Darkdrium
We got Spikey 10 years and 2 months ago (February 2008) when he was 6-7 months old. I was 14. It wasn't my decision to get a dog and I was against it, even at 14, I knew that there would be one day where I will have to deal with loss and it just happened less than 5 hours ago. But I'm glad we gave Spikey a comfortable shelter, food and our love. It was a noble thing to do.

Spikey started to show signs of an ailing dog March last year when he started coughing more than he should, we brought him to the vet and found out that his heart is failing. So throughout that year, we had many appointments with the vet and endless prescription of medications for his heart, and he was warded in a few times as well.

It only started to get worse at the start of this year and we knew his death was impending. It was January 6 when he was warded in again and he was in critical condition at that time, but they managed to stabilize him enough to be discharged a week later and he seemed back to his old happy self, although the coughing didn't stop as it has been occurring since March last year. 

2 weeks after his discharge, he was warded in again due to breathing difficulties.. at that point of time, the vet told us that he was at the advanced stage of congestive heart failure and there was nothing much we can do about it other than to make him as comfortable as possible.. again, he discharged after being stabilized. 

For the next 1.5 months, he was at home with us, his condition seemed to be the same as before but didn't show any visible signs of rapid deterioration until last last Friday (6th April) where he started having difficulty breathing again, but it was worse this time. So we sent him to the vet last Monday and we were told that his time is limited and that they recommend that he is to be put to sleep but we objected because we couldn't bear to take his life away with a stroke of a pen. 

We decided to bring him home as his time was limited and we wanted to spend our last moments with him, I cried so much on that day as I already knew his end was impending.. I couldn't concentrate at work. His last one week, he showed signs of dying. He would lie down all day and not responding to us as he used to. He also stopped eating, drinking, and even if he did eat, he will puke his food out eventually. This continued on until this morning...

This morning I woke up, he was just lying flat on the ground, refusing to do anything at all, I thought it's the usual signs he exhibited for the last 5-6 days.. then we found out that he lost his ability to walk in his last few hours of his life and he started whining (although softly) and we knew he was in pain. That was then we decided to take him to the vet to put him to sleep.

As we were leaving the house for the vet, each of us carried and hugged him for one last time, and just before we left, he slowly faded away and died while my mom was carrying him. 

We will be cremating him tomorrow and I am taking leave tomorrow as I cannot see myself at work. I do not know how to describe the pain I am going through, but the fact that he was our first dog and we had him for a long 10 years and how attached I am to Spikey is enough details.

I am a very sensitive person and I am not used to dealing with loss. I lost my grandpa and grandma but I never cried that much because I only see them once a week (or less sometimes) and they had such a long fulfilling 92 (and 98 years). But when my beloved Spikey died today, I felt so much pain and I don't know how I am going to move on from here..

I do have photos of him but I do not wish to view them now, let alone post them here as it will only make it more painful for me. Also, I have a Golden Retriever (Ace) who is turning 8 in August and now he is all I got and I want to make him as comfortable as possible too.
Darren
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peachesdad
Hi Darren. Your story about Spikey is almost exactly like mine about my ten and a half year old, love of my life, Peaches. She was a five and a half pound chihuahua. March of last year she went into respiratory arrests. I rushed her to her vet and was told she too had congested heart disease. He put her on meds and for a month she had good days and bad days. Then late one night she started having trouble breathing again. I had to take her 60 miles to a 24 hour emergency center as her vet was closed. She had to stay two days while a heart specialist adjusted her dosage and started on additional meds. 

Through the months the dosage was increased to the maximum. Last December she started having fainting seizures when she got excited but would recover like nothing ever happened. The evening of January 16 all was well. She ate a good supper, took her meds and was resting. She got up and was running through the house when she collapsed.Five minuets later she took her last breath in my arms. I have her ashes in the bedroom and still talk to her like she's here with me.

I believe we will see our little loved ones someday, that's what keeps me going. I'm sure Peaches and Spikey are having fun at the rainbow bridge. Our reunion will be so great.

Hang in there. The pain fades but NEVER goes away. Our babies will always be with us.
tim
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Darkdrium
Hi Tim. Thank you very much for your response and for sharing about Peaches, especially when her situation is so similar to Spikey. It is sad that our beloved furries had such short lives. They deserve a lot more than human beings, after all we never bear any grudges on our pets because all they do is give us their unconditional love, unlike human friends where likely a majority of them will leave your life at some point.

God bless Peaches, even though she had a short life like Spikey. She was so blessed to have an owner like you. She couldn’t have found a better home, just like how glad for our family to have the chance to give Spikey an amazing home. I do hope they both are at a better place which is rainbow bridge now. As much as we would want them to be back, we would rather not see them suffer here.

I am still at a state of shock and Spikey’s passing will probably hit me harder in the next few days to come, and I will be back at work on Tuesday... I hope time will heal. You are right to say that the pain will never go away because I can never imagine that will happen but I do believe it gets better, but I am not remotely near there yet.

Our neighbour had a chihuahua named Coco who died in September 2015 when she was 9. Our neighbour would often bring coco over (we would refer her as Spikey’s Girlfriend), they two absolutely loved each other. I remember when we just moved into the neighbourhood and the first time coco met spikey. Spikey ran into the house (out of shyness) and then as time passes he slowly opened up and looked forward to seeing Coco. I hope they meet each other in rainbow bridge now.. love them so much. :(

Photo of spikey is attached (taken 2 months ago)
Darren
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Chinadoll
Darren, I'm so sorry for your loss, I know how difficult this can be. It is so evident reading your post how much love and what a strong bond you and Spikey had. I lost my China Doll (small Chihuahua) a year ago to Congestive Heart Failure and then my little terrier Nicky to the same disease 3 months later. China Doll was 10 and Nicky was 17. We did everything we could, just like you did, but sadly CHF is not curable, you can only try to make them comfortable in the late stages. My heart goes out to you, this grief can be unlike anything else we have ever experienced, and it takes awhile to get back on our feet. Things will improve slowly but there is no time table, we each grieve as we may. I offer you my blessings and I'm glad you came here to this forum, there are so many people who can be helpful during these times ahead. The picture of Spikey is wonderful.
Charlie
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Darkdrium
Charlie, thank you for your kind words. I am glad too that I discovered this forum as this is an avenue I can express my grief. Nobody seems to understand that losing a pet is as painful, or sometimes more painful than a human relative. My dad thinks I am ridiculous for crying so much over "a dog". I cried many times over Spikey, even before his death because I knew his time was near. I know my dad doesn't want to see me crippled over Spikey but he doesn't understand that everyone grieves differently, but there's no doubt he loves Spikey as much as I do just that he knows how to deal with death (my Dad is 69 so he's been through many deaths).

Nicky is so lucky to live to a ripe old age of 17, but I can also imagine that long time you had with Nicky would mean that the pain of losing Nicky is more intense. Your story of China Doll is so similar to mine, he also died at pretty much the same age as Spikey (10 years 8 months). CHF is indeed a crippling illness and I wish we could do more, but I know we did what we had to do to give Spikey such a comfortable life. I believe Spikey had more happier days than sad days. He was such a big part of my life, after-all I grew up with him from a young teenager at 14 to an adult (24).

I sincerely hope that things will improve, but at the moment I will grief as much as I want to and nobody is going to stop me or tell me I can't. God bless China Doll and Nicky. 
Darren
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Graceful
Hello Darren,
I want to extend my condolences on the passing of your beloved chihuahua, Spikey. You sound like a wonderful, loving, caring soul, and I hope you come to this forum to grieve because you will find support and understanding here. We all share the same sentiments, we love our pets just as we love a human being.

My family had a Chihuahua named KoKoMo, KoKo for her nickname, when I was growing up. I loved her dearly, she was light brown/tan, with white markings. We live in a cold climate in the winter, so she had little sweaters and coats to wear when we walked her. She was the light of my life. Alas, she was Daddy's little girl, and seemed to bond the most with my Dad. But she loved all of us, and she had a fun and loving life. I've always had a soft spot in my heart for the chihuahua breed because of my own experience. The photo you posted is darling!

I came here a while back because of the passing of my sweet, funny, absolutely irresistible kitty, whose name is Twirlie. Sadly, he had pancreatic cancer and at least we had some time to say goodbye, but it was devastating, as you know, and I will always miss him. He was truly my soul kitty.

Sending you many gentle b!essings, Darren, and may the colors of the rainbow surround Spikey as he makes his way to the Bridge. I know for sure he will be welcomed, and watching over you. ☺
In support, and with a caring heart,
Grace and Twirlie

"Now that the time has come
 Soon gone is the day,
 There upon some distant shore
 You will hear me say,
 Long as the day in the summer time
 Deep as the wine-dark sea,
 I'll keep your heart with mine
 Till you come to me"  (LM)

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Darkdrium
Thank you for your condolences Grace. My neighbor had a chihuahua name Coco (a black chihuahua) too whom Spikey loved. When Coco passed away, Spikey still waited for Coco to appear at the gate :(, but as time passed he moved on.
I hope they meet each other again in Rainbow Bridge.
Darren
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Nellysmom
Darren, I am so sorrry for your loss. I lost my beloved beagle, Nelly, on Wednesday. Almost exactly four days ago to the minute. I feel like my grief is being rushed by everyone in my life, including my husband, who seemed extremely sad the first few days as well. I am told to get out of the house, go out to eat, throw yourself into you work, etc. i barely have an appetite. I keep picturing her final moments over and over in my head. I long to kiss her and hold her again. She was with me for 12 of her 15 years and she was my best friend.
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Darkdrium
Nellysmom wrote:
Darren, I am so sorrry for your loss. I lost my beloved beagle, Nelly, on Wednesday. Almost exactly four days ago to the minute. I feel like my grief is being rushed by everyone in my life, including my husband, who seemed extremely sad the first few days as well. I am told to get out of the house, go out to eat, throw yourself into you work, etc. i barely have an appetite. I keep picturing her final moments over and over in my head. I long to kiss her and hold her again. She was with me for 12 of her 15 years and she was my best friend.

Tell me about it. I dread going back to work tomorrow. But staying in the house is also depressing because every corner of the house I look at, I am immediately reminded of Spikey. You are told to get out of the house/be at work because they think that it will keep your mind occupied because every second you spend at home you will miss Nelly's presence, but no matter where you are, you'll think of your beloved furbaby every second. We are on the same boat now, I can't see myself getting out of the house.
Sorry about Nelly... I'm sure each and every one of our furbabies were happy to be part of our family no matter how long/short their lives are. 

Darren
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Mackysmum
I just replied to your reply on my post
I just wanted to say your Spikey is gorgeous
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COOKIES4
DARIN SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT SPIKEY. YOU WERE THER3 FOR HIM AND HE PASSED IN YOUR MOM'S ARMS. THERE'S NO TIMETABLE FOR GRIEVING FIR YOUR FUR BABY. WE LOST OUR SPARKY PRECIOUS COCKATIEL FEATHER BABY FOUR MONTHS AGO TODAY,APRIL 28, 2018. HE PASSED AT THE AGE OF 28 YEARS TEN AND ONE HALF MONTHS. I AGREE, I LOST GRANDPARENTS, MOM'S D DAD AND BECAUSE OF THE LENGTH OF TIME PETS ARE,WITH US, ESPECIALLY BIRDS WHO HAVE LONGEVITY . HE WAS IN THE PARROT FAMILY. SPIKEY WAS YOUR CHILD, YOUR BABY, LIFE IS NOT FAIR. SPIKEY IS RESTING AND WAS BLESSED TO HAVE YOU IN HIS LIFE.
PRAYERS
NOT YELLING LOW VISION
JOAN AND JIM SPARKY'S MOMMY AND DADDY
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