None of us could
breathe let alone live without our babies -
so we are here to help you and each other.
It is like you lost a sister since you were only 3 when
she came into your life you probably don't even remember much before
she was there. Come back and tell us about your life with your kitty
so we can get to know her through you.
You are in my thoughts.
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