jstewart
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jstewart
Deak was truly my best friend and I had her since she was 8 weeks old. Named by my ex husband as a hockey term "Deke the Goalie!"  The pain of losing her is raw and I wonder if I will ever get through it.She was a sweet girl inside and out and loved everyone.   I also suffer from depression so she was unknowingly an emotional support buddy, as well.  I  didn't expect to lose her so suddenly.  It started with her not being able to climb the stairs to go to bed then she started to eat less dry dog food (but I was giving her braunschweiger which she liked and it hid joint medication) yet eventually she became lethargic and weak only able to go on a few steps to the end of the driveway on her walks. I'm not sure what made her sick but the vet said she had anemia and she had lumps and bumps.  One lump in particular that the vet was concerned about.  I never got it tested and feel guilty for that. She was my girl and I will miss her forever!  I don't have children so the house is so lonely without her.  In healthier days she liked to go for walks, to sniff around, going to the dog park, rides in the car and over to my parents house as they only live a few miles away.  they have a nice big fenced in yard that Deak enjoyed running around in - "snow or shine".  I keep looking over at the spots that she liked to sleep and there is no Deak.ÃÆâ€Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’ƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¬ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¾ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¬ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Â¦ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚¬ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Â¦Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚°ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’ƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚¬ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚¬ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Â¦Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¬ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¦ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¬ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Â¦ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚¬ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Â¦Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¸ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’ƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚¬ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚¬ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Â¦Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¬ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Â¦ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¬ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚¬ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¦ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¾ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¬ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Â¦ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚¬ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Â¦Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’ƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚¬ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚¬ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Â¦Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¬ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚¦ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¬ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Â¦ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ¢â‚¬ ÃƒÆ’ƒÆ’¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’‚¢ÃƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚¬ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Â¦Ãƒâ€šÃ‚¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’†ÃƒƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ÃƒÆ’ƒÃ‚¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…¡ÃƒÃ†Ãƒ¢â‚¬â„¢ÃƒÆ’¢â‚¬Å¡ÃƒÃ¢â‚¬Å¡Ãƒâ€šÃ‚  Her final day 4/14/2020 was heartbreaking. She couldn't get up to go outside to the bathroom, first time ever .Wouldn't take her favorite treat Dentasyx. Then she laid there groaning in pain. There was no choice but to make an appointment with the vet for the euthanasia. It was a peaceful experience though with lots of tears.  My parents joined me and my mom said before the vet gave her the last shot Deak looked up from the little gurney and looked down the row at each one of us - me, my mom and dad.  Not in fear but almost as if to say goodbye I'll be okay.  It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.  I love you Deaker. my pony I 'll see you again on the other side. I hope you are playing with Sydney, Stan, Ruff and Theo. Wish I would have kept her ashes but my mom said she's not really there; Her soul has gone to heaven. My heart is broken I loved her.
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Jan_H
I am very sorry for your loss of your beautiful Deak. Clearly she was very much loved and had a wonderful life with you. I feel animals can reach a part of our hearts that others can't. Their love is steadfast through all the ups and downs that life throws at us. When they leave us it is heartbreaking.

I hope in time memories of Deak can bring you a little smile instead of tears.

My condolences,
Jan
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jstewart
Hi Jan, thank you for your kind words.  I agree that animals can reach our hearts that others cannot.  Non animal lovers cannot relate to the depth that they touch us.  I appreciate your taking time to respond to my post.  It has been 11 days and the pain is still raw but as you said I hope in time her memories will bring comfort instead of tears. Difficult to lose a best friend that has been with me through the ups and downs in life. My only relief at the moment is knowing that she is not suffering. 

Jill
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