Maryh89
Hi im writing here in a lot of pain pain I've never felt before to see if i can get some support on my grieving. Yesterday my husband daughter and i had to put our loving son down it was the most heart wrenching decision we've ever made he had been sick for a week at home taking medications to see if got better but nothing was working he couldn't eat drink and couldn't walk at all he was in a lot of pain so our vet said to take him in.. We took him she did blood work and urinalysis and said she'll be back in 20 minutes with the results.. She took 3 hours to tell us they were working on a plan that there was no diagnosis yet then i looked at my husband and said "if its been this long and she has no update it can't be good" as all this was happening our baby was in the floor not moving breathing slowly growling and getting aggressive at everyone 30 minutes later the vet walks in and explains he has a infection a severe one and that there was 2 things it could be rocky mountain fever or lepto he's always had his shots and flea and thick prevention and we couldn't get it trough our minds how this can happen! She then goes on to to tell us that he can get better from that but that was not her concerns her concern was that my baby's blood showed his own body was poisoning him inside out and he was becoming toxic to own self (his own body killing him instead of fighting the infection) and that there was kidney and liver failure that we could leave him in the hospital but his chance to live was low and he will never be able to walk again and most likely he will stay aggressive due to the damage the infection had caused neurologicly so she said that and we were crushed! She left us to talk on our options and the one she recommended was to put him to sleep and end his pain so we looked at our baby and he could barely open his eyes and we couldn't hold our tears it was hard seeing him like that and after spending an hour saying good bye we told the vet to put him to sleep to end his pain watching him go was the hardest thing i had to see in my life he stared at us the entire process he looked thankful and relaxed and in my heart i feel that's what he wanted to feel nomore pain but i can't help to feel miserable.. We came home crying to an empty house to our boy no longer waiting for us at the door wagging his tail of excitement to see us it was heart wrenching and I'm in so much pain i dont want to walk out of my room because i know he isn't out there to greet me my house is so empty without my baby.. I appreciate any support i get i just need someone who's gone trough this to help me cope with this sadness my boy was a German rottweiler named Chuck he was 3 years and 7 months old too young to leave us
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msweet13
Dearest Mary - I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Chuck. He is a handsome boy. I wish I had something magical to say to you to make the pain stop from hurting, but I do not know the words. I totally understand the feelings of coming home to an empty house because I felt the very same way when I lost my Brutus 17 weeks ago. To this day, I dread walking into the house because I know he is not going to be there to welcome me home. When you mentioned that "he stared at us the entire process he looked thankful and relaxed and in my heart i feel that's what he wanted to feel no more pain" you spoke volumes in that you gave him the same gift he gave you for his entire short life--the gift of unconditional love. My heart goes out to you and your husband and your daughter because you have lost a vital member of your family and he was so so young. Your feelings of grief are very raw now and the days ahead are going to be hard. Please know that those feelings are normal as every one on this site has been in the same place you are now and we all understand what you are going through. You are not alone. We are here to offer a shoulder to cry on, an arm to lean on and an ear and heart to listen. I wish you warm hugs and blessings of comfort.

Denise (Brutus' Mom)
Brutus von Dolce
06/19/2006 - 03/16/2018
RIP my sweet beautiful boy
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Maryh89
Dear Denise- Thank you so much for your kind words. Im sitting here in tears missing my Chucke terribly i can't stand in my kitchen at this point as i know he isnt going to be there staring at me begging me smelling my food or trying to get a bite from the dinner i just made. I can still feel him inside the house and i get flashbacks of him standing in my bedroom door waiting for me to let him outside he was so smart he will give us his paw when he agreed to something or move his head side to side. I dread going to any part of the house that reminds me of him i dread cooking and i love cooking. A part of me went along with him and i hope this will get better i know he will want us to be happy and not get sad but the knowing of him not being here is killing me. I'm so sorry about your loss as well your Brutus was a handsome boy himself i hope it will get better for us and thank you for replying to my post it has gave me comfort im glad im not alone in this.
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Sampson
Dear Mary, My deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved Chuck. It was much too soon for this to have happened and my heart breaks for you. I just looked at his picture and he was one handsome lad! I'm glad you've posted here where everyone understands your terrible loss and will want to offer words of comfort. Please continue to write about how you are doing. We're here for you!
Sam
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camunki
my heart aches for you, and your beautiful picture of your Chuck, also being only 3 years 7 months is...too young. Please know you did not cause this to happen, and yes it sucks that this infection got the best of your boy.

I know the pain of losing a baby, I lost my beloved Jemma, back on Oct 21st 2016...she was a Rotti too..and i still cry from time to time, just missing and loving her. I know the first few months are by far the hardest, we miss their presence in our homes, waking up and seeing and smelling them and all their antics. It is by far a hard road we call grieving to be on.

When you look at the big picture, your baby Chuck was in pain and its so sad that this infection happened to him.....he is still with you though, he is your guardian angel and please watch out for "signs" from him. You will be reunited again.....at this time I again, am so sorry for what has happened, and please keep posting here as there are many kind hearted people who can truly understand the feelings you are going thru.

(((((hugs)))))

Cam


 
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MAlcindor
Dear Mary, my heart goes out to you and your family for your terrible loss. The pain of losing our babies is at times unbearable, I recently lost my 2 babies just one month apart, so I know about the empty feeling. Like you, cooking is painful for me because my little Max is no longer sitting there waiting for me to throw him a treat. Our babies are so intertwined in our lives that everything reminds us of them. 

When I first lost my Max I looked for resources online for support because unfortunately friends and even family don't always understand the pain we feel for the loss. After losing Bailey just a month later, the pain was unbearable and thank goodness I found this forum. It has helped me so much and everyone here is so understanding, because they have all gone through it and understand the pain.

Again, I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious baby but know that we are all here for you.

_____________

Marlen
Max & Bailey's mommy  
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