Marianne
I lost Elliot on Saturday the 27th December and I cant believe he's gone. It was my decision to let him go which I still can't believe. He had his second vestibular attack a month ago and was constantly banging into things and unable to walk very well. My heart broke every time he hurt himself and I found him shivering on the floor when I came in because he was unable to get back into his bed. He was still eating and trying so hard to keep going but I felt I couldn't let him struggle. I thought I'd feel relief that he was longer suffering but all I feel is guilt wondering if I did the right thing. My heart aches and I just want to snuggle with him, he was my baby and reason to get up in the morning and now I don't know what to do.
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GrouchyGirl
Hi Marianne,

I am sorry for the loss of your sweet boy Elliot.  I made the same choice for my cat, Emma, on Friday.  I understand the conflicting emotions.  I think we both did the right thing, though.  Like Elliot, Emma was starting to suffer, although she was also trying to function and fight through it.  At some point, you just know that you love them too much to let them suffer any longer.  I doubt it would have gotten any better for either of our furbabies.  I hope that time will heal both of our hearts and I do take comfort believing that I will be reunited with Emma again some day.  It isn't easy losing someone you love, no matter what the circumstances.  ((hugs)) 

  [9553d203-1a14-479e-adf1-0f8959921bed] 
Emma and her girl...best friends forever!
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animal_qwackers
Marianne, sorry that you are feeling such guilt and pain over the loss of your sweet boy, Elliot. No matter what the circumstances of our loved one's passing, it isn't easy.

If Elliott was suffering, and from what you say all arrows point to the fact that he was, then you did the right thing by him. Our babies cannot make decisions for themselves; we are their advocates and must do it for them. Once an animal can no longer do what they were born to do, their quality of life is no more and, at that time, we humans must do the humane thing and let them go. I have done it myself twice this year and, whilst the decision each time was shattering, it was the right choice. I could not bear to see my beloved boys suffer, as that would have destroyed me more than the agony of letting go. To make such a decision takes courage and a depth of love and affection that only the fur baby and human knew. Despite the fact that the physicality of the pet has vanished, the bond is still there and can never be broken. The strength of the bond means the pet's energy remains, and always will. They are always with us.

Take your time to work through your grief. I do understand about the guilty feelings and how we beat ourselves up time after time. Emotionally, the loss of a beloved companion and friend is likened to being put through a shredder. One day at a time, that's all you can do. 

My thoughts are with you, and Elliot too.

Wendy




“Death ends a life, not a relationship.” – Jack Lemmon

Solly, Gonzo, Daisy-Mae, Ebony, Jerry, Tigger, Bonnie, Suzy, Cleo, Spike, Sooty, and Tibby – dazzling lights that will never fade. Adored, cherished, I was privileged to know you all. Until we meet again, my beautiful babies. Bowls of love and cuddles, your ever-loving, devoted Mummy xxxxxxxxxx


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patent123
My girl suffered a back injury and became paralyzed.  We tried crate rest and different vet procedures but nothing was helping in anyway.  Like you my heart broke every time I saw my girl because I knew deep down her life went from so happy to just sad. It killed me inside putting her through another second of what her life had become.  I of course wanted to keep fighting she was my best friend but deep down I knew things would never improve for her.  I to made that horribly hard decision to end things.  Afterwards I struggled big time and still do on if I did the right thing.  You have to trust in your gut.  No one knows our animals better then we do.  We know when somethings off and they aren't feeling well, when they are happy or angry, hungry, we know them like the back of our hand.  You have to trust that you did the right thing and I really believe you did.  Having to be the one to decide when your dog goes isn't easy...I think thats why we struggle with this choice so much.  Our days revolve around keeping our animals happy and healthy so to have to suddenly stop that isn't easy to do or accept. Trust in the fact that you stopped your guys suffering.  I tell myself this all the time that if I had kept going I would have only made my girls last days miserable stuck in her cage unable to move.  Although I ended her life and ultimately broke my heart by saying goodbye I did what was the best choice for my girl and I stopped her suffering. Look back on the good times you two shared together.  Take your time as you adjust to things...its hard and painful but with time we learn to handle things.  Stay strong friend we are all here for you.
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Gertie
I am so very sorry for your loss. I do understand your pain. I made the same decision last year, I put my little Duncan a 9 year old Lhasa to sleep. Like you, I thought I was doing the right thing for him. The guilt and pain that followed was horrible. Now a year and a half later, I am sure I made the right decision. My little man is at peace. I promise in time you will get through this. Elliott is near, he is watching over you. He will love you forever. Hold on to the memories. I promise you will smile again, Elliott would want you to. Please write and tell us all about Elliott, it will help.

Sending hug's your way,


Duncan's Mom xx [that is Duncan's picture at the side]
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Marianne
Thanks everyone your replies mean so much to me. It's been 2 weeks since Elliot died and each day is getting a little easier but I still miss him terribly. I went and collected his ashes last week and I kind of felt like I was right back to when I first lost him but also relieved that he was back close to me again. He's back in the spot he used to sleep before this illness started to take him from me. Hearing that you all feel the same feelings of guilt and sadness I'm currently feeling is lovely because I thought nobody understood how devastating loosing a pet can be. He wasn't just a dog he was my soulmate in doggie form and I wonder if I'll ever feel whole again without him here. I have no doubt that he is with me in some form just like all of your furbabies. Miss you boy so much xx
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jaschutz
I too, have been in your shoes and had those feelings of guilt. My dog had an accident and the vet's tried everything to do to save her life but every day that passed after it she kept getting worse and worse. One part of you feels that you must do the humane thing and give your pet peace from the pain they are suffering from. The other part wonders if you gave up on them too soon. My dog lived 3 days after her accident before we chose to put her down. The vet said that the fact that she survived that long was proof that she was trying to hold on for us. It's hard because our pets are so brave and will suffer through the pain just to make their owners happy. It pains me to think that London was suffering those 3 long days just for us but every time we went to visit her, she was worse and worse and seeing her suffer like that broke my heart worse than when we had to put her down. Dealing with losing a pet is so unbelievably hard. But I think watching them suffer is harder. We love our pets and no one wants to see such kind, beautiful, innocent animals suffer like that. I'm sure Elliot is eternally grateful of the sacrifice that you made for him. It was a final gesture to him of just how much you loved him. The feelings of guilt and second guessing are normal among a lot of us. Hopefully with time, we will be able to see clearly that we made the right decision for our loved ones. I am so sorry for your loss and am thinking of you during this difficult time.
Jamie

You can visit London's memorial at:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/LONDO001/Resident.htm
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Marianne
I'm really struggling today constantly questioning if I let him go too soon. Should I have given him longer to see if he could improve. Once I'd made the decision I didn't falter at the time but since then I can't help questioning. I try to visualise what I would tell a friend if they were in the same position and I really don't know. He was so feisty that day and confused because he instinctly knew something was different. I'd stayed up with Elliot the night before as I didn't want him to be alone, then neighbours and relatives came to visit. I constantly told him how much I loved him and was sorry to let him go but couldn't let him struggle on. Did I do the right thing to let him go before he got worse and suffered more? I knew loosing him would be hard but this is far worse than I imagined. I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels this way and it is lovely to know there are people out there who truly understand. X
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