FrostysMom
I am so sad. I don't think my tears will ever stop. I lost my best friend and beloved family member, Frosty, Monday March 21 2016 @ 9:02pm. He was 13, to be 14 June 30. We were together over 13 years, since he was just my 3 month old floppy eared big pawed puppy. I was in my early 20s when Frosty came to me, all the way from St. Louis Missouri to Massachusetts. He was my first dog outside of childhood, my first 'own' dog. About a month ago, Frosty was off. It was short lived. It panicked me, but due to the quickness of it, I thought it was age. Last week I went to take Frosty out to go the bathroom before bed. He collapsed at the door. Again, I was convinced it was age, arthritis, slowing down; age. I picked him up and placed him on the couch. This was unusual behavior for Frosty 'resisting' going out. I thought, ok, I'll take him out in the morning. The next couple of days, I was picking Frosty up. Carrying him outside. Carrying him back inside. Hand feeding him food, holding water under his chin, taking him out to go the bathroom and instead of reacting to every thing he heard as normal, watching him lay down.
I took him to the vet Monday March 21 2016. He never came home. The tears I have shed... I lost my boy. My partner. My best friend. My sidekick, of nearly 14 years. He was diagnosed with massive amount of fluid build up. When the fluid was removed via needle, it was blood. My Frosty. My everything. Was bleeding. Internally. The vet who was so very kind, caring, and wonderfully compassionate, told me it was over. Frosty was one of the rare cases, she would not even recommend blood transfussion, removal of tumors, or any further treatment. It would be a modest effort, with a dismal oucome. He was losing oxygen. He wasn't moving. His organs were working overtime. He was displaying symptoms of grand mal seizures. I broke down. My sweet boy, my angel. I cried so hard, for so long. I questioned the vet, so many times. 'Are you sure?' What she could offer, she could run an IV nto Frosty and give him liquids, it would temporarily revive his blood; for a couple of hours, no longer. The tears I cried have not stopped even now. I didn't want to leave him. I promised him, I would never leave him. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I couldn't be selfish. I really wanted to be though. I had to do what was right. For him, for Frosty.
I enwrapped Frosty's left paw in my hands. My son who is half of Frosty's age and has known no other world without his dog and best friend, so bravely wanted to stay. He refused the nice nurses offerings of going out front while Frosty went to Heaven. 'He needed to be there for his best friend, and would not leave him.' My son gently held Frosty's right paw. The Doctor began to administer the medication. Even then, I asked, 'Are you sure?' I Held Frosty's paw in my left hand and rubbed his head with my right hand. I put my face up to his. I told him, 'How much I loved him.' 'How I was right there with him.' 'To never to forget... He is always with me.' Frosty was pronounced passed at 9:02pm.
I told Frosty I would never leave him. My heart, is broken.
I put the key in the door, I still look through the bottom of the blinds waiting to see him on the kitchen floor before I even open the door. I sit on the couch. I look at the other couch, expecting to see him. Looking out of the corner of my eye, expecting him. Feeling him missing from the couch. Missing laying on the kitchen floor, Frosty curled up to the back of me knees every tkme. Or sitting, his head rested on my shins. The pillows on the floor. That I refuse to move. His colors; brown & white. But I won't move them. Because in my peripheral, it looks like him. No one getting up every time I do, following my every move.
I think of his puppy years. How when he first came home I would sleep on the floor with him.His first Birthday. His first Halloween year as Frankenstein. His first seasons. His first time swimming at a beach, and in a lake. Dog parks. Walks. Hikes. Grooming appointments. Vet trips.
I feel broken. There's no watching him and my son do their daily morning outdoor routine. No walking in the door and having him so close to your feet for a welcome you have to tell him to back up. Before I go to bed, I have to stop myself from trying to take him out one last time before bed, and checking his water bowl. I slept with him in the living room, or on the kitchen floor, every night for the last week.
Frosty was returned to me Thursday March 24. He does look so beautiful. I can not say enough about the Vet, and the company that assisted in my best friend's aftercare. I am so grateful to have him home. But I wish I had him back.
I miss my Frosty. My dog. My best friend. My partner. The one who showed me unconditional love, who I loved unconditionally. The one who expanded his love in my family, and showed me how to love.
I miss my angel terribly. Good night my sweet boy. My Frosty. I will be with you again.

Love eternally,
FrostysMom
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Bailey15
Dear FrostysMom,
I have tears in my eyes after reading your beautiful story. I am so sorry for you and your little boy to lose such a special friend! I think that it was wonderful that you could both be there for Frosty at the end. I'm sure it gave him much happiness and peace. I am so sorry for the terrible pain you are feeling. I do understand. When we had to let our dog, Bailey, go in November it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Please know that my thoughts are with you.
Sending you hugs and prayers,
MJ
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BeachieGirl33
Your story breaks my heart.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I lost my kitty one month ago.  He just turned 18 years old on Feb. 4.  He was my everything and my best friend.  The pain and hurt are beyond words I know.  But please rest assured that our babies are waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge.  Peace, hugs and prayers go out to you.
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shinjaejun
So sorry for your loss. We lost our dog Zoey the same day. My daughter has grown up with zoey, the only furry buddy she's known. Its been a hard week here, so my heart goes out to you knowing your family is going through the same. Sending you much love and hugs.
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winstonsmom12
Please accept my condolences on You and your son's loss.  I lost my Winston 3/2/16.  Like you, i hand fed him, held water bowl under his chin and carried him out, and into bed in his last few days. I also thought it was old age and arthritis. He slept with me everynight.  I now have realized I did the  right thing by him. He was suffering, and was worse off than i ever had thought, and I didn't realize just how much.  Although I couldn't afford a lot of testing, on the day I took him in (his last day) the vet said "I can see he is suffering" I felt like a bad pet owner! He was a 12 year old Bulldog. I thank God now, after reading articles on the internet about symptoms,  which he had many of, and talking to people in here,He is out of misery and at peace now.  Love and Miss You So Very Much Baby    Mommy XOXOXO
Susan
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FrostysMom
This is my first time responding, I'm not sure if this will go to each one of you wonderful people separately, or as a group. It's amazing what our furry shining lights do for us, and to us. Complete strangers, comforting each other in their sadness and loss. I can not tell you, what each one of your responses has meant to me. I ache for each one of your losses, as I do for my own.

I'm having so much difficulty. Even when I think I have it pulled together for a couple of minutes, that passes so quickly, and I break down even without notice. I cry myself to sleep. I keep Frosty's ashes in the tv room where he could always be foud, on a bookcase, adorned with a photo album, his collar, his leash, a clipping of his fur in a vial that the vet offered to my son. I haven't been able to sit for long periods of time. I pace. Back and forth, in circles. When I do sit, I place Frosty's ashes on his favorite couch. The pillows that supported him in his final hours, I can't move from the floor. Hos fur that I would normally vacuum up very weekend, stays on the floor. I won't pick it up.

Someone said they felt like a bad pet owner. I understand that so much. I felt the same way. Powerless. Failing. Guilty. Until I hear my parents, they remind me of the life we brought to each other. Our love. Our trips. Silly times. Our time together. It lifts me to remember these things. But when I'm alone at night after my son goes to bed, I break again.

The guilt that I have. Sunday night Frosty was so very ill. My son and I slept on the cold hard kitchen floor with Frosty. We laid on each side of him. I whispered to Frosty, please hang in there buddy, I'm taking you to the vet tomorrow and we're going to get you all fixed up. This breaks my soul. I feel like I lied to him. I feel like, I left him.

I miss my sweet boy, so very much.

I am so sorry to every one of you for your loss. I imagine Frosty woth my family's pets before him. Running. Drinking from streams in vivid green meadows. But as I type this I realize, he will not just be with his family, he will be with all of yours too. To think of my boy, playing with all of your four legged children...we have been brought together by them, and I believe now, our pets are all together.

I can not thank all of you enough for your kind words. Your sharing of your own heartbreaks. I am here for you, as you were for me. I am sending heavy thoughts, love, and prayers to all of you. I hope we speak again. <3

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Beaglemomma
n Oh honey your story is so sad, but so BRAVE and you are raising a WONDERFUL little boy who was so strong.  I am proud of you.  This is one of the hardest things you will ever face and it will unfortunately stay with you forever.  It sounds like you are a single Mom and I was too, so I know how difficult it is to be responsible for ALL decisions.  YOU DID GOOD.

You gave your baby the greatest gift you could give him, you freed him from awful pain. You did NOT lie to Frosty, you did free him from pain and he is a wonderful place now, just not with YOU like you would like.   Not easy I know.

 Would love to see some pictures of your Frosty when you are up to it.  It was 6 weeks for me before I could even see well enough to type.  My Molly left me at Thanksgiving last year and I am still having meltdowns.  Ii wish I could tell you it will go away soon, but for most of us that isn't the case.

I can tell you that I know my Molly was there to meet your Frosty and show him around.  Molly never met an "enemy", she loved everyone.  Take care.
Birthday photo.JPG 
janice
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FrostysMom
Beaglemomma,

As everyone else's comments, thank you SO very much! Yes, I am a single mom, and losing Frosty is as losing my furry four pawed child. Your Molly is so gorgeous. You can see her soul through her eyes. The thought of Frosty and Molly playing, brings happiness to my thoughts.

I feel like because it's been a week (today), people expect I should be over it. In reality, I'm just starting, to comprehend it, and work through it. I can't believe...today is a week

I am so sincerely sorry for your loss. You and your Molly are very much in my thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely,
FrostysMom
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andrcom
So sorry for your loss. My pal Scruffy passed Jan 7th and while the pain is muted the loss is as real as yesterday. The moments he is on my mind are endless. Fortunately for him it went fast. For me its quite painful to remember him in the final moment when he had basically stopped being him self. The groaning, The lack of control in his eyes and legs. It really hurts that I dont forget those moments and remember the spirited little trouble maker he always was! Thats the way I loved him! P7020001.JPG 


Andy
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jimmy17
Frostysmom, I am so very sorry for your loss, the love you had for him shows so much in every word you write.  It sounds like Frosty had an amazing life with you and your little boy - its just heartbreaking when we have to let them go. I lost my 17 year old dog Jim 15 weeks ago, he deteriorated so fast and we had no choice other than to have him put to sleep. I stayed with him holding him and stroking him - the hardest thing I`ve ever done. Learning to live without them is equally as hard - Jim`s ashes are here with me on the sofa, and I`ve still got all his things around the house. I only hoovered the car a few weeks ago, as some of his fur was still there from his last ever trip. 
 Be kind to yourself, it takes time, but you will start to remember all the good times the 3 of you shared. I know all our animals are over the Bridge, just waiting for the time we are together again. This site is truly wonderful, friends and family don`t really get how much we loved our little friends, and some do think we shouldn`t be so upset over an animal, but everyone totally understands on here. 
              Sending you peace and hugs,  Jackie. P1290040320x260.jpg 
J Taylor
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mimis_mommy
Oh dear my heart breaks for you. I said goodbye to my dear fur baby last week. I know exactly how you are feeling. I keep replaying the last moments in my mind. Having to put her down was the hardest decision I had to make. I wanna say it wil get easier. However it's only been a week for me and it feels like yesterday. Take comfort in knowing that your dear friend isn't suffering and you will see him again someday.
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Kayallen46
I know it's so hard to understand and believe your beloved baby has gone we go over and over again and again trying to make sense of it I took my rosie to the vet last Tuesday the 22nd of March she was in a lot of pain at home for a few days I thought I have to take her so off we went and like you I didn't bring my baby home am so sad I can't eat sleep I'm hurting so much my heart broken
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