CNikki
We knew for some time that because she was slowing down within the recent months that 'the time' is only going to get closer each day that went by. Just a week ago she still had some spring in her by jumping up on the couch and beds, along with wanting affection. She's lost weight where it's becoming visible - and one of the ways known was that you don't see the cysts to which we previously thought were cancerous some years ago; they likely started to 'cave in' with the rest of her, and God knows how thin she became since. When she tries to get down from the couch or bed her hind legs barely give support and at some points she has them drag. When seeing her go into the litter box it seems like it takes extra effort for her to do something - even if it's a little bit. Then to top it off, we see that one side of her face is beginning to swell up and look uneven.

I've had a dog and cat put down due to cancer. I can see that it is likely what she has with what ever else the vet might find. We were able to get an available slot for tomorrow on her appointment and see if anything can be done (which is doubtful, also considering her age.) If the options are straightforward then we will likely need a day or two to have her come back home so that we can spend what time there is left. But I also don't want to see her go through the pain that my previous pets had because we were selfish and didn't want to let go. I'm trying to get some 'extra time' by laying next to her as she's becoming more listless and only eats some portion of her food. This cat is technically our second out of the four - the oldest who was put down back in 2018. As selfish as it is, I was hoping that we can spend one more birthday and Christmas so that she can get the most out of it while possible. But it doesn't look like it will happen.

I just need somewhere to vent and in some way connect. How to cope when realizing that your pet is likely not going to last much longer? I'm trying to think that the sooner we get it done then we've done the right thing so she won't be in pain anymore. But because she's been with us for sixteen years and the thought that each pet eventually is simply gone from this world is all too brief and no way reversed. I keep thinking about the first day we adopted her. I wish I've spent more time even though she favored my mother. I have to step out at some points because it's too much.
A story contains many chapters. The ones we love may come in one chapter and go in another. Once all of the chapters of the story has been read, it is then we understand that all those fleeting moments comes a beautiful message that brings our way back to how it all had started - love. 
Quote 0 0
CNikki
Update: Just got home from the vet's. They say that there's a good chance she has cancer (we would have to have blood tests to know and those are very expensive), but for now it could be old age just kicking in... They didn't see anything around the ears and mouth where we suspected something was starting to grow. I'm still leery about it. But they say that if it does get worse then to 'bring her in'. At least we have a bit more time with her than we thought (at least from where we stand for now.) She's lying on my bed and finished a little bit more of her food. Was given prescriptions that will be started tomorrow to help ease some with her hind legs. Will give any further updates as appropriate. Thank you for reading. <3
A story contains many chapters. The ones we love may come in one chapter and go in another. Once all of the chapters of the story has been read, it is then we understand that all those fleeting moments comes a beautiful message that brings our way back to how it all had started - love. 
Quote 0 0
roseblue1
Really hope you get that extra time...it sounds like she has had an amazing life with you and loves you very much. 

Take care.
Ellen x
Ellen Hague
Quote 0 0
CNikki
Thank you for the response. Here's a small update:

The suspected area on her face where I felt that a tumor might be forming seems to be more apparent now. I keep feeling around the area and there feels a weird little lump, and it's making it difficult for her to open that eye since she's tiny and has a small face. This is not something new for us since my dog had this issue, but not around the eye area. I'm a bit disappointed with the vet we had to inspect her since she said that she didn't detect anything as she looked within the ears and mouth. Maybe it so happened to have started forming shortly after, I don't know.

We knew (or at least I have) that she is likely not going to make her seventeenth birthday in November, nor Christmas the month after. I did buy some toys and catnip for my cats to enjoy, and I might give out some extra treats. I have to smash the treats up and mix with wet food since she has a harder time to chew those down. I'm trying not to think about it, but at the end of the day I have to. We may have some extra time than we thought, but it's likely going to start ticking louder now. I want to be there as well as my mother (since she's the favored human) there when 'it' happens. This isn't fair... T_T
A story contains many chapters. The ones we love may come in one chapter and go in another. Once all of the chapters of the story has been read, it is then we understand that all those fleeting moments comes a beautiful message that brings our way back to how it all had started - love. 
Quote 0 0