I lost 2 of my precious dogs this week.  Both 14 years old.  My Hallie I have loved since she was a puppy.  She had gotten despondent and frail and I knew her time was near.  My little boy, Scout, I had only loved for a year. I pulled him out of a shelter, thinking I would give him a good life for as long as he lasted.  He, too, had become so frail and weak.  I am struggling so with who they passed.  I should have had the decency to put them down when they were stronger.  Not let them suffer and grow so old and frail and weak.  I neglected them.  I have other dog, and such a very busy life with work and kids.  i took on way way more than I should. And as a result, these precious little being suffered, alone a lot, with poor quality of life.  In the end, I had not spent enough time with them.  I am tormented with guilt.  I have no way to make it up to them now.  I have no way to ask their forgiveness and make it right.  I am a horrible person, no less than an abuser.  I feel like such a failure.  I have not way to make sure they understand I'm so sorry, and that I love them so much.   I do.  I loved them then too. I am so overwhelmed.  how can I forgive myself?  How can they forgive me so they won't feel the pain of my not being there for them like I should have been.  I am so sorry.  i love them so much. 
Quote 0 0
Joslin...first let me say how sorry I am for the loss of your two companions....try not to beat yourself up about a dog a home for 14 yrs, rescuing a dog from a shelter are GOOD things!  Probably all of us feel at one time or another we haven't spent enough time with our pet..I know I have.  Making the decision to help your pet cross the bridge comes with guilt feelings too so no matter how the end comes, it isn't easy to handle.  It took a couple of days for me to reach that decision with my Jake.  I felt I was keeping him alive for me and not because letting go was best for him.

I feel certain your dogs knew you loved them and they you...I am sure you got a tail wag or two each day.

I hope this poem I found on another site may bring you some peace and healing....

Letter From Your Pet in Heaven

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from the Bridge, where I dwell with God above.
There's no more tears of sadness here, just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy, just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you, every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me, and He said, "I welcome you."

"It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on."

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you - in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years,
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry: it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you, all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are rocky roads ahead of you, and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it, by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy, and I'd like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody, who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night - "My day was not in vain."

And now I am contented, that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along. I made somebody smile.

God says: "If you meet somebody, who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go."

When you're walking down the street, with me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind. 

And when it's time for you to go, from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going...
you're coming here to me."

Quote 0 0
Im so sorry for your loss. that is a hard story  for you have to bear. It is very good that you could be honest with yourself, and know that you could have done better. we have all being there at times. You can ask for foregiveness, they are there on the spirit plain , but just asking for the forgiveness, and acknowledging your own failings is helpful. I still ask maddie's foregiveness for my failings.  then you need to learn to forgive yourself. that may take some time. let the grief pour out of you. Im sure you did love them, but all you can do now is raise your awareness on what it takes to have animals, and only have what you can handle.
Guilt is a very hard thing when are pets pass. Alot of us seem to suffer from it for various reasons. I can hear your pain...please know that you can always come here, and we will be here for you.
Hallie and Scout are free from pain now.
You are in my prayers, and again I am very sorry.  Judy
I really repect your honesty. the best thing you can do now that you have more awarenes, is to not ever repeat whatever mistakes you feel you made.

Quote 0 0
Your precious babies know that you loved them and that you would have given them more time if you were not so overwhelmed.  Sometimes, life just gets in the way.  You need to forgive yourself and move past the overwhelming grief that is associated with it.  Your babies are safe now and free from pain and suffering.  You have learned from the experience and surely will not make the same mistake again.  That is all we can do.  Learn from our mistakes and do better next time.  Your babies love you and I am sure they are looking down lovingly, watching over you.  My precious Ted was hit by a car on 7/7 so I understand the guilt that goes a long with failing to keep our babies safe and free from pain.   What I wouldn't give for to get those few minutes back.  Try to remember the good times.  That is what will get you through.  Let the guilt go, it does not accomplish anything.  I hope you feel better very soon.  I am so sorry for your loss.
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
Quote 0 0

Bumping this one.

Tootie ~ Sep. 1, 2000 - Sep. 4, 2010
Shine on you beautiful diamond!
Blueboy ~ Feb. 14, 1989 - Dec. 31, 1993
Always in my heart!
Quote 0 0