Tracymellor
I just lost my 4 year old baby Maurice on Saturday and I'm completely heart broken. He was the healthiest dog ever and had an amazing life but last Thursday he was very quiet and seemed tired. I took him out for his walk and his wee was brown. I immediately took him to the vets and the next thing he is being sent to the emergency vets. After numerous tests I find out he has IMHA, a killer disease that can come out of nowhere. His immune system was attacking his red blood cells slowly killing him. After 2 blood transfusions and medication he wasn't responding well and the next 2 days wer just horrific as I prayed and begged he would respond to the treatment. On Saturday I stayed with him for 4 hours as he lay crippled by exhaustion from the treatment, his skin had started to turn yellow with jaundice and the vet said he one of the worst cases. I cannot even describe the pain as I cried and wailed next to him. However we agreed to give the treatment one last chance but Saturday night the vet rang me to say he wasn't looking good. I raced down to find my beautiful boys body shutting down, he just cudnt take it anymore and his body just kept attacking itself. The vet advised me it was time to let him go. In a matter of 3 days I lost the most important thing in the world to me. He was my everything and the reason for my happiness, I just don't know how to cope with him not being with me everyday. And to be taken away so cruelly by a disease I had never even heard off which can strike at any time. I expected us to live together for years and years and feel robbed of mine and Maurices happiness. I feel so much guilt that I couldn't save him. I'd love to tell him one last time how much I love him.
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NormaT
Dear Tracymellor

How awful to loose Maurice so soon and in those circumstances. My heart goes out to you. We're had our dog Spike put to sleep over 2 months ago. The first few days after they pass is almost unbearable and the guilt seems all consuming. It does get easier though I promise. Just takes time to adjust to life without them and accept and forgive yourself for doing the right thing to stop their pain / suffering.

Norma
Norma 
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Baileysbro
Sorry for your loss. 
Bailey
October 31, 2002 - April 19, 2016 10:25 P.M.
My best friend, my companion, my love

[e8de4bc1-77ae-4da2-9834-109b68b6cda8]

[Paws-for-the-News-Grieving-the-loss-of-a-pet] 
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camunki
Tracy, i am so sorry for the loss of your Maurice, and what a beautiful picture of him that you posted. I know the feeling of losing a pet, esp. at such a young age, 4 years old, man, yes, I lost mine a few years back at 4 1/2 years old, and I felt my dog Dakota was "jilted out of life".........she had ongoing health issues for 6 weeks and was not getting better, and had to make that dreaded decision to end her life.

My heart goes out to you, unfort. this was out of your control and I wish i could say something to make you feel better. Please know you are not alone with losing and loving a pet, a family member as I would say. And yes, the grieving path is a hard one, the first few weeks you will feel like a zombie. The missing your baby will hurt the most. I think we all want to wake up and see our precious pets happy and healthy, then that toll comes in and we realize they have transitioned and are no longer
physically with us. And, yes, that hurts.

Please keep posting and talking & know you are not alone.

Cam


 
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Meekosmommy
Awe I'm so sorry about your loss. Your story really hit home with me because it sounds so similar to mine. It's hard losing a dog who is so young and has his life ahead of him.. 3 weeks ago I lost my 2.5 year old Chihuaha to liver disease, his skin was also turning yellow with jaundice. I was completely devastated because I was so excited to have him with me for another possible 10-12 years. He was my everything and now he's gone so young.. my dog was also the reason for my happiness, he knew exactly how to make me feel better and I miss him Oh so much. I'm actually crying as I write this because I can relate it's so heartbreaking.. I'm sorry again
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Scottmisseslittleboy
Hugs.
I wish there were words.
8 months and I still miss my little boy.
Hugs again
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Tracymellor
Thank you so much for everyone's replies, it definitely helps that people are going through exactly the same thing and understand how I'm feeling.
Many of my friends don't have dogs and it makes you feel like your the only one that understands this pain.
I've been staying at my parents as I can't go back to my apartment as everything reminds me of him. His water and food bowls are still out, his lead on the kitchen bench, his toys all over the floor. He used to sleep on my shoulder every night and knowing I'm not going to have that is unbearable. How did you's adjust to living without them? I also feel that some people around me just "move on", even my partner wants to watch tv, go out places and act "normal" where as i feel like I never want to do that again. I spend my days talking about him, looking at videos and photos of him and finding ways i can remember him by. I know the pain will get easier, but the thought of going back to work and being "normal" again kills me.
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Tracymellor
I can't stop thinking about all your losses. Meekosmommy, 2 1/2 years is just so cruel. I keep thinking I wouldn't feel as robbed if he,d had a good 10 to 15 years but then I guess those that have them that long have spent even longer with them. The pain is just unbearable for every dog that is lost no matter how long we've had them.
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bitgrn
My prayers are with you. It has been 1 1/2 month since I lost my Casey and I still grieve even though she was 16 years old. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope each day gets a little easier.
Cathy
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Tracymellor
Thank you. Wow I can't imagine how you adjust back to life after you had Casey for 16 years, the sense of loss must be unbearable. I really feel for you. She must have had an amazing life with you though xx
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fitchick1961
I'm sorry for your loss, my puppy was 11, he was a chihuahua-papillion mix. The vet said oh he's in his prime, chihuahua can live to 17yrs or so. This was when we were trying to figure out why he was having diarrhea. Then I found out he had lymphoma. He slept in my bed every night since I got him at 8wks,so I know how you feel there. I have a cat and bird keeping me busy, but I miss Prince so much.
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Tracymellor
Hi fitchick, so sorry for your loss of Prince, he looks adorable! Because they were taken by illness you feel completely robbed of your time together. I ask myself constantly "why him?? Why did he have to go??" I'm sure every pet parent has asked that. On the other hand illness is out of our control, there's literally nothing we can do to stop it if it is going to take them so you know you are not responsible in any way. At least you have other pets to care for and you must find some comfort in that and be strong for them. I'd never had a dog before Maurice, I got him for my 30th birthday. I'll miss him every day and never get over his early death. He really gave me a purpose and I feel like I'm missing that now.
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SquirrelCatcher
I had the same thoughts too. I am also surrounded by people that just don't get why I am so upset. That is a big reason why I haven't told most people about my poor girl passing. They just don't get it. I think most of us here feel the same way. We don't want to do anything and nothing holds any appeal. Personally, I have lost my appetite and nothing I used to do seems fun anymore. I don't even want to go anywhere with my friends. My surviving pooch is also depressed and not eating. We just chill out bumming each other out. I still feel uncomfortable around the house. We end up heading out to the part after work and just watch folks walk by until dark. 
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Casey16
Oh honey I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my sweet Casey this past Sunday. She was the center of my universe. I try to tell myself we were blessed with sixteen amazing years, but it's never enough. Dogs are so stoic, it is so sad that too often when they show any symptoms...it is too late. Again, I'm so sorry. Sandi
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