heartsick

I just got home from the vet. Nori - my little bunny Eleanore who just turned 2 on May 13th died on a Friday night the same time as Bear did. I can't even breathe right now. I can't get my head around it. She just didn't seem right. She was sitting on her haunches like cat. She was just behaving oddly for a few hours. Bunnies mate for life - Harry did not leave her side for one second. I picked her up and kissed her and checked her out the best I could. She seemed slightly bloated and yet dehydrated at the same time. I called the emergency vet but I didn't like who was on call. I called my vet and one of the two who do bunnies was on call for emergencies. She said she would meet us there. I put Nori in a crate. She perked up a little and kissed my fingers through the crate. When we got there I held her and kissed her and told her that Mommy loved her and we were going to make her feel all better. The vet said she felt like she was filled with gas and she could have a hairball. Bunnies can't throw up so it gets stuck. This is fixable and not contagious so I was somewhat calmed. She was going to take her upstairs and try to relieve the gas. Nori was in pain. When bunnies are in pain they grind their teeth. When they are very happy and content they chatter their teeth. One must learn the difference. Anyway I knew before we left the house that she was in pain because on and off she was grinding her teeth. I sat and waited for less than ten minutes and when the vet came back she didn't have Nori. I thought they were just going to keep her over night. But she told me that she had died in those short ten minutes. She was filled up with fluid. She had some type of blockage that was not letting any liquid pass through her into her intestines. The vet thinks she may have had a tumor but is just guessing as she really has no idea. I don't want an autopsy. I want to just leave her be in peace. Meanwhile I had burst into tears. She asked if I wanted to see her and I said yes. She looked like her beautiful little self. She looked alive and fine. When the vet put the tube in to relieve the gas tons of fluid started coming out of her mouth and her nose and she went into cardiac arrest. The vet did mouth to mouth and chest compressions and tried to save her but she thinks something must have burst inside. I am in complete and total shock. I could barely breathe at the vet I was hyperventilating. So now I have to call the cemetery again tomorrow. I know that there are no empty plots near Bear. Bear's was the last one available under the Cherry Trees - unless it was the last large one - I have no idea what I am even saying right now. I am very worried bout Harry. Rabbits have been known to pine away after a mate dies. Harry was my first born bunny. He is the light of my life bunny along with Simon and Isabeau, and Jessica and Arthur, and Lance, and of course Juliet. SO now I start grieving all over again. I was just beginning to sleep again. I was just beginning to write again. What do I do? I am a mess! I finally can breathe again. But how much grief can one person take. Tonight is 15 weeks since I lost Bear. I feel empty.

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heartsick

My poor little bunny girl was fine yesterday. She was her running around playful self. Today from 4pm she started to just sit still, but bunnies can do that when it is warm, and by 9pm she had died. I don't know what to do. I have been crying again. She died at about the exact same time as Bear died and they both died on a Friday night. I feel sick to my stomach. I am just a mess. I don't want to cry anymore but I can't seem to stop. This is only 15 weeks exactly after Bear died. I don't know how to handle this. I came home without her and Harry kept looking for her. She was my little "Hello" - "Goodbye" girl. She always said goodbye when I was leaving the house and greeted me when I came home but tonight I came home without her. My poor sweet little Nori. If I feel this awful I can't imagine what poor little Harry is going through in his hutch all alone for the very first time in his 2 and a half year life! The average life of an inside bunny is 10 to 12 years and yet my beautiful little girl was just 2 on May 13th. I don't know how to grieve for two little loves at the same time. I have to keep catching my  breath.

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pollysma
I am so sorry to hear about your sweet Nori! Your heart has taken quite a beating this year, my friend. And both deaths so unexpected, so traumatic. I feel your sorrow as my own. I just came on here because I couldn't stop crying as my Polly passed away 3 weeks ago today and read your post. My heart cries for you and your little ones. I will remember you, Bear and Nori in my prayers. 
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julieandfurbabies
Oh Susan I am so very sorry.  You have been through such a traumatic time the last few months with the loss of your little soul mate and now...another loss.  You poor darling, having to go through all this again and so soon.  I wish I lived closer, my heart is breaking for you. I really dont know what to say and am angry that you have to go through another loss like this.  Take solace in the fact that Bear will be there waiting for Nora and they are together, running free at the bridge.  Just think of the wonderful life Nora had with you...what a charmed life having such a beautiful Mummy. Sleep tight little one. I shall say a prayer for your furbabies tonight and ask the angels to look over them
GOD bless you my friend  and just know that I am always here for you x 

Love Julie x
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TomT
Dear Susan,

Please know how deeply I regret the loss of your sweet Nori.  You have certainly been through too much these last few months.  I pray you Peace and Comfort.

Tom T
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kathleens47
I am so sorry for your loss.  It is so unbelievably hard to lose a beloved furbaby.  But keep in ind you did all you could do.  I am sure you gave Nori infinite love and that she had a great life.  Just think, all your furbabies will be waiting on you in the afterlife.  I know it is so hard a first losing a furbaby and even down the road but with time all wounds heal.  Just always remember Nori for the good times you shared and all those funny little moments.  My prayers are with you, and we can all help you with your sorrows here.
God Bless
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heartsick

TomT, Julie, Pollysma, and Kathleens47 -
Thank you so much. I am a mess right now. I am worried for my little Harry. Harry is on the left giving Nori kisses in the photo. He is also in a little blue sweater lying across Nora's back in another photo. He did not leave her side for a minute during the four hours I watched them yesterday before I just knew in my gut something was wrong -BUT NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS DID I THINK SHE would die!!!! I had to call the cemetery again and they said they will call me back on Monday. There is no grave near Bear so I can't have them together. I am just so upset. This has brought back ALL of the grief for Bear also, which was just at the very beginning of letting me sleep again..

I AM NOW OFFICIALLY TERRIFIED OF LOSING ANYONE ELSE. I AM WORRIED TO DEATH ABOUT MY JASPER PUPPY WHO IS BEING TREATED FOR LYME. AND I AM JUST WORRIED ABOUT ALL OF THEM. JULIET is supposed to get her last shot of Penicillin on Thursday but now I think maybe we should do one extra week just to make sure. I THINK MAYBE I AM DOING SOMETHING WRONG - BUT THE VET SAID THAT THESE ARE JUST COINCIDENCES. I DON'T BELIEVE IN COINCIDENCES. I THINK EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. I MUST BE THE MOST HORRIBLE PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE TO HAVE MY MOST PRECIOUS HEART AND SOUL, BEAR, TAKEN FROM ME AND THEN MY JULIET HAD TO GO THROUGH SO MUCH. SINCE MAY 5TH SHE WENT TO THE VET 6 DAYS A WEEK FOR IV FLUIDS FOR 5 WEEKS AND IS STILL ON ANTIBIOTICS AND IT IS AUGUST!. NOW MY LITTLE PRECIOUS ELEANORE, named for the strongest woman in history - Eleanore of Aquitaine - the only woman to be both Queen of France and Queen of England- she flouted all tradtional roles and was one of the smartest women who ever lived- my Nora-playful sweet Nori is gone. I can't take ALL of this grief in only three months! I don't know what to do. I keep walking around my house in cirlces crying. I can't focus. I can't think. I AM SORRY TO ASK YOU THIS MY FRIENDS BUT I NEED YOU ALL AGAIN. I need your help and support and understanding. Please try and be there. I don't know where else to turn. Thank you for putting up with me all over again.


Nori is on the left of Harry in both of these photos!

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heartsick

I am still walking around in shock. I go in and check on poor little Harry all the time. It breaks my heart to see him confused and looking for Nora. She was fine and then all of a sudden she wasn't. My poor little Nori. I love her and I miss her and I ache for Harry who doesn't understand anything except that his other half is gone. I just can't believe Nori is gone. I walk past and I still talk to her. I still expect to see her there. I think I hurt as much as Harry hurts.

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julieandfurbabies

Oh Susan I am so sorry this has happened.  we are all here for you... 

Love Julie x
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heartsick
The numbness has worn off today. I feel her loss so much today but I don't want to cry near Harry. He knows something is wrong and he keeps looking for her - but when I check on him he still gives me his little bunny kisses. I am feeling guilty as I just noticed a piece of the wooden toy they have is broken off. But I don't think a bunny can swallow things without chewing them. They need to chew o wood to keep their teeth from over growing. I have to speak with my vet and with the cemetery tomorrow. I have been crying a lot again today. I seem to want to sleep all of the time and not even get out of bed at all. I am NOT okay and I am NOT having a good day or time.

Harry (on left) giving Nori kisses.
Nora by herself
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milesmommy
Susan,
I'm so sorry for your loss.  I know you've had such a difficult time with the loss of Bear and now Nori.  Please know you did everything you could do, you're right - everything happens for a reason.  Although we may not understand it! Let yourself cry and sleep, let it all out and eventually you'll feel better.  I wish I could take away the pain from you.  You've been thru so much.  Please know we're here and we care about you.
Take care.

Milesmommy
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heartsick
Thank you so much.
Right now it is helping me to know that people are reading my post and responding. For some reason that matters to me. I want to know that people are reading and that someone cares. I feel so alone here at home as none of my local friends wants anything to do with me. They just don't get it. Grief doesn't just evaporate. I need this site just to live right now.

So Thank You again. I truly appreciate your comments and caring.

Susan

Harry on the left sharing kisses with Nori
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milesmommy
I know how you feel, with your local friends not understanding.  I've experienced the same things.  It's hard to hear, he was just a dog you didn't think he was going to live forever did you.  You just want to slap some people!!  But Susan, you have such a big heart and so much love to give - don't forget that!  Your babies are so very lucky to have you.  They need you and love you! 
I'm here if you need to talk!  My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope you will soon find peace!

Milesmommy (Mary)
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heartsick

Mary,
Thank you so very much. I am so sick of people telling me I don't need to bury her. Just do this or that... some things I have been told are so awful I won't repeat them. She is my little bunny girl. I rescued her. Harry bonded with her right away. I am worried about him also. He is still looking for her my sweet Harry. I rescued them all from a fox who was eating them. They are Domestic English Spotted Rabbits. Someone dumped them into the wild. It's like dumping a French Poodle to live with the wolves. It doesn't work. Their father would jump into my lap and I would kiss him, sometimes with pink lipstick on purposely so he would have pink lips on his forehead in the pictures I took. I love these babies and Bear is only gone 14 weeks. I don't even know where to begin to deal with double grief.
Knowing there are people out there who care and respond means the world to me right now. I need the people on this site all over again from the beginning.
Thank you for caring enough to write to me.
My Love to You,
Susan

Nora is on the left of Harry in the photos of the two of them. My little Nori was the shy one of the two. I just checked on the bunnies and Harry is still looking for her. It kills me to see this.

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heartsick

Nori's funeral will be on Wednesday. They found me a plot at the foot of Bear's grave so they will be together. I do feel a sense of comfort from that.
I spoke with my vet and the vet that treated her and they both feel that there was nothing I could have done. They feel she had a slow growing tumor and she hid it from me and from Harry until she was in so much pain she couldn't hide it anymore. That was the blockage. I feel better it was not my fault. She just went from being fine to gone in four hours.

Thank you for listening. I am a mess.

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