Doglover, I understand how you feel. I understand the guilt and the heartache, we all have felt it too. Bless you for giving Rocky a home, and your other dog as well. Have you checked into any support in your community for vet bills? I know in my town there are some places to get help. It would not hurt to ask.
I also think about my pet's life and the times she was uncomfortable and threw up. Now I know that she was suffering from tumors all those years. If only I'd known, but of course they can't talk. Rocky could not tell you what was wrong, why he couldn't eat or make tears. How loving of you to give him the drops to try and comfort him. Of course you gave him a good, loving life. You gave him everything that you could and I know that Rocky is thankful that he had you to care for him. You will miss him, and it will take time to gather your thoughts again. I love your poem, what a wonderful tribute to your best friend. Please take good care of yourself, and your other dog too. I'm sending prayers and healing thoughts your way.
“If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever”
~Winnie the Pooh