AnneL
I lost my beloved dog Ganto on Monday this week. My grief feels absolutely unbearable. He was a German shepherd and was 9 years.
He had Spleen and liver hemangiosarcoma , cancer and I had to let him go.
It feels like my heart has been torn out . I can not be in my house because everything reminds me of him .
I do not think I will be happy ever again. I live alone and he was my whole life. 
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dearellie
Oh, Anne, I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful boy Ganto was. And what a beautiful bond the two of you shared.

I lost my soul-cat Ellie last Friday, and I can tell you already I can feel the pain lessen just a little. Having joined this forum really helps. You are not alone, and we'll all heal with time. But for now, acknowledge your pain and share it with all of us who know what you're going through.

Hugs,
Liz
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camunki
hi AnneL, so sorry for the loss of your Ganto and glad you had nine beautiful years with your baby. The path for grieving is a hard one this is so fresh and new.

I know of the hemangiosarcoma, i lost my beloved Shar Pei Wrinkles at 11 y/o to this deadly cancer, it happened in a matter of 2 days, when the cancer basically exploded and spread to his internal organs / stomach...and i had to have him PTS. 

Please know you are not alone, your Ganto is now a the wonderful Rainbow Bridge, watching over you, your guardian angel, until you
meet again....

Cam

Cam


 
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AnneL
Hi Liz and Cam
Thank you for the answer. I am very sorry for your loss of your cat Ellie and the loss of your dog Wrinkels Cam..
I also had a cat for many years , who simply disappeared . I still wonder what happened to it. But I was just a youngster at the time, and the relationship was not such as to Ganto .
The cancer type hemangiosarcoma is a terrible disease , it happens so fast without us knowing anything until it's too late . I am very sorry that your dog died of this Cam.
It must have been one shock that it happened so quickly.
 
I am glad that I found this forum , because there are so many who understand . It is not so easy to explain to people who do not have pets.
I am Norwegian , and it is difficult to find such forums in this country .

Anne Line
 
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SAZ1
I had to put my dog down just yesterday, so I feel your pain.  2 years ago, I lost my other dog (I had adopted both dogs at the same time) died of he same spleen issue.  It happened very quickly and took me by surprise.  The first couple of weeks are very hard.  I found that volunteering at my local animal rescue helped me.  Yes, it was hard to be around dogs soon after the loss of mine, but it also made me feel like I was giving thanks back to my rescue dog who had passed.  I think the key is to stay busy and remember that the pain will decrease every day.  I'm sorry for your loss.  Losing a pet is a horrible experience, but they are worth it.  In a few weeks, you will start to be able to remember your Ganto and not feel sad but rather feel happy for the memory.  Hang in there.

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sbsad
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I lost my 15-year-old dog, Maggie, to hemangiosarcoma 6 weeks ago. It was the hardest thing I have ever gone through, I was completely grief-stricken, sick to my stomach for days. I also worried that I would never feel happy again. But, I just want to reassure you that it isn't true. Even two weeks afterward, I wasn't feeling nearly as awful -- I still cried every day, usually several times a day, but I didn't feel that deep, gut-wrenching awfulness that I felt at first. More like a depressed feeling, but one that I could be distracted from if I was out and doing something else. Now, 6 weeks later, I'm much, much better. I still miss her and cry about once a day, but it isn't weighing down my entire life, and I can enjoy other activities and be distracted.

So hang in there -- it will be so terrible in the beginning, but with time it really does get better, even though it's hard to believe at first. Everyone has their own timeline for grief and yours might not be exactly the same as someone else's, but most people do feel better eventually.
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camunki
Hi Anne, yes the cancer is very aggressive, i found out on a Tues after Wrinkles was biopsied, that is was Hemangiosarcoma, and by Wed, Wrinkles stopped eating, and Thursday the cancer invaded his internal organs and i had no choice but to put my baby to rest.

As for your Ganto, i am glad you had nine years, again, we want our pets to live *forever*....and yes, the cancer does come on fast and is so aggressive there was no time to do anything.

My heart goes out to you & yes this forum is wonderful with great people who truly love thier pets as family!

Cam

Cam


 
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AnneL

It is Friday afternoon and I am quitting work soon. I feel so lost, and I just can’t go home to my empty house. It feels like I am going to have a panic attract or something. I have been crying in the bathroom at work and it just feels devastating. I miss my baby so much that it feels like my heart is going to explode with grief . This is going to be the the worst weekend of my life.


Anne Line

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AnneL
It has been 7 days since I lost my beloved boy Ganto. It still hurts like an open wound. When I look at your pictures I close my eyes and can feel how it was to hold my arms around you. I just cant accept that he is gone forever. Nobody understands that I am still grieving over my best friend. They say why cant you just get another dog. I dont want another dog, I want my dog, my baby. 
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jimmy17
Ann, everyone on here totally understands your grief - friends and family mean well - but only people who have had the love and companionship of a loving dog for years can truly understand the pain we go through when we lose them. I lost my old boy Jim just over 5 weeks ago, and for the first 2 weeks I really thought I was going mad. 
 I could neither eat or sleep, sometimes I would even forget he was no longer here and I kept expecting to see him still curled up on the sofa, or in his basket next to our bed. It actually felt like someone had torn a big hole in my chest. Jim was so special, we have no children so he was like our baby, our lives totally revolved around him especially during his last years as we had to give him medication and help him about. 
  Five weeks later, I have finally accepted that he has gone over the Bridge and is now happy and running around free from all his problems - though we still feel his spirit comes to visit us sometimes. I promise you that it will get better, although your grief is still so very new right now, just take each day - or even hour - at a time. As for people who just think you can go out and get another dog, no way, they have no idea that to us, our dogs are like our children. Sending you hugs, Ganto and Jim will looking down on us I am sure. Jackie. xx
J Taylor
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lostlittleboy
The first few weeks are awful - I expected my dog to just walk round the corner in the house, be asleep on (or more likely in) someone's bed having sneaked upstairs when we weren't watching.  I started thinking the joke has gone on long enough now, we just want him back.

The feeling of hurt and pain are unlike anything else - takes your breath away, makes you feel sick sometimes, I felt rage at nothing - started being grouchy and miserable with the family.

My wife and I got angry with her mother who expected us to stop grieving in a day or so and said insensitive things in front of the children.

It'll be up to you alone to decide if/when you have another dog - it's not like replacing a phone you smashed on the floor.
I decided soon after that the feelings we still had would be better served homing another dog - I still feel sad, but our new addition is certainly keeping us busy, but we can talk to her about it too, and explain where the nose prints on the windows come from.
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AnneL

It has been 17 days since I lost you my beloved boy, and the emptiness in my heart is still strong. I remember so well how I always was looking forward to come home from work to be greeted by you and your kisses. We always went out for a walk in the forest and you loved to run around. Now I stay late at work every day as I can’t stand coming home to my empty house. I feel your presence sometimes, and I am sure you are still around. I know we will meet again someday when it is my turn. Nobody could understand me as you, and I understood you too. We only looked at each other to know what the other part wanted. You were so wice and had so much love in you. I would do anything to have one more hour with you. But now there is only heartache and emptiness left. I am trying to remember all the good hikes and times we had, but it only makes me sad to think about it. I hope that I one day can remember you with joy in my heart without crying because you deserve to be remembered With joy. My beloved boy Ganto…

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LUCYLULU
Hi AnneL:  Having just read about losing your Ganto...I completely understand. It was Lucy & I...and then she was gone. There is nothing like this pain. Having lost many people I love-- my own family & friends...I have been through much 'grief' and loss. This is different. It hurts so much. Everyone on this forum really 'gets it'. The collective understanding, empathy and sharing helps. Hugs, KC
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AnneL

I has been two months today since I lost you. I still have a really hard time to get through the days without you my baby. Everything still reminds me of you. It is starting to be a bit warmer outside and I know that you would have loved that. We always went for longer hikes and especially today when it is Friday. It seem like you knew when it was Friday and we should just be together for the whole  weekend just snuggling and a lot of walks in the woods chasing sticks (your favorite). You always loved to lay out on the terrace when it started to heat up outside looking over the neighborhood like a king. I only feel sadness over the spring this year. I just don’t know how to cope. I am still crying every day thinking of you. I am so angry with myself that I didn’t understand how much pain you must have felt the last time of your life. I remember one day you just looked at me the whole day, and I didn’t understand. I just hope that you can forgive me and understand how much I loved you.

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AnneL
It has been over four months since you left me my baby. I just cant get over you and sometimes I fell like I am going insane or something because I am missing you so much. I look at pictures of you and I still remember so much how it felt to hold my arms around you and give you hugs and kisses, playing with your favorite toys and all the wonderful walks. It is like half my heart is gone. I feel like I am just exists, but not lives anymore.
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