As I write this I'm already in tears with a broken heart. My blue nose pitbull passed away this past Sunday. Man I love that dog. It all started with him walking a small limp in the couple of days before Sunday. The family thought maybe it was just because it's starting to get cold now. I got my dog in 2008. I literally found him in the streets and decided to take him in. He couldn't have been more than 2 years old when I found him. Anyways so now with age and the cold we thought that was the reason for the limp. On Friday my wife noticed his stomach was very inflated and big. I told her I would keep an eye on it and will see if he gets better. Then Sunday night came around. I noticed the stomach as well and told my family we should take him in the emergency vet. It kills me because something told me he was not going to come back. My mother was already in tears just feeling bad for him. I never said out loud that I wish I told everyone he might not come back. But did not want to bring my family's spirits down. When we got to the vet of course Smokey could not walk so we carried him in. As we sat in the room they told us about the procedures of checking his fluid and what not. The vet was actually way better than I thought and gave us multiple routes and options to go about but I ultimately knew deep down inside what was going to happen. Ultimately my beautiful boy was facing liver failure. The vet told me the limp was the least of my worries. He then let us have our last goodbyes with Smokey. This is what kind of kills me, the minute he came back in the room I burst loud into tears. I hugged him and told him how much I loved him and how much I would miss him. I told the family I think they should not be there when he actually goes to sleep. Im not sure if I regret this or not but this does haunt me from time to time. It also kills me If I should have asked if we can bring him home one more time but I didn't ask. I then somehow someway got the strength to tell them we are ready. I wish I would have held him and stayed with him longer. They came to put him on a table and took him somewhere else. And that was that. We decided to have him cremated but I'm still upset if I should have been there when they put him down since they put him on a rolling table still awake when he left the room. I always think of the good memories that he left us but I'm just emotionally destroyed I will never physically hold him or touch him again. The worse part of course is the next day of seeing the empty bed and not seeing my beautiful dog. I love you Smokey and I will always have you in my heart.
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I am so sorry for your loss. Smokey was such a handsome looking boy. It was wonderful that you rescued him from the streets and gave him a loving home and a happy life! It's so obvious that he was happy from the beautiful pictures you posted, especially the second one where he looks like he is smiling. ❤️
Animals always seem to know when it is time to leave so I think that Smokey likely knew it was his time. He also knew how much you loved him and it was good that you were able to hug him and tell him that. I know how difficult it is seeing his empty bed afterward. I put my Bailey's bed away but then I took it back out again because I felt better with it being there. I think you need to do whatever feels right for you and be extra kind to yourself during this sad time. Thinking of you and wishing you peace,
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He was a beautiful dog, and I know he was grateful to have had the life you gave him. Our pets don't feel regret or "what if's" like we do, so please don't worry that anything you did was wrong. He knows you loved him, and that's what matters. I am very sorry for your loss. I had to euthanize my 12 1/2 year old Doberman, Paris, on Oct 29th. We did it at home, which was a luxury I am extremely grateful for. She layed with her head on my lap, because that was the way that was right for her. I sometimes think maybe I could have waited, but deep down, I know it was the best choice. You made the best choice for Smokey.
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Oh my, what a beautiful boy your Smokey is!  I am so sorry for your loss and for the grief you feel right now.  It's not unusual for any of to play the "what ifs" over and over again in our heads.  I know I did when I had to make the decision with my Gigi - is it really time, can she manage another week, and so on.  But intellectually I think we all know when it's time to let them go - it's just that emotionally we are racked with guilt and self doubt.  And I know we do it out of love for them because we don't want them to suffer after they have given us a life of love.  I try to focus on the good times and quite honestly, sometime that helps and sometimes, not so much.  But Smokey knew how much you loved him, even til the end.  And Smokey is waiting at Rainbow Bridge for you - he is happy and healthy once again - just waiting,,,, My deepest sympathies for your loss.  Best regards, Alicia
My warmest regards,  Carmen's and Gigi's mom - alicia
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Smokey was beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss and can relate so much. I too had to make the hardest decision I have ever made in my life, to but my sweet baby boy Opie B to sleep. His physical issues were with his back legs and really came on very quickly. I too had to let him go on Sunday night. I too struggle with the thought about should I have done more, should I have taken him home to spend more time with him, should have I have noticed something earlier. My opie b was alot like your Smokey it seems (but much smaller, a 17 pound wiener dog). But we found him 7 years ago in the shelter.  I struggled on Monday too with the empty bed, and all the things that were him. I miss him so much and I know you miss your Smokey. I pray for you to find peace and I ask you do the same for me. Oddly though, as U write this, I am finding some peace that my Opie B and your Smokey might have gone to the rainbow bridge together and might be fast friends by now. See that is my biggest fear, who will take care of him, who will hold him, whose's lap will he sit on. He wont know anyone. I hope Smokey and Opie are laying in the sun as we speak. I hope that helps. 

Take care, 
Opie B's mama 
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