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Judicoltrain

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Reply with quote  #1 
I love you my baby bret n happy Valentine's day. We were never much into holidays we were fine just me and you in our own world together. We had each other that's all we needed. You didn't care or play with toys any more after your best friend gizzy passed a couple yrs ago. I hope your up there at rainbow bridge United with him. Give him big kiss for me and I know if you are your just as happy as can be. That's doesn't make my pain any easier it will never go away still cry nonstop for you baby. Can't come to terms with this empty house and missing you will never get you out of mind and was just thinking this morning while drinking my coffee with you beside me I told you next month will be spring and I hated to see it come. Takes everything out of me to want to get out of bed knowing you aren't here so we can start our day together now the days are long and just miserable and I want them to be over. Really cold here this morning-6 actual temperature we hated the cold and got out to do what we had to and come right back in then you would get your cookie. I miss you so much boostie that's what I would call you all the time when we would get ready to do something I would say come on bootsie let take out the garbage or whatever we was going to do. I'll love you forever right up there with giz..... mommy loves you baby
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Judi coltrain
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Achilly

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Reply with quote  #2 
Judi today has been a hard day😢 we got a card from our vets office and tears just came pouring out. I miss him so much. Thinking of you
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Judicoltrain

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Reply with quote  #3 
Hi archilly.... Everyday is still beyond hard for me. As I know it is for you also. I'm like a zombie. It's a nightmare. Thinking of you also.... hugs judi
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Judi coltrain
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Judicoltrain

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Reply with quote  #4 
My baby bret tomorrow will be 2 wks since you been gone. No words can express the amount of pain I'm still having here in this empty house without you. I've always said to myself at times I didn't know what I would ever do when your gone. Life is miserable here without you. I still wait to go to bed at night cause I can't barely make it through the day. Sun is shining today a little bit warmer and still makes me think what I will do when spring or summer arrives. My mind wants to shut down and dont want to think of anything any longer. It's not life without you here any longer. I miss you my baby boy love you so much. Can't wait to see you again..... love your mommy
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Judi coltrain
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Broken1

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Reply with quote  #5 
I just put my Baby (that was his name) down yesterday and in cant deal w the pain...


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Broken1

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Reply with quote  #6 
Hey JudiColtrain,  i put my boy down yesterday,he was a Pomeranian and almost 14. the house feel so different,everything and everywhere holds a memory. I didnt go to sleep because every time i closed my eyes I seen his,so I paced and paced and paced hoping to pass out on my feet,it didnt happen and I’m yet to eat...this is so hard,if you want to talk just write back!!!
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Judicoltrain

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Reply with quote  #7 
I'm do sorry for your loss Broken1. It will be 2 wks tomorrow for me n the pain it just as it was yesterday. My appetite is still not good. We all feel this pain on here and this forum does help. I quit asking myself the what ifs any longer I just feel like shutting down. The love I lost is unbearable and all we can tell ourselves is our babies were loved and they loved us back. We couldn't ask for anything more. We loved hard and so did they. Stay on this forum cause it does help knowing we all loved n hurt the same. And I didnt have anyone out here to speak to my baby was all I had take care .....judi
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Judi coltrain
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Achilly

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Reply with quote  #8 
Judi I just read a quote " Its OK if all you do today, is just breathe" from a pet grief site. I think its so true
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Broken1

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Reply with quote  #9 
I’m so mad at myself and cant get over the guilt all i do is cry,cry and cry more! I feel like such an animal for losing it at times w him and people keep sayin “you were sleep deprive,its normal” i dont belive that no matter how tired I should’ve never been angry the poor dog was suffering.dont get me wrong I NEVER raised a hand and never did,my boys dont know what punishment is,i just feel like a POS for losing patience 
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Broken1

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Reply with quote  #10 
Btw can you tell me how to start a forum of my own?




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Judicoltrain

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Reply with quote  #11 
Thank you achilly I try and do that it does help somewhat I wish I could wave a magic wand and he come back. How are you doing
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Judi coltrain
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Achilly

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Reply with quote  #12 
Judi oh how I wish i had a magic wand too. I'm doing a little better, but still such a big empty hole and the quiet is awful. Still so much whats ifs.... Today is sunny Chance would have loved it..
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Achilly

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Reply with quote  #13 
Jimmy go to the forum main page and click compose
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Broken1

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Reply with quote  #14 
Achilly,
 Thank you Achilly I wrote my own page title “cant get over guilt,day 1”,I wrote to you on your page as well

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Judicoltrain

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Reply with quote  #15 
My dearest baby boy bret.... well today is Monday the day day I dreaded the most it's the day I had to say goodbye. Been 2 wks seems like yesterday. Still have to push myself to just get through the day without you. Last night it was really bad crying nonstop and just holding your urn next to my heart wishing you was still here me so bad can't just come to terms with it and never will. Gonna try and go back to work tonight I. I know im not ready but I will never be ready to do anything again this I know. I love you with all heart n soull my baby boy and can't wait to see u and giz again. I hope you have comfort at rainbow bridge n you and giz have find each other. Wait for mommy I'll be there. Love mommy
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Judi coltrain
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