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camunki

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Reply with quote  #31 
thanks Jackie...yes I try to focus on the happier times, yet tears still fall each day as they should cuz this is so new only 11 days so far, but how fast time flies.

Just like your Jim my Jemma hated the fireworks and yes, this past July 4th was her last celebration (we don't have fireworks here at Halloween, just on July 4th)

And yes, Rosalyn is a love, her sweet kisses each day melts my heart, she licks the tears off my face, but she still does not seem to wonder where Jemma is..........Rosalyn is in full puppy mode, always slapping that tail, wagging so hard, she is all love and happiness, yet i hope she does miss Jemma, they were best buds for 8 months.

I hung a picture today of Jemma on the wall, i took 4 pics from being a baby to being 11 y/o up on the wall, and that brings a smile to my face.

The "urn" and other things....will just take time for me, I am happy with Jemma just sitting on my nightstand for now.

Thanks for the postitive feedback Jackie, it means alot!

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MyBella

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Reply with quote  #32 
Hi Cam,
 
Where do I start....First I am so, so , so sorry for the losses of your precious Jemma, Munki and Daizy, the photos you have posted of them are so beautiful, so wonderful to see each of them, they truly are such beautiful photos. The baby photo of Munki, well what can one say, she is absolutely adorable and so beautiful all at once. The way you carried her when she went blind is a true testament to your love and devotion to your girl. I did the same for Bella when she went blind as well, even though she still found her way on her own, I understand how we want nothing but for our girls to be safe, like you I was always making sure I was alert for her footsteps in case she needed help. 
When I first read your post about losing your Jemma so closely to when you lost Munki and Daizy, It truly was heartbreaking to read, I wanted to reach out to you, but I wanted to write the most perfect words to you, something that would somehow help you, to make you feel better, but those words just wouldn't come to me, are there really such words that can help someone who has lost three of their loved girls in such a short time, while I should have written something....anything, I just didn't know what to say, how to say it, where does one even start. But you, you have reached out to so many while your own heart is torn apart, you have given so much support to others and that tells me not only what a wonderful person you are but what a wonderful and loving Mom you are to your girls.
I wish you nothing but the most beautiful memories of your girls, may the loving and fun times you shared with them somehow help bring even a little peace and healing to your heart and soul. May you feel the love your precious girls surround you with each and every day, may that love bring with it the peace you desire and so deserve.
Thank you so much for your wonderful and supportive words on Bella's thread, I truly appreciate that you took the time to do so.
Sending my most positive healing thoughts your way, thank you for being such a wonderful person, one who is a true example of strength.
 
Sincerely Don & Vera

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camunki

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Reply with quote  #33 
Don & Vera thank you so much for you kindest of words. I had to reach out to your Bella, her thread has been going on for quite some time and the love for her by you & your family and the kind people here that keep the thread going, may her legacy live on!

As for my Munki, yes she started going blind at the young age of 9 1/2 y/o....with her losing more and more of her sight as time passed on. I decided in the fall of 2013 when i used to put her outside, she would always find her way back up the stairs, but suddenly she could not find her way....that is when i made the choice, just to make her life easier, to pick her up each time and take her down the steps and just be with her when she went outside up to 5x a day.....and yes, I had to pick her up to take her in the car for her daily walks at the park, oooh how she loved going to the park. To this day I still cannot go back to "that" park and walk, cuz too many memories and too many tears come....I have driven "by" the park and each time i do i cry up a storm. I will someday go back, just not now. And Munki had the whole living room for herself, she knew where the coffee table was and did a couple of bumps into walls and what not, but i always kepts a close eye on her. I used to call her "bumbles" cuz she would bump into things on occasion. I even put a blindfold over my eyes and tried to picture what her world would be, and I didn't like it. Yet, Munki was a strong girl even though she could not she, she loved life, people, walking, eating was her favorite! I miss her so much.

And yes Don and Vera, 2015 and 2016 have been by far tough years for me with losing my girls. Each time i would heal it seemed another darling pet would pass and i would go thru the same agony again. Now with grieiving my Jemma, coming home at night is by far the worst, that is when it hits my heart, missing her kisses, missing her moving the vertical blinds when I pull up to the driveway.

And my sweet Daizy, on Jan 2nd of 2017 will be 2 years and I miss her so, I think of her often, and wish she lived longer than her 9 years and 3 weeks. Seems like Fall/Winter months are not good for me. Losing Jemma in Oct, Munki in Dec 2015 and Daizy in Jan 2015....somehow i just don't look forward to those months, especially around the holidays.

And Don & Vera, you both have a heart of gold and so much love for your Bella, as she is now your guardian angel above, still with you still loving you and still so happy you are letting her legacy live on. You are both strong, wonderful parents who care to the deepest of your souls, for the love you have of your Bella it shows.

Thanks again for your kind words............as we always seem to be walking on this path of grief, someday I know my tears will turn to a smile for all my precious babies Daizy, Munki and now Jemma......they will forever be talked to daily and loved forever, til my time on earth is over and we meet again.

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BeachieGirl33

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Reply with quote  #34 
Cam - I am so, so sorry that Jemma went to the Rainbow Bridge.  I  had read your posts and had hoped she would get better.  When I read that she was gone, my heart sank and I hurt for you.  I had meant to post sooner but I haven't posted on the forum in a while.  I still come on to read about the ones I know but I guess I am in a different place now as far as grieving goes.  It still hurts so, so much but I tend to keep my thoughts to my self more now.  I have followed your posts though and know you have had more than your share of hurt and grief this past year.  Just doesn't seem fair.  Our babies don't deserve to be sick and hurt.  They bring us so much love and joy.  I guess it's just life, huh?  Doesn't make it any easier though.  Any way, my thoughts and prayers go out to you.  I hope you will be able to have some peace of mind, someday, someway. 

Hugs ...
Betty
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camunki

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Reply with quote  #35 
thanks Betty, I am going on 4 weeks this Friday and don't know where the time goes.....seems like Jemma was with me yesterday. 

My biggest thing is having all my babies circulate thru my head, yes 21 months losing 3 babies is alot. Now when I think of Jemma, i often wonder why did this happen? It was out of my control, but I miss and love her so much. Coming home at night is the very hardest, seeing the spots on the rug hurt the most. I am glad i was able to spend my last night at home with her, on the floor, and am thankful that she did live another 3 days after this. I guess i have so much "clogging" my mind right now, I feel like I am back in that zombie stage, just going thru the motions.....i set my alarm to wake up and reset it for an extra hour of sleep, cuz my sleeping has not been too well lately.

I enjoy going for my walks with my rescue Rosalyn, being out in the fresh air helps so much, and having Rosalyn is a true blessing for me and I am thankful that i adopted her, I just never realized that I would lose Jemma anytime soon, she was happy, healthy and such a good Rotti over 11 years old, which i guess is an above average life span for her, most Rotties only live 8 to 10 years.

I am just trying to get thru each day, the tears fall, the sadness is there, the holidays are coming up but I am not all too festive and happy, since i have so many losses right around the "holidays" but that is ok. I talk to my Jemma, Munki and Daizy each day and let them know how much they are loved. I pick up their ashes each day and gently kiss the plastic wrapping around them. I keep my connection with God each day and let Him know that I miss my babies and have the belief that they are all well and alive. This is one thing that keeps me sane, and in the best of spirits.

Thank you again Betty for reaching out......for now I walk this path of grieving which i know of all too well, but i will do it baby step by baby step....knowing that someday these tears will turn into a smile for all the great memories i have had.

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CKMP

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Reply with quote  #36 
Cam
I am so so sorry. . . I do not know what to say. . . I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Jemma. The road is one you have walked before unfortunately and the love you have shared with Munki, Daizy and Jemma is boundless and endless I know. Your heart is broken, your sorrow deep and so many tears they will feel an ocean. There is not only a sadness but you are saddened within your soul, I know. . . The loss of our special ones shakes us to our core, and changes who we are. While we are so changed when sharing time and life with them and for having known them - we are again changed when we say goodbye.
There is never a time we are prepared. . . And each gentle soul is unique, each uniquely tied to your heart with those silken threads so close, so strong. Jemma, like Munki and Daizy were blessed to have found you as you them, just as Rosalyn is still. Nothing is easy, that old fog has come rolling back marking the dark shadows in the days - Grief, loss and coming to live with it. . . Do we really ever? Holidays, birthdays, each and every day are just not "right" or " special" without them. It seems, it just is what it is.,
I so wish I had words to ease that ache Cam, I am just so so sorry. You have lost so much in such a short period of time. Your words have eased the desperate moments and brought such comfort in terrible moments - I hope for the words and support here from so many give you that second of comfort too. Know my tears also fall for those you have lost, special pups bringing light, joy and a sense of purpose to your life. Know within Jemma, Munki and Daizy love you so deeply, so purely and so for always there can never be a separation! They walk with you and Rosalyn, listen to your voice, hear your heart, and gently nudge you with those paws of comfort leaving signs you are not alone.
You are so loved by your special ones. Munki, Daizy and Jemma. . . You are much loved-
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LUCYLULU

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Reply with quote  #37 
Hi Cam~  Just thinking of you. Stopping by to stay thank you for your words. I am always in awe of how you can reach out to so many people while grieving your Jemma...and Munki & Daizy. I hope that today is a day of many signs from your girls. I know you wish they were right there with you & Rosalyn. That you could feel them, stroke them, have them close. But as you know, you can keep talking them them. Then when the signs come, I hope they give you a moment of comfort. So much loss...but also so much love. The love will endure because your connections are so strong. Hugs, Kasey
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sarab

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Reply with quote  #38 
Your pups were so fortunate to have you in their lives and I can tell you loved them so dearly.  The fact that you lost all of them so close together is heart-breaking and as strong as you are for enduring this, no one should have to experience this hardship in such close sequence.  I'm heart-broken for you and can only imagine tripling my pain of losing Teddy by 3.  It just seems so unfair to you.  I pray for your healing, peace and strength.
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camunki

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Reply with quote  #39 
Thank you for your kind words, i try to get thru each day the best that I can.

The walking helps alot, that is when i do all my "talking" to Jemma, Munki and Daizy, I miss them all so much.

CKMP, thanks for your kind words, we've been posting on these boards for quite some time, same too for Kasey, been on these boards for a while...as for Sarah, I am sure this is all fresh and new for you with your Teddy and posting here does help so much.

 lets just picture and know that our babies, Jemma, Munki, Daizy, Maggs, Lucy & Teddy are having a fun time up at that bridge, always connected to our core, our souls, forever in our hearts and always on our minds..... may you all have a blessed day!

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BeachieGirl33

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Reply with quote  #40 
Cam - Thinking of you today and hoping you can find some peace when you go out for your walk with Rosalyn.  She is lucky to have you and you her.  The holidays are going to be so hard but God will get us through.  We just have to be thankful for what we do have and know that one day we will be back together with all our babies at the Rainbow Bridge.  Thank you for your kind words on Little and Batman's thread.  It means a lot to know that you care.  Take care of yourself and always know that Jemma, Munki, and Daisy are with you always!

Hugs ...
Betty
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CKMP

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Reply with quote  #41 
Cam,

Just wondering how you and Rosalyn are doing?  Have been thinking of you knowing another goodbye is tugging at your heart and mind.  How is Rosalyn doing without Jemma?  You are always there with words that provide support, understanding and care for others despite your own grief and losses.  We have been on this forum for a while and I have come to peace with the notion that it takes the time it takes - and if it takes forever, it takes forever.  Our special ones lives deserve the celebration, the dignity and the honour with which they graced ours.  Always remember you are so loved by Jemma, Munki and Daizy -each day and with each word spoken to them they too are reminded of how loved your girls are.  Rosalyn plays a special role for all now - Bonds are strong and endure - loyalty and love are never lost.  Seeing Munki, Daizy, Jemma, Teddy, Lucy and Maggs lined up waiting, watching, snacking, playing, running  and keeping a forever 'cautious eye' on Batman and Little!
Wishing you some calm, some peace and forever dreams of happy moments.
Take care - hug for you and a pet for Rosalyn too.
  
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Jody

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Reply with quote  #42 
Hey Cam, just thinking of you and all your furbabies that are over the bridge with my baby. Hoping that you are finding peace and love with your baby Rosalyn. I know how much this hurts and the sadness that follows. Always know our babies are all together watching down on us and always by our sides!
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camunki

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Reply with quote  #43 
((Betty)) ((Ckmp)) and ((Jody)) thank you for your kind words and reaching out to me. My walk today was filled with tears, crying out "where is my Jemma" I miss her so much, words cannot even say. With Rosalyn though, she is such a happy go lucky pup, I don't even think she has a clue where Jemma was and Rosalyn goes about her day, always wagging that tail, always happy. I did bring Rosalyn to the hospital that Jemma was at (while she was in ICU) so they saw eachother, maybe somehow Rosalyn "knew" what was going on. I am so thankful to have rescued her, and Rosalyn saved me too, I have so much love in my heart for her each and everyday. It never takes away the pain I have for Jemma, Daizy and Munki. I just have alot swirling around in my head. Especially knowing in less than 2 weeks will be the one year anniversary for my Munki, where does time go? I take things one day at a time and do my best.

May all our precious fur babies run free and shine down upon us and keep visiting us and keep the love alive....I thank you all for your kindest of words!

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sarab

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Reply with quote  #44 
Cam, as difficult as life has been for you with your multiple losses, you inspire hope.  I wonder if I'll be able to adopt another dog in time.  Reading your experience with Rosalyn makes me think I could....maybe.  As you approach some difficult landmarks, may peace and healing continue to make their way to you.  Take care.  Sara
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camunki

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Reply with quote  #45 
Sarah, you will know when the time is right....i never even "thought" about adopting, especially when I lost Daizy early last year, it did not even cross my mind........but when I lost Munki 11 months later (that was 2 beloved pets in 2015).....my heart was hurting, my house was empty by 2 babies.....and sweet Jemma was sad cuz she missed her siblings too...........something in me said to "look" at other pups, even so.....when I was picked for adoptions I backed out, i was not ready......then came a point in time when I saw Rosalyn, and waited a good couple of weeks before even putiing in an application............and waited patiently....then i was picked to be the owner........never even meeting Rosalyn, just seeing a video on You tube that stole my heart the video was on Adopt a Pet.com with her profile. Rosalyn was listed in "my area" but was really transported from TX....the southern states like to have us Northern states for the adoptions...she was transported on a Rescue Road Trip....never meeting Jemma..........and it was destiny, they were best of buddies when they met.

Your Teddy may even direct you someday when you are ready, if you are...to that perfect soul of a pet.

Yes, many landmarks are coming my way, and I thank my sweet Rosalyn everyday for her unconditional love, as she kisses the tears from my eyes.........and how we both saved eachother.

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