Judicoltrain Show full post »
Broken1
Achilly,
 I’m usually very good w words,Ill be honest tho,the day I came home from putting Baby down I wanted to write him a poem and I just couldn't get the words onto paper,then last night I went to write a note to him (mom wrote one) and put it the bag w his ashes and I realized it wasnt I couldnt think of anything it was that I had TOO much to say! Today I woke up ok and it was the first morning I didn't cry and I actually felt guilty not crying and I told my mom,she said “crying dont matter,its whats in your heart” ,then I had a 3 hour drive (1.5 hours each way) I talked to a friend the whole way (normally I blast music) and on the way home I cried to the point I couldnt see driving.I also walked into a store that I always go to  (never w baby)
and I cried because its the first time I’m going into that store and my Baby is gone...I’m 47yr old male I lived in a VERY tough part of NY and ive seen a lot (actually too much) this is just breaking me!!!

my undying love Baby!

your broken friend,
Jimmy
Ill never be the same...
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Achilly
Jimmy
It doesn't matter what you have seen or been through in life. If you lose something you love it is the worse pain you have every felt. I have been through a lot and lost my Dad, and other pets. Loosing Chance has been the hardest for me. We bonded so deeply. We was my best friend, my baby, my companion. Driving home is very hard and I cry everyday. I have also felt guilty when I'm not crying, i think this is all the stages of grief.
Take care Jimmy
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Broken1
Achilly,
 I lost my dad too,at age 20...and I agree losing something you love is the worst pain.My Baby (his name) was a brown and white tiny Pomeranian only 3lbs, he was so cute,did the cutest things,was so innocent and he suffered. It eats me up not seeing those eye’s in the am,he‘d stare at me till I woke up,it was the cutest thing EVER! I’d love to share a pic its just too painful right now.they gave me 2 little glass jars w his fur and I had to stop looking (and smelling) them as well...

God bless You and Chance,

your friend,
Jimmy
Ill never be the same...
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Broken1
Achilly,Judy and Julie,
 My cousin sent me this and I thought of you guys immediately.
it made me cry,I hope it don't upset you guys but it’s beautiful...


I miss you Baby,Daddy LOVES you!



your broken friend,
Jimmy 4C956BE0-19FB-4272-A075-42625614AD5A.jpeg
Ill never be the same...
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Judicoltrain
Broken1... this is beautiful
Judi coltrain
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Achilly
Jimmy
Thank you for sharing, its so sweet.
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Broken1
Judi and Achilly,
  you guys are welcome,I’m glad you liked it!

your broken friend,
Jimmy
Ill never be the same...
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Judicoltrain
My baby bret today is pretty ruff again.. be 4 wks Monday and this just doesn't get better. I hate to see the wkends come any day as far as that goes. I knew it was gonna be like this as soon as I got up this morn. I miss you my baby boy I wish I could see you touch you hear you bark and see you prance sround when you needed to go outside. I keep asking why did you have to leave me baby. I love you and give giz big kiss for me....love mommy
Judi coltrain
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Lrogers424
Hi Judi,

I know how you feel.  In the first weeks after my Daisy passed, I was angry at time for moving ahead without her.  Everyone's life was still in motion while mine felt like it had come to a complete stop.  There are times that I still cannot believe that it has been over a year and a half since I last held her in my arms as she passed.  The only thing that has helped is to keep some sense of forward movement. To get up each day and even one small accomplishment (even if it is just a shower!) is a way forward.  Full disclosure, there were days when I could not get up, but I found what worked for me.  Getting a puppy 4 months after Daisy passed, whose sole existence depended on me getting up was definitely a turning point. While it is not for everyone (and it was rough in the beginning) honesty, that is what made the difference.  My new little 8 week old pup, Luna, needed my complete attention.  She needed to be fed, walked, potty trained, manners trained and above all, loved.  She filled in the lonely parts and at 1 1/2 years she has stolen my heart, and everyone's she meets! Not a replacement, but a new life with a reason to love and laugh again.

It takes time so be kind and patient with yourself.  Mourn, grieve, be angry, sad, but remember the amazing love you had too.
Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
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Judicoltrain
Lrogers424... Hi and thank you for the comforting words. Yes I think the loniless and missing him every minute of every day is going to get me down. He was all I had in life basically he kept me going. I have no one here it was just me and him in our own little world. I would never have problem getting another I have all the love in the world to love another dog and I know the baby would love me back but it's just the thought of going through this excruciating pain all over again losing it. I love hard when it comes to our furry babies and I don't think I could handle the loss again as it's not going well with me now. I'm glad you found happiness again I was blessed that they did live their average life span but they can get sick at any age. It hurts my heart to see our babies get sick. Take care n I'm sure daisy is looking down on you and luna. Whst kind of dog was daisy and what breed is Luna.
Judi coltrain
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Lrogers424
Hi Judi,

It is a hard decision to love again, knowing that you will be devastated again by loss sometime in the future.  It is the price we pay for loving so completely.  For me though, the years for joy, companionship far exceeds the pain.  Also knowing I was able to give my Daisy a wonderful home after she was picked up as a stray, .  For the life of me, I could never imagine how anyone could have abandoned such a sweet soul.  Daisy was a mystery breed of some bichon, poodle havanese mix?  We always joked that it was her well kept secret as everyone always asked what she was.  She was 15 pounds of white curls, soft grey ears and a whole lot of love!  She was 12-13 years when she passed.  She was the picture of health when suddenly she seemed to be struggling to pass urine.  In matter of 2 weeks she could no longer urinate at all and was diagnosed with an inoperable tumor in her urethra and cancer had spread to her lymph nodes and brain. She was struggling and we could not let her suffer.  We had to choose the unthinkable and opted to end your suffering. She passed in our arms the next day at the vet office. It was devestating and her loss was profound.

I was not doing well at all following Daisy's loss and after 4 months of agony, I knew I wanted another. That is when my little lightfilled Luna came into our lives!  I found her on a facebook post from the family looking for the perfect homes for the three baby girls.  We met Luna, the family and both Luna's puppy parents at our vets office for the first time. We are more certain of Luna's breed as we were lucky to meet both her parents, Mom is a Shih-poo and dad is pure Shihtzu. Luna was one of three in an accidental litter.    It was an emotional meeting as it was at the same vet that where we held our Daisy as she passed moths before.

Here are my girls:  Daisy first, then Luna
Daisy sized.jpg  luna resize.jpg 

They are unique and wonderful little souls!  I hope you find your peace...we are all here to listen!
Lori, Daisy's Mom and now Luna's Mom
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Judicoltrain
Omg Lrogers424 how beautiful your babies. I also had a shih-tzu that passed away bout 3 yrs ago and Bret and him was best buds they were inseparable. I took his passing just as hard but also Bret became depressed and after he passed Bret never played with a toy again. Also it didn't help Bret him seeing me upset every day so I got up one day n Bret and I left the house and went on a little journey n it helped us both n we both made it thru the pain together of losing our little giz. Now that Bret is gone it feels like I'm not only reliving when giz passed but now I have lost Bret n its killing me big time. The loneliness is brutal beyond words. I wish I could post pic to show you what they looked like but for some reason my phone won't let me do it. Bret was yorkie mix and giz was shih-tzu. I miss them both so much I just dont kow what to do. I pray they are both together again n looking down on their mommy... You take care and I'm sure daisy is looking down on you also. I'm glad you found Luna she is blessed to have you....judi
Judi coltrain
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