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Lilbabyded

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Reply with quote  #1 
My 10 year old bishon frise, she's an angle.
I had her since I was about 8 or 9 and she changed my world. The though of loosing her results in isolation and depression giving me anxiety attack regularly. I have trouble motivating myself to go to work, I cannot stand to leave the house. I don't know how to properly coup with the though of loosing my animals. I just cremated my bearded dragon a few months back and to this day the last breath he took in my arms still haunts my soul and drains my health. I just switched her to expresice solid gold food that's formulated for bishons and money is not a issue when it comes to her. I took her to get heartworm and tick tested today and everything was negative and paid for a year supply of heartgard. I'm in school to be a vet and after this dwelling on me. I don't think I can be a vet . I am in desperate need of a hug and someone to cry to because when I look in her eyes I instantly brake down at the fact I will love without her which would be impossible to do so. I just need prayers please. Her cold nose warms my heart was she sniffs all over me giving me endless kisses. That is, until I start to sob and cry, she runs away cause she does not like it. I am on ADHD medicine and it helps but jot enough to focus on work when I have her on my mind 24/7. I need something to ease my mind. My racing thoughts, no one understands how much a animals means to someone. Some days I feel like taking my own life to be with my parents who both passed away when I was 5 and 10 and I would patiently be waiting for my dog to meet with me again. But then I know shed miss me on this earth. Please help me...

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sarab

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Reply with quote  #2 
First, I'm really sorry you are having such a difficult time.  What you are experiencing seems to be crippling and I can't help but be concerned about you.  I used to have anticipatory grief over my Teddy before he actually passed but I also realized that I needed to try and focus on the here and now otherwise I would miss all the precious days I still had with him.  I knew the mourning with his passing would inevitably come and I really tried to just enjoy and celebrate his life when he was with me.  I know that is nearly impossible to do when you are having other difficulties such as your anxiety attacks, ADHD and possibly depression.  I hope you will reach out to a professional counselor for help.  It sounds like you really do need that help.  The fact that you are in vet school says a lot about your love of animals and I hope you are able to stick with it because we always need good, caring vets in our world.  Your pup is precious. You're right, a lot of people don't understand love for an animal but everyone here at this forum does.  We understand that close attachment you have and I hope you will find comfort and solace with us all.  Take care.  I will pray for you.  Sara
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Lilbabyded

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Reply with quote  #3 
I cried reading this thank you. I get excited the time I am off work to know I'm headed home and shell be in the window waiting for me.
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sarab

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Reply with quote  #4 
I've been thinking of you and hoping you are enjoying the weekend with your sweet pup by your side.  Enjoy every moment with her.  Prayers and God's blessings on you.  Sara
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Lilbabyded

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Reply with quote  #5 
Thank you, but I am currently working, I work 7 days a weeks but I spend all my time with her when I am home and snuggle in bed with her
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gizmomybaby

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Reply with quote  #6 
I understand a million % how u feel my baby's are my world & one has a nasel tumour he was to get pts 2 years ago but a fought a battle reasrching how to keep him healthy x a suffer from depression & anxiety and a cant bare to lose my baby's am always with them and they sleep with me so I understand totally x x remember your wee baby still needs you x blessings Annemarie
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kayeen

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Reply with quote  #7 
I feel you! it makes me cry hopefully that soon you will be okay. Just remember that your puppy will there for your side no matter what. 
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Flowerbed

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Reply with quote  #8 
Hi thinking of you ... I’ve had anticipatory grief for our Bichon who has been diagnosed with heart murmur ( emergency treatment 2 and half years ago ) and diabetes 7 months ago how you are feeling is normal ... it is very upsetting .. and exhausting ... please keep us posted .. Bichons are adorable aren’t they? Very demanding but adorable ... she is our princess aged 13 and a half since a pup please give us update and sending a cyber hug to you
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