Jesus
Currently 1:07 AM at the time of typing this. I have one of these sudden waves of anguish that come every now and then that rip my heart straight out of my chest. I miss my doggie so much, it’s not fair, I only had her 11 months. I have always loved dogs but my place isn’t very big and we have no yard so my family was always reluctant to get a dog, but she, she gave us no choice. I was always the first to leave to work and the first to come home, day came when I realized there was this little super scruffy looking dog with a snaggle tooth out in my driveway. We had a van we didn’t move for a year that she chose to hide in out of the 20ish homes on the block. It wouldnt be the first time a neighbors dog got loose so no one wanted me to feed her when i mentioned a doggie in our driveway. I didnt listen, she was so so scared the smallest sound scared her off, took me and my girlfriend constant feeding and almost 2 weeks of coaxing to get her in our arms. We took her to the vet and got her in good shape, she was only 2 years old. She gave us the best 11 months of our lives but It hit me the hardest as she was my world. Im not a parent but to her I was. She made us all so happy and we all spoiled her so much. She was scared of EVERYTHING, people who had her must’ve abused her because she was most timid, especially of men and so then for her to trust me to most, meant so much to me, I was her protector and she was mine. I love her. Next month she would’ve turned “3” and we had a little party planned for her, something that saddens me, I dont know how Ill feel when that day comes. She was perfect in every way, so well behaved, trained, goofy and playful. The day that she passed I wasn’t even supposed to see her because I was out but things sorted themselves out so I was able to accompany my girlfriend and sister to her grooming appointment. I knew she hated the groomers but I still took her so and I blame myself so much for it, not even 1 hour from when I dropped her off when i recieve a frantic call from the groomer that she collapsed and that he was taking her to the vet and for me to please meet him there. She passed before I got there. How? How was it possible that my best friend was right there next to me when I woke up already wagging her tail and now there she lay lifeless? I felt my world collapse around me. I feel like I failed her. Right after I dropped her off I remember telling telling my girlfriend we should take grooming lessons so we can groom her ourselves. Vet told us she had a heart attack most likely from anxiety. I know I shouldn’t blame myself because I would have never done anything to harm her, but the feelings are still there. It has been close to 2 weeks now and things are getting better, but a lot of the time I have to PRETEND im okay and continue smiling because everyone is worried about me since they know how close we both were. Sorry for the long message folks, wish you all going through the same or worst the best. And to Pulgita my friend, I love you and I hope to see you in heaven when my time comes, but until then, please continue to look out for us all from above, because I know there is a special place for our companions like you somewhere up there.
Quote 1 0
Pisiciul
So sorry to hear your heartbreaking story about Pulgita. As a matter of fact, it sounds similar to what happened to my boy, as the stress of a visit at the vet made his little heart stop and I blame myself. You took your girl to grooming but planning on reducing the stress in the future. I took my boy to the vet as he was loosing weight and, at 17 years of age, that's a bad sign. Also tried to reduce stress and didn't let anyone touch him except me and my husband. Still, it was the last straw for our furry child and he left us a little later, once we got home. Please believe me, it makes no difference if it's home or elsewhere, if you are with them or away - the pain you feel is the same. 

The problem is that a weak heart is going to stop at any time and there's never a "better" time. It is easier for me to tell you this than for myself to accept it. But we are all in grief here and we all understand the pain. We only manage it differently.

May you find strength and peace in your heart. Hugs
Pisiciul
Quote 0 0
Heartbroken73
Sorry to hear of your loss you sound like a really great person and daddy cuz that's what we all become when we're bonded like that it is the most precious thing and feel sorry for those who don't get that or never do..You did and all you said came from a good place and that is what you need to always remember tho I struggle with that and having regret as well..I lost my buddy last week and it has been very hard so I know how you feel and if it offers some solace just know your not alone in how you feel.. I'd love to share my story sometime and hear more about yours I have yet been able to put into words my story of me and him so I mostly post just emotions and feelings he brought me.. This place has at least helped some in releasing that and not feeling alone in what I carry.. Thanks for sharing and I am sorry for your loss just know your not alone in carrying something very heavy or having people that really understand.. 
George king
Quote 0 0