It has only been 4 days since I had to make the hardest and most painful decision of my life: to put my soul kitten, Isabella aka “Bella”, to sleep. She has been unwell but so very strong for years now. She was the runt of the litter but had the biggest personality. She was diagnosed with Polycystic kidney disease (common for Persians but is not supposed to be allowed to be bred if diagnosed) late in life at 13 plus a growing liver tumor that pressed on her stomach causing her nausea. With proper medication and fluids, she survived long enough for me to graduate college and spend 2 more years together before she had a stroke and seemingly never recovered. First she was unable to control the dilation of her left pupil, but otherwise was fine. Vet said if she adapted then it was no big deal. Then her jaw would lock up at times which annoyed her but she was so strong it didn’t stop her from being herself. However, when she stopped grooming and her balance had become so bad that she couldn’t walk in a straight line anymore without falling, I knew it was time. Her end was a peaceful euthanasia at the vet hospital where she got her fluids, so she was extremely comfortable there. I just can’t cope yet with her not being here. I notice and miss ALL of her quirks. I miss her threatening to leap into the tub with me when I would take a bath. I miss her loud rumbling purr and her soft angelic trill (we called it her coo). I miss her morning ritual of waking everyone up early so that she could watch us fall back asleep to her purring on our chests. I miss everything about her from when she was a stubby 4 week old kitten up until the end of the road 3 weeks before her 17th birthday. We grew up together. I whispered my endless thoughts, hopes, dreams, and despairs into her always listening ears. I have cried and felt numb, but more than anything, I feel this motherly urge to bring my fur baby back home even if she is in an urn. How do I heal without simply forgetting to think of her? Will I feel better once she is back in my possession?
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I had my darling little boys ashes returned to me...and I felt as if he was home again...and I talk to him...tell him what type of day I am having and tell him that I love him and always will love him.

It has been almost seven weeks since my baby Monty left us our darling boy cat...I still have a cry every day but many of those are remembering the funny and loving times we shared together...and there are so many.

He loves you and you love him...he will always be with you.

Cherish every moment you had with him and not the last sad days.

Ellen x
Ellen Hague
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I know how you are feeling. So hard. I just lost my 18 year old boy Deeder. He was my baby! I miss all the things we shared as well. He too had a tumor in his bladder which we did surgery but it grew back. It was cancer but in the end he died from kidney and heart issues. May your beautiful memories bring you comfort and peace. May your heart rest in the knowledge that your pet was loved and cherished. God bless.   Jeanne
Jeanne Swift
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Cat Whisperer,

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. You are very fortunate that Bella was with you until 17 years of age, but it is devastating at whatever age they leave us. Unfortunately, I just lost my precious cat, Daredevil called "DD" for short, quite unexpectedly on Saturday July 11th.  He was only 12.  He was fine the day before, but he was critically ill and in shock when we brought him to the vet.  They felt a mass and could do nothing to save him.  I only wish I had brought him to the vet more often, but that is something that cannot be changed. 

DD was quite the unique cat.  He followed me around like a dog.  He could jump really high as if he had a flight pack on his back.  He also did daring feats of balance on the headboard of our brass bed, always trying to outdo himself!  He carried what looked like a weasel toy around in his mouth making unusual noises as if he just had killed it; I did name it his "kill". 

His body was brought home and buried above his sister, Sabrina, and I visit him there. So, yes, bring Bella home in an urn; it will bring you some comfort. 

The joy and love that we experience from our companion animals by far outweighs the pain we suffer when they are no longer with us.  From my past experience, I assure you that your heart will be given to another companion animal when you are ready, but your loving memories of Bella will always remain with you. 

Peace and Comfort,

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