Captain

Glad I found this place because I have a lot to get off my chest.

I will start with a description of my Siamese cat Baxter. 8 years ago I never wanted a cat but my now-ex got him. The ex and I ended up splitting up about a year later and she didn't want to keep him. That worked out perfectly for me because I'd grown quite fond of him that first year and he'd taken to me more than her. Up until that point I'd only had dogs and had a bad (the wrong!) impression of cats. Over the next 7 years Baxter proved himself to be the most loyal and loving pet I've ever owned. Through all of the ups and downs of life he was always by my side and was a wonderful companion. I worked a travelling job for years. That job kept me from developing lasting human relationships of any kind (all of my friends lived far away), so Baxter went everywhere with me. He became my best friend in the process and the only constant in my life.

About six months ago I moved into a new home with a new roommate. I had recently gotten another job and was about to finally stay put in one spot. Last Friday, I got up at 7am, rushed to get ready for work, went out to my car, pulled out of the driveway and then turned onto the main road. As I started driving I saw a familiar-colored lump lying on the road. My jaw dropped and I said "That CAN'T be..." I turned the car around and went back to the lump. It was Baxter, dead in the road. His bottom half was completely smashed. I cannot explain the shock I felt at that moment. I am still not over this shock and I doubt I ever will be. I went to bed the night before with him lying by side only to find him dead the following morning.

I stopped a few other cars driving down the road. I immediately took off my jacket and scooped Baxter up and returned home. There, I made him a little coffin and placed all of his favorite things inside. Then I went to a nice spot of forest near my house, dug a hole and buried him. I did all of this rather quickly, almost in some kind of autopilot panic mode, almost if I couldn't bear to accept what had happened. After I was done and all was quiet, I literally collapsed on ground in tears. I am not a crier but I have never cried so hard in my entire life over anything or anyone as I did last week. Now I feel like such a failure. This beautiful, gentle soul entrusted me to take care of and protect him and I ultimately let him down. And to die such a horribly violent death on top of that is almost too much for me to handle.

So how did he get outside? Well, as it turns out my roommate came home drunk at around 2am and left both the garage door AND the side door wide open. On several previous occasions I'd found he left both the garage and side door open and asked him politely to remember to close them. That he ignored my simple request repeatedly is a hard enough pill to swallow but his reaction to what happened to Baxter is the even worse part. His response? "Don't be such a f [gay slur]. It's only a cat." It took everything in my power not to punch him in the face right then and there.

I have not spoken to him since. I do not want to even look at him. I am so angry and I'm not feeling any less angry days later. And now I am possibly stuck for six more months in a house with this... thing. I will not even refer to it as human any longer. Leaving the door open after repeated requests not to do so is one thing but then his comment after is simply unforgivable. But I also need to accept that at the end of the day this person was my choice of roommate and my poor decision making has led to Baxter's death. I doubt I will ever be fully over this.

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catiebee
My heart goes out to you very much, Captain. What an absolute nightmare! It's profoundly shocking to even read what happened, let alone for you to have had to live through the loss and the unbelievable roommate's role and his attitude. 

I am so, so sorry. I wish I knew what to say, but that is beyond outrageous. I wish you every ounce of comfort and healing possible.
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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CK1991
Captain: I agree with Catie. This sounds like a nightmare. Sometimes things happen that are simply beyond our control. There was no way you could foresee that your roommate would leave these doors open after you had asked him not to and also that your beloved Baxter would go outside before you woke up. What you described about finding Baxter is horrible but it does sound like he wouldn't have suffered. Your roommate's comments come from a place of ignorance and you can't let that get to you. Six months will go by quickly and you can get a new place. The things to keep in mind are that you were good to Baxter, he was happy and he went quickly even though it looked so horrible and I'm sorry you had to find him like that. It's hard to look for anything positive at a time like this but another thing I can point out is that you did find him. If you hadn't noticed him on the road and someone had moved his body, you might never have known what happened to him. You gave him a loving burial and I think this would have made him very happy. I'm sorry for your loss. You loved Baxter and he loved you. I hope your happy memories of him will bring some peace to your heart.
Hugs to you!
CK
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Chelle_10
wow I am so sorry about your loss. Baxter sounded like such an amazing cat, he was simply your best friend not just a cat. I completely understand you and its okay to be angry. Take all the time and energy to grieve, rest and do anything possible to stay away from any bad energy. Hugs to you.
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exburt
The most infuriating post I've ever read on RB. For what it's worth, you have my sympathy. 

Unless there's a pressing need, there's no reason for you to talk to your roommate again. Ever. In five months, give your notice, pack up, get out, don't look back, and move somewhere safe for pets. 

Most of all, try to stop blaming yourself. There's no way you knew what this roommate was. You can't beat yourself up for not being a mind reader. Now you know what he is, and can take the steps you need to get away.

This is 100% on your roommate. 

You sound like a great cat daddy. Once you get somewhere safe, I hope you make room in your life for another kitty. I'm sure there's are cats out there looking for someone like you. 
B Weinstein
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PJRN007
I'm so sorry.  This is totally inexcusable and shameful.  I agree with Exburt completely.  
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Lamont
Oh, my. That is a really messed up situation. You must be a very mature, even - tempered person, compared to me anyway. Our late cat, Bertie was an escape artist, and after it was obvious she had to be kept inside or she'd go native, my wife left a door open and Bertie rocketed up a tree and over our fence, was gone for 2 long days. I was beside myself with anger, and was not exactly nice about it. 

Bertie came home looking like something that crawled out of the sewer, but at least we got her back. This thing with your roomate, though. Dreadful.
Bertie's Daddy
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xxcesarxx
Many people have made ignorant comments to me about my dog, i can't wait to see their faces when I am reunited with my dog in heaven, and I say : see he was not just a dog, my pets life matters to my maker hes here with me now!
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Shortnsassy87
I’m so sorry. I lost a cat in a very similar situation years ago when my husband intentionally let my Sebastian out against my orders, and the next thing I know, animal control was knocking on our door. A neighbor had run him over without knowing he was behind the car he was backing out. I could never forgive him for killing my baby. Reading what your roommate did fills me with rage as he shows such little regard for life. Animals lives are no less valuable than human life, and our pets are not “just cats” but full fledge members of our family. We put my Beowulf to sleep Tuesday and I truly feel as if I’ve lost my baby. My chest has a hole where my heart was ripped out still beating. I don’t know how to let him go.
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jeffreyburcham
Captain,

Your self-restraint towards your a**hole of a roommate (being kind with my words, trust me) is a testament to the kind soul you are.

Me, I wouldn't have been so kind of a soul.

I have had the honor and pleasure of several felines coming into my life. I miss all of them. I am so sorry for your loss and the devastation it is causing you, all thanks to some worthless drunkard nobody.

May peace find you, you will be reunited with Baxter. I believe our babies never truly leave us, especially cats.

Jeffrey
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Jules_Anne
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. Almost 2 months ago my 80 year old father ran over our cross Shapei/Boxer. Once the shock wore off my grief was so overwhelming and I still feel such anger towards my father.
He says it was an accident and how can I blame him but I do. So I really understand how angry you are at your roommate.
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Captain
It's been awhile since I checked back but wanted to tell everyone thank you so much for the comments. I'm also surprised I was able to hold it together under the circumstances. Everything happened so quickly and was such a shock I think I went on autopilot just to cope with it.

I only acknowledge the roommate in passing now and want nothing to do with him. He still hasn't apologized for what he did but I wouldn't accept it now even if he did so he may as well not even bother.

No one will ever replace Baxter but I have decided that I'm going to do something positive in his honor. Once I'm out of here and have my own place that's safe I'm going to adopt a couple of cats from the shelter and give them a nice home for the rest of their lives.
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ChronicallyAce
Captain, I'm so sorry about Baxter. Reading what happened made my heart hurt so bad. I'm not a violent person at all but I can't imagine what I would have done if I had been in your situation. I can't believe anyone would be that callous. I'm sure it'll b a huge relief when you can get away from your roommate.

I hope you're doing a little better, and I think it's wonderful that you're wanting to adopt some cats from a shelter and give them a forever home. Any cat would be lucky to have you as their guardian.

I lost my boy Dante 2 weeks ago. Like you, I've been thinking of what I can do to honor his memory. I think that when I'm ready to adopt a cat again, I really want to adopt a special needs cat. Dante was one, he had a lot of health problems, and I think it's hard for kitties like that to find a good home.
Dante
3/19/2013 - 5/4/2018
You are gone, my special boy, but I will love you forever. R.I.P.
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ForMitookie_03
Hi Captain,

When I read your initial post I was absolutely horrified by what you experienced.  I am just so glad that you saw him and were the last to hold him.  It would have been awful to never know what happened to him.  I don't know if I would have had your restraint.  How awful to have to stuff the rage you must have felt toward that awful human being of a room mate.  My Mitookie was a Siamese.  He was not a pure bred cat but he had all of the classic Siamese characteristics.  I will never be able to replace him.  I do have another cat that I love just as much, but there was just something special about my meezer.  He was definitely a soul-mate. 

I think it is wonderful that you have chosen to honor Baxter by adopting two kitties.  I know they will be loved and cared for and I know Baxter will approve. 

I hope the coming days bring with them a peaceful outlook.  Time passes so quickly, so before you know it, you will be free of the burden you are currently stuck with. 

Take care of yourself,

Marina
Marina ~ Mitookie's Mom
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