Josh79
This weekend my corgi Harry became ill. He lost his appetite and began to vomit. Today my dad took him to the vet for me while I was at work. That’s when I got the worst call ever. My dad informed me that Blood work revealed that Harry was in end stage renal failure and the only option is to let him go. I spent the evening with him loving on him, playing fetch, and just talking to him. I fixed him his favorite meal tonight so I can give him a little taste tomorrow. My plan is to wake up early, play, take a short walk, and just spend as much time as possible with him before we take our final trip to the vet. I’m at such a loss right now. I feel numb and then just break down crying. He’s been there for me through everything. He was with me through the death of my grandmother, a rough divorce, and no matter how bad my day was his smiling face always awaited me at the door. I just don’t know what to do at this point. I’ve had him for almost 14 years now. He’s been a major part of my life. Being single with no children he is my family. I just don’t know how to get up and face him tomorrow. I feel like I should have noticed this sooner. That there must have been something that I could have done. That after all the times he has been there for me I’ve let him down. That I was not there for him to catch this sooner. I’m not ready to let him go. I just don’t know what to do.
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CeeCeesMom
Josh, I'm so sorry you and Harry are going through this.  Dogs and cats are so good about hiding their illnesses until they reach the critical or end stage.  We humans are often blindsided with devastating news about our beloved animals' health.  Feelings of disbelief, numbness, crying, questioning, guilt and self blame are all part of the grieving process.  At this point, the best thing to do is to spend as much time with Harry as you can tonight and tomorrow.  Put aside all unnecessary distractions and focus on Harry.  Be in the moment with him.
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Josh79
Thank you. We had a really good day together and as hard as it was I found a way to say goodbye. I laid on the floor next to him and told him how special he was I talked until the dr told me he was gone. I spent a few minutes alone with him trying to wrap my head around the fact that he really was gone. No I just have to get through the day ahead. Thank you for your kind words they really helped.
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear Joshua,

I am very sorry for your great loss.

As you may know a dog's average lifespan in the wild (and this is for a mid-size dog capable of defending itself) is only about 10 years. That is how long a dog is biologically designed and engineered to live for. We humans can automatically extend the lifespan of dogs by adopting them and providing them with shelter (from the weather / elements and natural predators), regular food and water, trips to the vets, and love and affection (which contributes to well being.) But the truth is dogs are already seniors at around 7 years of age. You have provided your beloved Harry with all of the above and gave him a very long life, filled with companionship, love, affection and adoration and he knows that he is your family. Together you are a pack of 2. 

It is remarkable to me how our dogs (and cats) can become our family and in many ways can help us through the most difficult and darkest of times. You can easily read in your words how much you cherish Harry. I am grateful that your and his paths crossed and that together you share such a special and deep bond that will be everlasting. If you allow Harry's health to deteriorate, his end can be more painful and involve more suffering. By your ending his pain and suffering you will be making a bargain to absorb his pain and suffering and process it through your grief. That is what many of us, including myself felt we had to do. 

They say "you will know when the time comes." I knew. And I prayed to remain calm, cool and collected at the end of my boys life. A cat named Marmalade, who was my world. My best friend, my son, my brother, my comrade in arms, my love and the light in my life. He saved my life countless times and taught me so many valuable lessons about living when we were together for 4 years. He was around 11 or 12 we think when the time came to let him go. I could simply no longer allow him, a proud, handsome, kind and loving Tom-Cat who was once a King of a colony of cats when I adopted him 850 miles away in the high desert country of New Mexico to further become a shadow of his former self. Not on my watch.

Kind regards and my sincerest condolences,
James
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chilover
Josh.

I am so sorry to hear about your precious Harry..

I know your pain, I lost my beautiful 15 yr old Chihuahua to renal failure & I too live alone - she was my entire world!

It's so so difficult for us pet owners because they can't tell us anything & so many of us always blame ourselves, so please do not feel any guilt, as you were not to know or to blame...

I imagine you have many wonderful memories of Harry..

Hug

Daisy's mummy
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