tpannell
As of 08/08/18 at 8:15 a.m. I lost my baby, my two year old kitty Obi-wan (obi for short). I found him in the study, laying on the ground on his side like he was sleeping. I went to pick him up because he wasn't responding to my calls and he was completely limp but still warm. I called my sister who has been a vet technician for 12 years to rush over. When she came in she examined him and she told me the worst news I didn't ever want to here this early on.

I immediately started freaking out. My baby, my child, my little obi was dead. He was only two years old, just turned two in May. So why did he die? There was sign, no warning, nothing out of the ordinary in his poop or his behavior. There was no vomit so I'm led to believe he didn't eat anything that did this. I laid with him til the stages of death started taking over. I gave him so many kisses and cuddled with him. Not being able to come to terms with what just happened to my baby.

Words cannot describe the emptiness and loneliness I feel. The sorrow I am experiencing. For three days I've been on and off hysterically crying. One minute I'm fine and can talk about him then the next I'm crying out of control and I'm just overflowed with emotions. I feel cheated. I wanted my obi to live a long, happy, spoiled life but he was taken from me when he is still a baby.

I've barely slept. I get maybe two hours of sleep a night then after that I lay in the dark, researching what could have possibly happened to my obi. I found some possibilities. He could have had cardiomyopathy, a heart disease of the heart muscles that basically make the heart stop. Which would explain the no symptoms, no weird or out of normal behaviors, and the sudden death. I really wish I knew. I thought about doing an autopsy (dont know the word they use for cats) but the thought of my obi being cut up just so I can have my selfish desire of knowing didn't settle well.

I buried him myself. My three other cats have been supporting me. Natsu, the second youngest, was raised with Obi and hes taking it hard. Hes showing signs of grieving so I'm doing my best to comfort him and give him all the love I can. Dashi, the youngest, was just recently introduced to the family. I found her injured in my back yard so I took her in. She immediately got attached to obi and they have been playing together none stop for the past two weeks. She's always showing signs of grieving but not as much as Natsu. My heart breaks even more for them.

I've found hundreds of stories that are exactly like what happen to my obi. It gives me some comfort to know that I'm not the only one that had their baby suddenly die with no warning, it let's me know I'm not alone in my grievance. While I wish I had on paper what happened to my Obi, I think I have an idea what happened and it comforts me to know it's nothing of my doing. There was nothing I could do because it goes undetected and even with blood work and EKG's and xrays they could still not detect it.

I found this place after searching how to cope with having lost my baby. I'm hoping this will help calm me down even just a little. I have no appetite, I cant sleep, I cant stop crying and I have no attention span to do or watch anything. Obi wasn't just a pet, he was my child. He was my side kick and he helped me raise two other kittens. He was my best friend. I miss him so much and nothing brings me more joy and sadness than to talk about him. I wish with all my heart there was something I could do, even the impossible of removing that genetic from him. I hope he knew I loved him so much. Thank you for reading all of this, I apologize it's all over the place.
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larisonkd
You are not alone.  I lost my dog Cooper, an Airedale just two days ago.  He was not even three years old, so I get how you feel cheated.  What's worse is that your Obi and my Cooper had so many more years of love to give.  I, too, am overwhelmed with a profound sense of sorrow.  I don't know what to do with it.  So, I cry a lot.  I also talk to him out loud, I guess pretending he is still with me.  I hope that maybe he is in a way and that he can hear me.  I feel that I will never move on...like I can't move on...like I'm stuck in this deep hole of sadness.  Like you, I have other pets, and they are offering comfort.  They know I am sad and they come to me and lick my face or lay their heads on my lap.  I know that I have to be strong for them, so I am hoping that that responsibility will help pull me through.  Know that you are definitely not alone in your feelings.  I have all of them, too.  Allow yourself to grieve and if you cry all day...know that I am likely crying, too.  
Kathy
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MAlcindor
I am so sorry for your loss Tayler. Losing one of our babies is never easy and it does hit us very hard. The first couple of days and weeks are very rough but I am here to tell you that talking about it helps a great deal. I found this forum after I lost my second baby in just a month and if it wasn't for the support I have found here I thought I would go insane. It is such a sad lonely place to be grieving our babies. Not many people understand the heartache but everyone on this forum does because we have all been where you are now. Crying is very healing so cry all you have to and don't be ashamed. Sleep and eating are very difficult, especially the first couple of days. I'm sorry you are going through this. Your baby Obi is one beautiful kitty.
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Tankie12
Taylor I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful kitty, Obie. So young and so suddenly, your pain must be overwhelming. He is your baby and he always will be. Talk to him all you want, I believe he hears you, you’re his Mommy. I don’t believe that the love and the bond you share just goes away. You’ve come to a safe place, don’t ever worry about writing too much, it helps and we understand what you’re going through,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Rookiesmama
Tayler,
I am so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found this forum. I agree with Malcindor, talking definitely helps. You'll find that while we're all in different places on this journey, we all understand each other, and that is comforting. I know even my best friend didn't really understand my grief, while everyone here does. For me it's been 3 weeks and i'm FINALLY starting to get a regular appetite, but (consistent) sleep still we eludes me. I guess i'm just mentioning this because it's a long process, don't rush yourself. Take the time you need to grieve over Obi. ❤💔 I love the pictures you posted, he's so handsome! Hugs
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