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GayleMG
That's a beautiful urn! So sweet of your friends to buy it!
I'm waiting on the ashes of my little kitty, Josie. She also suddenly developed fluid in the chest cavity after have a heart murmur her whole life. She seemed OK at the beginning of the week, but was suffering by Friday and had to be euthanized. It all happened so quickly, I can't get over it.
Somehow, waiting for the ashes makes me anxious. I want to have them with me, but it takes time. It hasn't even been a whole week, so I guess I still have some time to wait.
Beloved One, you were ill, but you were not alone. I was with you. The beloved dead awaited you. You moved from love into love, carrying with you only love. I sent my love to travel with you and open up the way.
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lettersatlarge
I was able to pick up his ashes this weekend. It was hard on me because feeling the weight of it all...Another week or so for the urn to arrive so he can rest in somewhere more fitting. I feel more at peace having him back home though. I miss my little guy so much. My facebook memories for each day usually have a photo of him in there. I'm still sad but I smile now looking at his little blissful face. He was so loved.
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Rudysmom
My heart goes out to all the fur moms and dads on here. So many of your stories sound so very familiar. Lost my baby (doxie) april 24th and her brother Rudy (rat terrier) dec 11 last year. They are survived by their older sister Brandy (spaniel mix) & our two cats, & their human baby sister ( our 3 yr old daughter). I am still devastated as all of our family is.....but I know and truly believe better days are ahead for all of us on here.

Just know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers🐶🐱🐇🐢🐤
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lettersatlarge
Its been 4 weeks since you've left us, Dante. I miss you more than ever right now. I keep looking at pictures of you because I feel like I can't see you properly in my mind. I wish I could stroke your smooth little forehead and give you a kiss on the nose. I miss being home with you on my tummy while I relax. The cat stares into the house from the outside all day, probably expecting you to run out to play. I'm so sorry you had to go the way you did. I wish it had been more peaceful for you.
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teenyweenybb
Guess 5 years can also have a lot of memories. I didn't let myself cry at first. So now I just silently wail (cry alot) now and then, but quite regularly. Sleeping with her ashes seems to help alot somehow. Read someone else's post about sleeping with the ashes. Your picture of Dante is so cute. My baby was a small Terrier, 19 pounds. Poor baby lost 4 pounds from not eating the last week or so. Now she doesn't have to worry about eating, poo pooing, pee peeing and now even breathing worries for Dante. He is free now. :-)
our love baby
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lettersatlarge
Dante's urn finally arrived. I haven't opened the box, yet. I have errands to run before I get home. I know I need to put him to rest in this lovely container, and he deserves a proper memorial in our home, but there's a finality to it, one month since he passed. I feel like my heart is breaking all over again. I'm feeling the guilt I felt all over again. Why didn't I give him one last bath? I should have taken him on more outings, more days at the beach. He was a little old pup and the people before him mistreated him so badly. I'm so angry at them right now for having been so abusive to him, for feeding him garbage, for leaving him out in the cold. Maybe he would've lived a little longer, his heart would've been a little stronger. I could have had more days to properly spoil him in his golden years. He was sweet to everyone and never ever once snapped at people. He left, in pain, unable to breathe, confused. I'm so sorry, Dante. I love you and miss you so much.
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jpasut
I am so sorry for your loss, 7 years ago I lost my pal Toby and I was so devastated over it that even the arrival of my newest grandson on the same day didn't lighten the load.  Losing Toby was so hard on me that I wrote an electronic book For the Love of My Dog in his honor.  I wanted to share my life surrounded by pets with my grandkids, but writing it really helped my grieving process.  Well on May 31, 2017 just 3 days ago Sparky my soulmate of 14+ years succumbed to congestive heart failure just like your Dante only he passed in my arms just as I'm sure he would have wanted to. The night before he passed he was lying next to me on the couch and was trying to be playful as to say "Dad this is how I want you to remember me".  You would think that after all the pets I've had it would get easier, but in my world this was one of the hardest. Just this morning I was in the backyard and I could have swore I heard his barking coming from the house, it was brief, but I had these chills come over me and after thinking I had no more left in me my eyes exploded in a river of tears, so I well know what you are going through and know only time will ease the emptiness but knowing their unconditional love will never leave you.  The healing process is so painful, in my world first comes the overwhelming grief followed by guilt of what I could have done to prevent this and then I start replacing the guilt with the wonderful memories.  In my heart I know that my Sparky could have never found a better dad because he was in my arms constantly, if I was on the couch he was laying upside down at my side, if I were outside he followed me or asked to be in my arms.  He and I were so bonded that if I were out of his sight he would bark like the seal in a harbor and he was only a 5 pound Yorkie. Hope you are making strides in your healing, finding your post and Dante passing from the same condition as my Sparky plus writing this really is helping me.  I guess I will have to upload a new chapter to amazon now.  Blessings to you and your path to recovery, trust me, from reading what you wrote, Dante has no regrets having you as his parent...you were a blessing to him.
Jack
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lettersatlarge
Four years ago today, I brought you back from your first emergency vet visit for dehydration due to gastritis/stomach bug. I was panicked and you were listless but when we came back after giving you some fluids to feel better, you wanted to be by my side and would whine when I wasn't there. I'd had you for almost a year in my care and this was when I realized we had truly bonded in that time.
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lettersatlarge

I was cleaning my room last night and found Dante's 'discharge' notes from the ER when I last saw him. I went through all the notes. It broke my heart.

 

His body was healthy, his eyes were still good, his teeth were a little bad but he was old and Chihuahuas have bad teeth anyway, everything about him was fine except for his little enlarged heart. If it wasn't for his heart, he would've been with me longer. Even the day before his heart failed him, he was running in circles, loving his food, barking at birds outside. I thought he was getting better. I feel like this universe took him much too soon.

Then I thought I heard his collar and jumped, but it was just our cat, and I started crying. I'm crying now.

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Chinadoll
My little chihuahua passed away in January. Your posts about Dante reminds me of my little girl. She was playing and having fun as normal one day then her heart failed the next and she was gone. Her heart enlarged so fast I was shocked, just a few months prior the vet said it was 'slightly' enlarged and put her on blood pressure meds. But the day I took her in because I noticed her breathing had become labored, the X-rays showed a very enlarged heart and fluid in her lungs. She was gone within 3 hours. I couldn't believe how quickly this happened. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Charlie
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lettersatlarge

Chinadoll wrote:
My little chihuahua passed away in January. Your posts about Dante reminds me of my little girl. She was playing and having fun as normal one day then her heart failed the next and she was gone. Her heart enlarged so fast I was shocked, just a few months prior the vet said it was 'slightly' enlarged and put her on blood pressure meds. But the day I took her in because I noticed her breathing had become labored, the X-rays showed a very enlarged heart and fluid in her lungs. She was gone within 3 hours. I couldn't believe how quickly this happened. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

That's so similar to what happened to Dante. I noticed him breathing rapidly one night, the next night he was hacking in his sleep, and he couldn't rest. I took him to the vet the next day, was diagnosed with enlarged heart/partially collapsed trachea/murmur, but no sign of CHF or fluid. He was put on antibiotics and bronchodilators so help his airway, went for a follow up a few days later, everything looked okay despite still breathing a little fast a night, then two days later he woke up unable to breathe, cyanotic, fluid in the lungs and well, you know the rest, now. It was over the course of two weeks.

 

Like I mentioned before, I felt like despite the fair prognosis, that I wouldn't have long. It was just that feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me he wasn't going to be with me anymore. I just wish it hadn't been so scary for him.

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