Jasmines_Mom
8 days ago I had to say goodbye to my baby Jasmine, a black and tan Pomeranian.  She was only 12 years old and had heart disease.  She was diagnosed in March with a Grade 4 heart murmur.  It came out of nowhere.  She had just been to the vet less than 6 months before and they did not hear any issues with her heart.  The cardiologist put her on medication but she only held on for five short months.  The last month was very hard.  She was in and out of the hospital.  I put my life on hold to take care of her and to be with her every minute that I could.  I wanted to make sure she wasn't put under any unnecessary stress.  The last time I took her to the animal hospital I thought they would adjust her meds again and she would come home.  When I left her at 3 AM they said she was doing really well in the oxygen chamber.  But it was not to be.  They called me at 6:30 AM and told me she was not responding to medication and that she was actually getting worse.  She was struggling to breathe even in the oxygen chamber.  I knew it was time to let my baby go because I didn't want her to suffer.  

I feel like my heart stopped with hers.  My grief is so overwhelming.  She was my soulmate.  I've lost pets before but my connection with Jasmine was different.  I don't know how to go on without her.  I can't stop crying.  I just want my baby back.  I keep looking and listening for her but she isn't there.  The thought of never seeing her again is more than I can take. Jazz and Jade.jpg
I miss you every minute of every day, my sweet baby Jasmine.
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CeeCeesMom
Dear Jasmines_Mom, please accept my condolences on the loss of your beautiful Jasmine.  It's so hard to lose a beloved fur baby and soulmate.  And the first few weeks are especially hard.  I can completely relate to the feeling of overwhelming grief at the thought of never seeing her again.  I lost three cats in nine months, my two longtime companions and one new little kitten who had FIP.  The worst for me was after my second cat passed, I felt like I was in the very pit of despair.  I don't know if you hold religious beliefs.  But I believe you will see your beautiful Jasmine again.  If you are a person of faith, this is a time to really lean on your faith. Everybody's experience with grief is different and there's no set timetable.  I can only tell you that through prayer, support and with the passage of time, the worst physical symptoms of grief and the soul crushing despair have decreased for me.  I hope and pray they will for you too.  I see that there are two beautiful Pomeranians in the picture you posted.  If the other little one is yours, I hope he or she is a comfort to you.  There are so many eloquent and sympathetic people on this forum.  I find that it helps to read other peoples' postings, to know that you're not alone in your feelings.  I've also found that keeping a journal helps. I want to remember every happy memory with my cats.  It sounds like you gave Jasmine a beautiful life full of love. I hope the love that you share with Jasmine will be a lasting comfort to you.

CeeCeesMom
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Miasmom_704
Jasmine's Mom,

I totally empathize with you.  I understand... I lost my baby on July 2.  I was crying tonight on my way home.  Coming home is the worst.  No one is here.  You do feel like you can't go on.  I miss mine every day and every minute.  They teach us to love and then they are gone.  It is a gift to have them. Cry and be kind to yourself.  Hold things of hers. I have been doing that.  You don't want them to suffer.... I know.  We have to make that terrible decision for them.  They need us to do that for them but it's so hard because we want them here.  Hold on, do things for yourself that are healing, get a lot of rest too. This is what I'm doing and it helps.  I've been looking at photos of my cats to remember everything.  You gave Jasmine so much of yourself and she to you. Try to hold onto that even though it hurts.

Mia’s Mom
Please visit Mia’s memorial
Visit Mia's Rainbow Bridge Memorial Residency

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Jasmines_Mom
Thank you CeeCeesMom and Miasmom for your kind words.  I am someone who is typically not emotional so I've really struggled to find ways to deal with these intense feelings of pain and loss.  Sometimes it's hard to breathe without her.  I know you understand what I'm going through and it does help to know that I am not alone in my grief.  It can feel very isolating at times.  I just miss my baby more than I can even express.  I don't know how to put it into words.  I picked up her ashes last night.  It is very final.  I have cried more tears than though was ever possible.

The other Pomeranian in the picture is my baby Jadyn.  She's also 12 (3 months younger than Jasmine) and I got her about 6 months after Jasmine to try to help with Jasmine's separation anxiety.  Having Jadyn did help.  They didn't act like best friends but now I see how much Jasmine meant to Jadyn.  Jasmine was very dominant and Jadyn is very passive.  I realize now that the only reason Jadyn every barked at anything is because Jasmine was barking.  Jadyn is now silent.  She has not been eating much since the loss of Jasmine.  I know she's grieving too.  It's also hard for me to see these changes in Jadyn's behavior.  My house is so silent it's deafening. 

I miss you Jasmine.  I love you with all my heart baby girl.


I miss you every minute of every day, my sweet baby Jasmine.
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear Jasmines_Mom,

I also offer you my sincerest and most heartfelt condolences on the loss of your beloved Jasmine. By your words it sounds like Jasmine was truly your "Spirit Animal." That is why your grief is so severe. As they say, "The deeper the love, the deeper the grief." And "Grief is the price we pay for love."

Thank you for sharing with us some of your and your girls story and that delightful photo. Jasmine was beautiful and she appears very content and comfortable in that photo.

Please know that you are not alone. Your Jasmine is still with you in spirit and all of us here on the Rainbow Bridge Forum are also with you. 

Kindest regards,
James
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Jasmines_Mom
Thank you James.  I appreciate your kind words.

I miss Jasmine so much.  Every day feels like an eternity without her.  It's so hard to go on without her.

I miss you every minute of every day, my sweet baby Jasmine.
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Jasmines_Mom
It's been 3 weeks without you Jasmine.  Every day hurts just as much as the first day.  Every day feels like an eternity without you.  I am so lost and my heart is broken.  I miss you so much.  I would give anything to have you here with me.  Please know that I love you with all my heart and you'll always be my baby girl.
I miss you every minute of every day, my sweet baby Jasmine.
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LauriP92
Dear Jasmines_Mom
I do not know how to get through this. I guess it just takes time. To not see their little faces when we come home is unbearable. Know that I'm thinking of you and hoping time helps ease the pain for us. I don't know how to get through this but this forum is very helpful. We put our cat to eternal rest on Thurs and my heart is shattered in a million pieces.
Lauri 
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Jasmines_Mom
Lauri,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby.  I know there is nothing I can say that will make you feel better.  My world is small and Jasmine was such a big part of it.  I feel so devastated and sometimes the pain is so intense I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack.  Every day feels just as bad as the first day and it's like I have to somehow go through the initial realization that she's gone over and over and over again.  I'm just trying to take deep breaths and do what I can to get through every day.  All I'm doing at this point is getting through the day.  I am not living.  I'm just alive.  
I miss you every minute of every day, my sweet baby Jasmine.
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Sayuri
Dear Jasmine's Mom, my girl was at the hospital for 36 hours. She too was put in oxygen cage, but no one called me even though her breathing wasn't getting better. Which they should've known it was due to her anxiety, not her medical condition. They knew she was a semiferal, scared little dog. I got the call at 11:02 pm. Just a few minutes earlier I had suddenly woke up feeling hot. It was very strange. I had called the hospital two hours earlier, they didn't say she was struggling. My Baby was scared and tried to hold on. She suffered and now all I feel is guilt and so much pain.

My best to you and prayers for healing.
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LauriP92
Jasmines mom-I understand what you mean by not living and just being alive. I had to force myself to go for a walk this morning to get out of the house. All I want to do is lay in bed and cry. But know that won't solve anything. I feel for all of us that have lost a pet and think the what if's too much. What if I would have noticed he was not eating earlier etc etc. I had my baby as long as people have their kids at home and it is a devastating loss. I hope in time I can get to the place where I start remembering all the cute things I loved about him and not just the sadness I feel. I did make Ollie a memorial page on the rainbow bridge website so I go there and talk to him all the time. Seems to help a bit. Sad for all of us
Lauri 
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