Fallenmathias
My best friend "cat" mathias passed away yesterday in my arms and I just feel like I didn't do enough or it's my fault and I can't stop reliving it I just want one last day or chance to hold him and feel his lol head bump plz someone help me through this
Fallen
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Robsy
Fallen,
I'm so sorry for the loss of you're dear cat, Mathias. I understand your pain as my dear little cat, April left u two weeks ago. She was only 2 years old and I so wish I had more time her. I hope you have some support and a friendly ear to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. 

Big hugs to you,
Robyn 
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Fallenmathias
Thank you and I'm sorry for your loss and I'm glad I'm not alone but I do miss him
Fallen
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Robsy
Fallen,
You're welcome and you are definitely not alone in your grief. It's amazing how these little blessings can impact your life and how much we can miss them.

Kind regards,
Robyn 
 
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Fallenmathias
Very true crazy how they can become more than friends more than family you know
Fallen
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Jcunnane
Dear Fallen,

I'm so sorry about the loss of your beloved Mathias. Please know you are here with good people who are going through the same feelings you are experiencing. I can probably say the vast majority of us second guess if we did enough or if we have to make that last decision, was it right thing to do. But please know you are not alone.

I had to say goodbye to my beloved ginger tabby boy, Bubby, who would have been 10 at the end of this month, 4 weeks ago yesterday to renal failure. We had to help him cross to the Rainbow Bridge and I can tell you it was the most painful, hardest and most heartbreaking decision I ever had to make. The decision to stop my baby boys heart still sends me into a downward spiral but like so many of us say here, we gave our babies the last gift we possibly could have, to take away their pain and suffering and put that upon ourselves. It's the most selfless decision we have to make. They mean so much to us that we are willing to take that pain upon ourselves.

Even though it's been 4 weeks, I still question everything. Why didn't I see more of the signs? Could I have helped him more in the past year even though we didn't put the two and two together. Could we have been a little more aggressive with this last stay at the hospital and have him pulled through. In the end, his body was shutting down. If we were able to pull him through, his quality of life would have been horrible. SubQ fluids, red blood cell therapy, medicine, pain meds and a new diet. He would have been so angry at me. My husband and I needed to let him go with somewhat of his dignity even though he was becoming a mere shadow of himself in just one week. 

My heart is empty like yours. The pain is overwhelming. The tears seem to never end. And just when you think you're starting to be ok, something triggers and then you feel like you're back at day one. It's a process I'm told. A long one for people like us who love our animals so much that they're not animals to us, they're family...they're children to us. Bubby was so much to me. He showed me true unconditional love. He was there for my awkward 20s. He was there when I was finding myself and the big milestones in my life. He was there when we bought our first house, when we got married, through my first pregnancy which was difficult, and the birth of my daughter. He was my rock. And not only my rock but my hero, my warrior, my son, my love, my comfort, my anti-anxiety. We depend on these loves and sometimes, like myself, didn't realize this until he was gone. I can't sleep now because he was my "sleeping medicine". It's all very different. And now a chapter of my life has come to an end and a new one begins as much as I hate and don't want it to happen. We are lucky to have Bubby's sister and littermate, Lola. She's so very different then Bubby. He was a very social, in-your-face kitty. He loved to be loved and loved to love. He couldn't get enough of it. Lola is much more independent and likes things on her terms. With Bubby, you couldn't annoy him if if you tried. Ok maybe taking him to the the vet and hospital. Then he became a TIGER, but not this last time. He was tired. He was ready. He had 2 other stays at the hospital and I tell you, no lying, his medical records is about 2 inches thick. He's been through a double blood transfusion, a scope down his through, bladder stone surgery, numerous ultrasounds, tons of IVs, and I cant even count how many times he's been poked and prodded. BUT when he was home, he knew he was home. He was a big ball of orange love.

So please know you are not alone here. There are some truly wonderful people who have helped me through this very difficult journey called grieving. They've even been able to put a smile on my face, make me laugh and bring back some wonderful memories of my sweet Bubby. We're here for you when you need us. We're here to listen (I ramble a lot if you couldn't tell), help with advice, or lend a virtual shoulder when you need one. Please feel free to post stories, write letters to your dear Mathias and post photos, if and when you're ready. I think it really does help.

Again, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear boy but just because he's not physically here doesn't mean he's still not with you. He is. The bond and love is for eternity and one day you'll be reunited again.

Sending you hugs,
Jackie


Bubby's (Milo) Mommy - Always & Forever My Little Man 💜

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Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear Fallen,

Welcome to the Forum, even under such sad circumstances. Like the others who have offered their condolences, I offer you mine.

I too recently lost my beloved. 8 weeks ago yesterday. He was my son, my brother, my amigo, my compadre, my last remaining family member (that I could trust), my light and my love. He never lied to me, nor abused, deceived, betrayed, insulted, judged, left nor abandoned me. He was loyal, loving and true. Our paths crossed 850 miles away. That is how far I had to travel to find him and for him to find me. I saved his life and he saved mine, countless time. He was my little walking miracle.

In the end I had to put "my lad" to sleep. By ending his pain & suffering, I agreed to take his pain & suffering onto myself. To absorb it and process it through my grief. That is the bargain that I made. That is the bargain that so many here have had to make. 

I am so sorry that you are experiencing the overwhelming grief and sorrow that has consumed most of us here. I am relatively new to this forum. But there are countless survivors here that will tell you firsthand, that time will help to heal your broken heart. And that "This too shall pass."

Kind regards,
James
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Fallenmathias
Thank you all so much and I'm so sorry you all have lost some one so dear to you your story's and words of encouragement really are helping ty
Fallen
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Fallenmathias
Here's mathias
Fallen
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Ohhh. He's awesome. Thank you for sharing. : * )


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just_lost
Fallenmathias wrote:
Here's mathias


He's a beautiful cat...reminds me a lot of Felix, whom we helped cross the bridge three weeks ago.  I'm sorry for your loss, Fallen.  We're all here for you - post back anytime.
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Fallenmathias
Well I buried him today and feel so lost without him but I know he isn't in pain anymore and happy just wish I had one more day
Fallen
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catiebee
I so understand wishing you had more time. You may feel like that for a long while. I'm very sorry for your loss. Mathias was a beautiful boy! Be extra good to yourself during these first and hardest weeks of grieving. It takes a lot out of you. Wishing you comfort....
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Jenniferhiggs1221
Fallenmathias.so sorry for your loss of your baby Mathias.such a beautiful cat.thank you for sharing a picture of him..i know you miss him so much and are hurting..its crazy so crazy for me to believe i lost my best friend and soulmate Reeses my orange tabby 6 weeks it will be this wesnesday..i still am extremly sad ove my baby not being here..i just got back from "vacation" with my husband and son thursday and it was not really a vacation for me..i think i missed him even more being there and thought about him the whole time..even sadder when i had to come home and he wasnt waiting for me like every other year on vacay..i started crying as soon as we pulled up..i still try to think about all the good times we had and how happy he made my life as i know your baby did.hope you can find peace in this sad time and know your friend is at the bridge happy and whole and will be there waiting for the day you can be together again
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