lizarose1 Show full post »
lizarose1
MJ, 

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I read your post and Bailey was such a fine looking dog! His temperament seemed a whole lot like my Titan. Titan was such a happy little guy spreading joy everywhere he went. He loved everyone, especially children. He just wanted to be loved on. During our neighborhood walks he would stop by each person that he saw just to get a pet and kind word. It was his purpose to make others feel good. Titan had a tough start. He was found living under an abandoned school bus with his mom and brothers and sisters. Titan was adopted out but returned because he had mange. When I adopted him he was almost four months old. The mange turned out to be stress related and once we got it cured it never came back. 

On Thanksgiving I took some of Titan's ashes and went to the walking trail. The trail is beautifully wooded and is so lovely in the fall. We loved to hike the trail together so I thought this might be a nice place for his ashes. I was hoping for a sign from Titan that he was with me but I didn't get one. Still and all I'm glad that I did it. We must be on the same wavelength because I also ordered some bulbs to plant in my backyard. The ground is still really soft here and the weather is unseasonably mild for this time of year. There is a special spot that Titan liked to hangout and I will plant the bulbs there using some of his ashes. In the spring it will be comforting to see the bulbs grow and flower. Thursday will be one month without my little guy. I truly miss his loving spirit in my home. Life is different now. There is an emptiness that I cannot fill. I try to stay busy but some days I feel paralyzed, almost frozen in time. I still haven't put his bed away or removed any of his things. I just don't want to forget what it was like to have him in my life. I should feel relieved that I can come and go whenever I want and I don't have to rush home to tend to my dog but I would give anything for even one more day to spend with him. 
Quote 0 0
Bailey15
Hi lizarose,
I know this must be a sad day for you thinking of your beautiful Titan. I'm sure it's hard to believe it's been one month already! These anniversaries are so difficult as they bring back all of the painful memories.
Thank you so much for your kind words about Bailey! I just read what you wrote about Titan's temperament and he definitely does sound so much like Bailey; always wanting to make people happy, and so glad to be acknowledged and petted by neighbors - or people we met.
I am so happy you adopted Titan! I can't believe anyone would return him ....how awful! As it turns out though, it was his good fortune because then he was adopted by you!
I think your idea to spread Titan's ashes on his favourite walking trail is a lovely one. It's also so nice that you can still plant the bulbs because it will really be something to look forward to in the spring! I'll bet they will look beautiful!! 💙
I understand what you mean about being able to come and go without worrying about leaving Titan. After Bailey died, I would also have given anything to 'have to be home at a certain time' if it meant I would see his beautiful face again. I'm so sorry you have to go through this!! Thinking of you (and your beautiful boy) on this one month anniversary and sending hugs,
MJ 🤗
Quote 0 0
lizarose1
2017 comes to a close and I have learned to stay busy to keep from being lonely for my Titan. Christmas was not the same without my boy but I pushed through for my grandchildren. Sadly, I still have his bed and toys as they were the day he passed on over rainbow bridge to a better place. I am hopeful that we will meet again when my time comes. I planted some spring bulbs in his special place in the backyard. I scattered some of his ashes in with the bulbs. Hopefully they will bloom when the time is right as a gentle reminder of my love for my precious friend...that is if the squirrels don't dig them all up and eat them. I carry Titan's leash with me in my purse. Nobody knows about that. Sometimes I still cry when I am alone mostly when I am driving home from work so I keep my tissues in the drink holder. I've thought a lot about this loss and all that Titan meant to me. Perhaps my dependence on him for love was too much to put on a dog. I almost feel a bit pathetic for not being able to relate to people in the same way and I'm going to work on that in 2018. To everyone on this site, I wish you peace and love and I hope you find some comfort in the memories that you have of your perfect love from your beloved pet. I thank you for providing me and others with a non-judgmental place to grieve our losses. A big 2018 cheers to my Titan! There will never be another like you!
Quote 0 0
Bailey15
Hi lizarose,
I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. I think everyone on this forum understands and we all realize how amazing our babies really were. Please don't feel badly that you don't relate to people in the same way. We get such pure, unconditional love and loyalty from our beautiful friends and it's just different from what we experience with people so it really is devastating to have to let them go.
If it feels good to carry Titan's leash in your purse, I would continue to do so. I think that we need to do whatever will bring us some comfort in the midst of this awful pain.
I hope that the bulbs you planted for Titan will turn out beautifully next spring - I have a sneaking suspicion that they will. Such a sweet idea and it will be a wonderful place where you can go to feel close to your boy.
Thank you for your beautiful wish for 2018! Wishing you peace as well and hoping that the memories of your beautiful Titan will bring you comfort.
Sending hugs,
MJ
Quote 0 0