Floriane
My name is Flo, I'm aged 42 and I live in France.

I lost my beloved cat Alexandre last Wednesday. He was 17.
The past year had been saddened with a hard gengivitis and a mouth ulcer, but we had managed to face it. Then in December, he started having some kind of little nervous crisises looking like epilepsy. They didn't last long, just a few seconds, one minute at most, but I was scared every time that happened. The vet didn't really know what this was about.
On February 14, early in the morning, he had another crisis but this one didn't stop so my aunt and I (we live together) immediately took him to the vet's. He tried some Valium injections, no success. He had no other option then than perfusing him and placing him in an artificial coma.
The day next, we were allowed to visit him, and he had opened his eyes, looked at me, tried to purr, then went back to sleep. I was a little relieved and had thought that maybe he would feel better again.
But on Wednesday morning, as I called to get news, the assistant told me that the crisis had started again.
My aunt and I decided that we no longer wanted him to suffer, and we told the vet to put him to sleep. As we didn't want to attend this, we waited in the waiting room. We had brought with us a little blue box filled with his favourite blankets and a picture of ourselves to enclose to it.
The vet laid him inside the box and told us to come after she had finished. We kisssed him millions of times, closed the box, went back home and buried him in our garden, right behind the box tree bush that he loved so much.

I've been crying every day since then, I just can't seem not to be able to overcome his passing away. I get the feeling that I never will, I'm like lost in another world, and I'm so tired. Alex and I had a symbiotic relationship, he was my baby, the love of my life. We'd been together since 1993, I saw him and his twin sister being born, I bottlefed him, we fought diabetes together and won the battle, along with a few other diseases that were minor. I knew that his health has started to decline but I so much had the hope that he would celebrate his 18th birthday on March 11.

I feel so guilty about having him put to sleep but on another way, there was no other way...

I have to be strong for his sister, Amandine, who's sad, my aunt and  I try to comfort her, kiss her all the time, we do our best but just like us, she needs time...

It's all so sad, so unfair...
Below a pic of my babies. Alex is on the right, Amandine, on the left.



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judylinn
Floriane. I am so sorry about your loss. Your cats are so beautiful!!
Even when it is for the best for our beloved babies, it hurts so so much. Trying talking to Amandine, I believe that they can hear us on one level, the talking about Alex will help both of you, as your right Amandine will be grieving as well.
I had to release my beloved Maddie, and my heart has been broken, though I'm progressing. It will get better. I thought I could never survive the loss of Maddie, but it is getting better and better, though the love never goes away.
This is very new for you, allow the grief to pour out of you, thats the best way to healing. We will be here to support you as well. My love and prayers are there for you and your family including Amandine.
Alex is still around you, she is your little angel now. Judy
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chipperboy
Hello Flo,

I am so very sorry for your loss of Alexandre. What a beautiful boy with beautiful eyes! I also love the little spot on his nose! Very cute!

We here at Rainbow Bridge completely understand your grief and sadness. I, in particular, can relate to your relationship with Alex. I had my baby over 15 years and we had been through many major life events together. It is sad and it does seem unfair! You will probably find yourself wondering if you did the right thing, could you have done more, etc. I know I did when I released Chipper. My head knew it was the right thing to do.....oh, but my heart was screaming to have him back!

Judylinn is right, it will get better, but it is a process......a journey each one of us take. One step at a time.....one moment at a time. We will be here for you the whole way.

Chipper's Mom

Momma's Chipper Boy (9/19/95 - 1/30/11)
Oh, how I miss you my sweet boy! I love you forever!
Chipper's Mom

Momma's Chipper Boy (9/19/95 - 1/30/11) My heart, my love, my buddy! I miss you and love you so, so much! I can't wait to see you at the bridge! Love, Mommy

Lady "Ladybugs" (8/2/03 - 6/5/17) My sweet girl. Thanks for the walks, playtime, sock collection, boo boo kisses and love you gave all of us. We will miss you dearly! Until we meet again...we love you!
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nicokudo
Flo,

I am so sorry about the loss of your precious Alexandre.  This is such a cute picture of your two babies.  We all know the pain that you are feeling today and hope that one day you will find peace that your baby is no longer in his physical form.

I remember so well when my Nico and Kudo died.  It seemed like I walked around in a daze for months. I would constantly cry, think of them and cry some more. Tears are part of the healing process.

Thinking of you.

Karen



  

Karen,Kudo and Nico's mom
Earth mom to Marco and Bella
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cleonora
Flo, I am so sorry for your loss and can feel your pain.  I too recently lost my baby who was only a few day old when he came into my life.  Alexandre was your loving companion for 17 years and there are many memories that were made in those years.  Realize that the grief that you feel is normal and appropriate.  What horrible people we would be if we did not mourn the loss of a loving companion.

This is not the first time I have had to say goodbye to a furry friend.  It never gets easier and the amount of tears are just as much each time. However, I do know that it is a process and that you must allow yourself the time you need to grieve.  Eventually the happy memories will outweigh the sad ones. That knowledge is what sustains me right now.

Alexandre had a wonderful life with you and knew that he was loved. That is a wonderful gift that you gave him - a lifetime of love.
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Susie_Squillions
Dear Floriane,

Soft tears are gently falling as I type this.  Your story of loving and losing Alexandre touches my heart and hits close to home for me.  A year ago on March 9th, I had to release the love of my momcat life, T.J. to Rainbow Bridge. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I know it was the right thing to do for him. Keeping him here another moment would have been for me, not for him.  My heart breaks for you. T.J. and I shared a bond much like the one you had with Alexandre, and we were also brought together in 1993. We must both remember that those bonds are never broken; they last forever and always.

Please try to release the guilt you feel now.  You would have done anything possible to have changed things for Alexandre if you could have. He knows that as well as you do. In the end, you released him from his suffering knowing your own would just begin.  There is no greater gift of love than that.

Please come back and tell us more about Alexandre and all the thing tht made him such a special part of your life for 17 years.  What a blessing that the two of you shared his time on earth!

You, your aunt, Amandine and your handsome Angel Alexandre are all in my thoughts and prayers.

xoxoxo


My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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creampuff

Dear Floriane, I am so sorry for your loss of precious Alexandre.  As others have written, you have come to the right place, a place where you will find comfort and understanding.  We have all lost little ones and we are all missing them dearly.  We understand your tears, we have many tears, too.  We cry with you, Floriane.  And we hope that precious memories of Alexandre will begin to heal your heart as the days go by. Thank you for sharing your sweet picture of Alexandre and Amandine.  We care about you.   Jane

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Floriane
Thanks to all for your comforting messages.

There are days when I feel slightly better and days like yesterday when I can't help bursting out in tears several times the day. It actually tires me, gives me headaches and a strong anxiety but I can't help it. I try to focus on my job (don't even know how I can manage it but I do...), change my ideas, I try to think about my Alex when he was fit and strong, but most of the time, the images I get are those of him being at the end of his life at the vet's office. He passed away on a sunny day and every time I see the sun it reminds me of this sad event. When days are grey, I feel a little very little better, but sunny days are for now associated to his death and we've had many sunny days over here for one week or so.

My aunt seems to overcome this better than I do, maybe the fact that she's 20 years older than me has an impact on how she feels.

Amandine is not the same any more as well. She used to be such a nosey little cat with eyes full of curiosity. And now her face is sad, her eyes as well, she mews as she if cried or shouted. We do our best to try and relieve her, she's never alone in the house, we stroke and kiss her 1000 times a day, but there are no big changes and I think that the fact that she senses my grief doesn't help.



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marty

Some times you just have to let-go.   They grow old and with health conditions just like us.  They are sick and just want to pass with grace.  You were an great mom.  Your cats are beautiful.   Be humble enough to know that you gave him a great life and remember the best times, not the bad.   None of our fur babies live as long as we do.   I made an promise to my animals that I was there at the beginning and will be there at the end.   The end wasn't pleasant but the start of their life was.   That is the part that I will remember.-----Marty and critters

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Floriane
Thank you Marty. Yes, I know that there comes a time when we have to let go, but it's so hard. A lot of people tell me that I've been a very good mum and that there is a time when people get separated from each other because that's the way life turns, and I understand it, but the grief is so strong. He would have turned 18 today. This morning, my aunt wished a Happy Birthday to Amandine and I suddenly realized that  I completely had forgotten that it is Amandine's birthday too today and immediately kissed her Happy Birthday.

A friend of mine who communicates with animals reported me after talking to Alex that he is constantly around me as a guardian angel and that he doesn't want me to be sad because the last gesture I had for him (and that makes me feel so guilty) relieved him from pain, and the fact that we located his little grave close to us is great to him because he can see us and we can see "him". Sometimes these words relieve me, sometimes they don't because not to be able to see him except on pictures, to stroke him and kiss him really is awful.
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marty

I'm so sorry that you are having such an hard time.   Loosing an fur-babie lots of times Is worse than loosing an humane.    You are an good Mom and you did the best you could.   AIHA Is an terrible diease and If I ever come up against it again, I'm not sure what I will do.   I personally have only come across one cat that had It. Most that have this diease Is dogs.  Doctors rather It be In your part of the world or mine just don't know what causes It.  You gave your baby an good life and he was 17.  That tells an whole different storie right there.   For 17 years you cared for him.  That's an long time.  Happy Birthday to your babie from me and all of my critters In the U.S.  You'll be okay---You won't ever forget but you'll move on.  It will be slow but healing does happen.  Max was so tried and sick.  I couldn't stand there and put my feelings above what he was going thu.  It was his time and I had to let go for he was suffering.  What you did Is what an Mom does.  She doesn't allow her babies to suffer.    I wish you only the best and at some time "peace" In your heart.   He's still close to you.   Allow your head and heart to clear and he will come back to you In your dreams.   Hugs to you and peace-------------Marty and critters

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Domina
Bon anniversaire Amandine!


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marty

Good-----GLAD to hear It.   Again, Happy Birthday to the babie of your life.  May all of you find peace.   Peace Is the answer to all of our tears and heart-aches.  Death Is an terrible thing to those of us that still live, but an blessing to those that are In pain from day to day.  Hugs to all-----------Marty and critters

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