Thank you all for sharing. I am so glad I found this site. It is a terrible occurrence to have to share with others but it is greatly comforting that others are experiencing the same grief. A well-meaning friend told me to just get another cat. People that are not close to their pets or those whom have never had pets just don't get it. I wake up every morning and listen, expecting to hear him singing in the hall.
On the day he died, I sat out on the porch for an hour with him on my lap, just so he could have his last lap time. I couldn't bear the thought of burying him without doing that. He did love it so. It IS getting better though and I know the pain will fade. I guess we just convinced ourselves that he would be the cat that grew old with us and would die a peaceful death in his sleep. God must have had other plans for him.
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened" - Anatole France