belceboo
Hello everybody,

I came here because neither my family nor my friends get how much it hurts inside that my best friend is not here anymore. I need to talk to someone that could understand my pain right now. Nerón was so important to me and I can't stop crying since he died, five months ago.

He was 11 yo and I'm 19 so he was basically my brother, I have spent all my life with him and now I can't see a purpose, because he was the only one that really helped with my problems. I have depression since a lot, I was bullied, my parents have alcohol issues and my family in general had put too many resposibilities at me since I was a little kid. He was the most pure soul I know and helped me go through all that. He was the only one who was there, always. It's just not fair how he wanted to stay, and he had to leave.

He got sick suddenly, he spent seven days in vet and then came back home. That day he stole some bones from the bin and I yelled at him because I was so worried about him leaving. I tried  to go for a walk with him, as the vet told me to do, and even though he tried hard, he couldn't walk more than ten steps. I felt collapsed and guilty for his death because of that last walk. I though he could get better, because in his eyes I could see he wanted to.

The next day, after taking his pills, he started to vomit. I was alone at home and had no car, and my baby boy was feeling so much pain in front of me. He even fell off after puking. And I waited for 30 minutes for my mum to come. He was looking at me like saying goodbye and I sat on the floor with him and spent all that time peting him, for the last time, trying to calm him down.

I couldn't even go to the vet and be there in his last minutes, because my mum took him and didn't let me go. The last image I have from him, is him full on anxiety and not understanding anything, almost choking. I can't rest since that day. I can't live normally. I just can't deal with opening the door of my house and not watching him waiting for me. He was literally all I had, and all I wanted to have. And now he is gone.

I just hope I gave him the best life, and I feel sorry for everything I did wrong and all the time I didn't spend with him. I feel sorry for being always sad.

I miss you so much, Nero. You are my best friend and my soulmate for life. You'll always be remembered and loved. I would give my life to see you again. 

IMG_4284.jpg    IMG_E8226-min_opt.jpg 


Marieta
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MichelleKinkaid
I'm so very sorry for your loss and sadness. Much of the world does not understand the bond that we were fortunate to have had. I lost my Rocky 5 1/2 months ago (in June) and I miss him everyday. He was everything to me so I understand your feelings. The many folks here are supportive and share the thought that we must take one day at a time ... which is good advice as that's all we can do. I wish with everything in me that I could change things but it is not possible. I miss my Rocky everyday and think about him all the time. He was such a love and my ray of sunshine.
Your Neron looks like a very loving little guy ... thank you for sharing his photo. Wishing you comfort at this very difficult time.
xoxo

(this is my Rocky)
00-20190315_152157-Rocky in yard-head shot-CROP2-SMALL2.jpg 
Michelle Kinkaid
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belceboo
MichelleKinkaid wrote:
I'm so very sorry for your loss and sadness. Much of the world does not understand the bond that we were fortunate to have had. I lost my Rocky 5 1/2 months ago (in June) and I miss him everyday. He was everything to me so I understand your feelings. The many folks here are supportive and share the thought that we must take one day at a time ... which is good advice as that's all we can do. I wish with everything in me that I could change things but it is not possible. I miss my Rocky everyday and think about him all the time. He was such a love and my ray of sunshine.
Your Neron looks like a very loving little guy ... thank you for sharing his photo. Wishing you comfort at this very difficult time.
xoxo

(this is my Rocky)
00-20190315_152157-Rocky in yard-head shot-CROP2-SMALL2.jpg 

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your words and support. I'm so sorry for your loss too, I'm sure Rocky was a supercat, and he enjoyed every single moment that he spent with you. Thanks for sharing a photo, Rocky had a very special look in his eyes. 

I wish you the best, and all the strenght of the world to go through these tough times. 
xoxo
Marieta
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Gucci
Belceboo - First of all, my deepest sympathies for the wrenching loss of your beloved Nero. Thank you for posting the pictures. He looks like a complete sweetheart, and to no longer have him by your side when you've had his presence for 11 years is a deeply traumatic absence.

Your profound love for him comes through so clearly in how worried you were for him. While you weren't able to be with him at the vet's, this does not negate all the time you cared for him and were by his side from the beginning.

I'm so sorry you're coping with his death on top of other family challenges. If you're able to find a grief support group, or a hotline to talk to someone else, you may find that helpful. We aren't meant to go through such sorrow alone, and please know that the forum is here to support you whenever you need it.

I miss my beloved cat Sammi, whom I lost almost 2 months ago, every single day. He was my special boy, the light at the end of my day, and it still hurts physically thinking about him. 

I'm sending you my deepest sympathies, and peaceful thoughts. Please be compassionate with yourself; you were a wonderful friend to Nero. 
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Gucci
P.S. Belceboo - here the link to a hotline that I read about in another post that may help you:
 
https://daybydaypetsupport.com

Big hugs to you.
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belceboo
Gucci wrote:
Belceboo - First of all, my deepest sympathies for the wrenching loss of your beloved Nero. Thank you for posting the pictures. He looks like a complete sweetheart, and to no longer have him by your side when you've had his presence for 11 years is a deeply traumatic absence.

Your profound love for him comes through so clearly in how worried you were for him. While you weren't able to be with him at the vet's, this does not negate all the time you cared for him and were by his side from the beginning.

I'm so sorry you're coping with his death on top of other family challenges. If you're able to find a grief support group, or a hotline to talk to someone else, you may find that helpful. We aren't meant to go through such sorrow alone, and please know that the forum is here to support you whenever you need it.

I miss my beloved cat Sammi, whom I lost almost 2 months ago, every single day. He was my special boy, the light at the end of my day, and it still hurts physically thinking about him. 

I'm sending you my deepest sympathies, and peaceful thoughts. Please be compassionate with yourself; you were a wonderful friend to Nero. 


Thank you so much, your words mean a lot to me, and the charm and support from the forum is helping me a lot, I don’t feel that lonely anymore. I’m really really thankful.

I’m sorry for your loss too, you can count on me if you need to talk. I’m 100% sure Sammi had the best life companion he could have ever had, you should be proud of you. He will always be with you.
Marieta
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Gucci
Marieta - Yes, we will carry our beloved friends with us in our hearts forever. Thank you for your kind words, and I'm very glad you feel less lonely after having found this forum.

Aside from the shock and disbelief at the beginning, I realized that I felt terribly lonely without Sammi, and being able to talk about him and share my feelings here helped ease that. My younger cat Mo, doesn't show any obvious signals of distress, but I know he goes out far more often onto the deck. I always wonder if he's looking for Sammi, who could always be counted on to be outside somewhere.

Sending you warm wishes for a peaceful weekend...
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Matthew
belceboo - 

what a cutie pie he was. My Twinkie was my entire world, I share your pain to the smallest nerve. She let us on October 7th, and while it doesnt get easier, it gets (kind of ) better. You are with those that understand, and I know you wont find that in real life, at least in my experience. 

Matthew 
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LauriP92
Dear Marieta
Your post really affected me. I cannot tell you how sad I am for you-you really have no one to count on and your best friend has passed on. I am not sure why your mom didn't let you go to say goodbye to Nero however, she must've had her reasons
I know that Nero knew you gave him the very best life and you were his best friend. When we lose a pet it is almost if not worse than losing a person. We all wish they could live beyond our years. I suggest you purchase a book on grieving or talk to a psychologist. Maybe they can help you see clearly that Nero knew how much you loved him. 
A friend once told me a Dr Seuss quote that said 'dont cry because its over, smile because it happened'
I still cry a lot over my cat who passed in Sept. Its okay to cry-its normal. But they wouldn't want us to keep on crying. They are waiting for us at the rainbow bridge. Sending you a big hug
Lauri
Lauri 
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belceboo
Gucci wrote:
Marieta - Yes, we will carry our beloved friends with us in our hearts forever. Thank you for your kind words, and I'm very glad you feel less lonely after having found this forum.

Aside from the shock and disbelief at the beginning, I realized that I felt terribly lonely without Sammi, and being able to talk about him and share my feelings here helped ease that. My younger cat Mo, doesn't show any obvious signals of distress, but I know he goes out far more often onto the deck. I always wonder if he's looking for Sammi, who could always be counted on to be outside somewhere.

Sending you warm wishes for a peaceful weekend...


It’s great to have a place to talk about our loved ones where other people share the same feeling, and I’m glad that this site is helping you too.

Probably Mo is missing Sammi too, in his own way, looking for him. But if he’s distressed you can try to connect with his energy, he can be your main supoort as he surely understands how you feel about Sammi.

Take care of yourself and have a nice week. I’m here if you need to talk. <3
Marieta
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belceboo
Matthew wrote:
belceboo - 

what a cutie pie he was. My Twinkie was my entire world, I share your pain to the smallest nerve. She let us on October 7th, and while it doesnt get easier, it gets (kind of ) better. You are with those that understand, and I know you wont find that in real life, at least in my experience. 

Matthew 


Yes, I feel like a total outsider in real life, so thank you so much for sharing with me your support and your feelings, Matthew. You can count on me if you need to talk.

At least we have to be proud of ourselves, because of the strong bonds we forged with our loved friends. We will carry them in our hearts and what they mean will be always part of us. That makes us rich, in a special way. And that’s how Twinkie and Nero would like us to think and feel. We have to do it for them.

Sending you all my support - have a peaceful week. <3
Marieta
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belceboo
LauriP92 wrote:
Dear Marieta
Your post really affected me. I cannot tell you how sad I am for you-you really have no one to count on and your best friend has passed on. I am not sure why your mom didn't let you go to say goodbye to Nero however, she must've had her reasons
I know that Nero knew you gave him the very best life and you were his best friend. When we lose a pet it is almost if not worse than losing a person. We all wish they could live beyond our years. I suggest you purchase a book on grieving or talk to a psychologist. Maybe they can help you see clearly that Nero knew how much you loved him. 
A friend once told me a Dr Seuss quote that said 'dont cry because its over, smile because it happened'
I still cry a lot over my cat who passed in Sept. Its okay to cry-its normal. But they wouldn't want us to keep on crying. They are waiting for us at the rainbow bridge. Sending you a big hug
Lauri


About that, my grandpa passed away this year too and that affected me way less than loosing Nero. It’s crazy how pets can change our life even more than people, but the way they care and love us is simply so pure. They truly enjoy life, so it’s hard when they have to leave.

Thanks for your advice, I’m talking to a psychologist, she was the one who told me about the forum, and she’s helping me a lot. I’ll share with you her advices, maybe they help you too. Together we can get over this pain.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand your sorrow, and crying cleans our souls. But you’re right, we have to be strong and go forward, for them.

Thank you lots for your post, I’m here if you need me.
xoxo
Marieta
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