Wileykitten
Tomorrow is 8 weeks without my keeten. I miss him terribly.... I feel so numb as I write this but I needed to write this. I keep looking
at his picture and I just can't believe hes gone. 15 years and now hes gone and imust live the rest of my life without my best friend. I can't believe the rest of my days, holidays, landmark events, heartaches, and good news he will not be here like he was for 15 years. Im trying so hard to accept this... my head has but my heart cannot.
Someone titled a post here "bone breaking pain" and thats exactly how it feels... my heart soul bones crushed under the weight of unearthly sadness... I don't know what to do. I tried to watch a video of him the other day and I fell apart...
I want my keeten back, God... u don't.need him the way I do. He was my best friend, confidant, playmate, comedian, comforter...
how do I go on without him now?
15 years.... now I am left alone with this gaping hole where my heart should be.
God help me please

I love u Wiley.. im sorry I can't let go (((hugs))) :_(
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Missingmysweetboy
I completely understand how you feel. I was trying to describe my pain to someone today and I just couldn't find the words. It really is indescribable. The grief is so overwhelming that you almost feel your heart will burst open at any second. I never knew I had so many tears. 

I don't have the answers, I just try to get through each hour, each day in hopes that maybe tomorrow will be a little bit better. It hasn't been so far, but I will keep hoping.

I think our pets show us the truest form of love there is and we give them that back as well. It's the perfect relationship, not the complicated ones that we have with humans. I think that's why it is so hard to move on. It's just a true and pure form of love.

I hope your Wiley and my Jaxon have met at the bridge. I would take comfort in that, and they will wait for us until we get there. I have to have that Faith, if nothing else.

Keep writing. I've written Jaxon each day since he passed over and it helps. It is the highlight of my day to write to him.

I will pray for you to find strength and peace.

Big hugs!
Jennifer
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Wileykitten
thank you, Jennifer xoxo im so sorry about Jaxon. Yes im sure they've met in Heaven as they wait for us... I can't stop crying tonight :_(

((hugs))
-Stacie
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Luxeria
I understand completely how you feel .  I just lost my Miko almost 2 weeks ago, and she had just turned a year and she hasn't even been with me for a year.  It has been a tough time, but I know we will get through it.  God must have needed our kitties up there in heaven for some reason that we may not know until we see them again.  All I know is that I miss my baby girl terribly, and she was too young to pass away.  And your Wiley, I know he is watching over you.  He loves you as my Miko loves me.  
I'm sure they are watching over us as our little angels. 
My mother told me, that God put them in our lives for a reason, and I am positive that you made Wiley's life the happiest he could ever have.  If he had any other family in this world, I'm sure he wouldn't have been as happy as when he was with you.  And now that hes gone, he will always watch over you.  He doesn't want you to cry for him.  He wants you to remember all the happy moments you shared together.  It is hard to loose a furbaby.  It rips a piece of your heart out and you feel empty.  I know.  Everyone on this site knows that feeling.  But know that Wiley wouldn't want you to be sad.  I bet you right now, hes smiling down at you, waiting for the day that he will see you again.  
Just like mine, and everyone else's furbabies are waiting for them. :)

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sassymom
Stacie, you have been so supportive. I really appreciate it. Stay positive, they are still with us in spirit. I believe I got a sign from Sassy today. I found a white feather inside my garage this morning, when I got home from work. I was asking her for a sign, and it was there, right in my path. It's a month today, I miss her so much, it hurts. I hope you feel better.
shellina
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HuntersDad

I understand completely, our babies loved us unconditionally, and brought us so much love and joy. There isn’t an inch in my home that doesn’t have a memory of my little Hunter attached to it. I miss him lying on the paper that I’m trying to read, or hear him purr when giving him hugs and kisses, or to see the joy and excitement in his eyes when we played with his favorite toy. Yea I too have a gaping hole where my heart once was. It doesn’t seem to be getting easier for me, I just miss my Hunter. Thank you for sharing Wileys story with us, and letting me weep with you. Wishing you peace and keeping you in my prayers. I also wanted to thank you for your compassionate replies to my post; they mean so much to me.

Mark (HuntersDad).
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newpetowner

Stacie, when I first posted about Fiver, you were the first person to come to my rescue. 

This has been a trauma for you, so it is going to take time. 8 weeks is still extremely fresh after knowing someone for 15 years. Another lovely person here has told me that we mourn because we do not know how to go on without the one we lost. We are unsure how to live without them. The person told me that we slowly learn to live with our grief and that only eventually does a sense of peace and acceptance come. But it will come. You will heal.

The kind responses you have given others have been so positive and optimistic so I know those thoughts are in there somewhere. Just keep telling yourself those same things you told us. Repeat repeat repeat:

1) Healing will take time and you will have good days and bad days
2) Don't blame yourself, you did everything you could. Be gentle with yourself.
3) The love between you and your baby is still very much alive
4) God put Wiley in your life for a reason. If you cannot think of a reason, just look at all the people you have helped since you joined this forum.
5) Wiley is in a better place. Such a beautiful soul belongs in heaven.
6) He is waiting for you across the rainbow bridge
7) You are not alone - you have Wiley's brothers and sisters and all of us

I know you miss your meow but he is purring on Jesus's lap as we speak and he does not need to come back. Where he is he is perfect and healthy and showering love on you from there. I understand perfectly how easy it becomes to get mad at God and mad at yourself and mad at the universe. But your baby was very sick and God gave you an opportunity to let Him make Wiley whole again. He had fulfilled his purpose on this earth and his time had come and the Lord brought him home. Wiley's spirit remains all around us and his love remains with you. It is merely our sweethearts' physical form we have lost.
Stay positive, friend. It will all be alright in the end.
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treecee53
Stacie,
I know how you are feeling because I'm feeling the same way.  I can't believe my Rita is gone and I spend a lot of time wandering around the house as if I'm looking for her in every room.   I am dreading the holidays this year because it will not be the same without her. 
I love how you call Wiley your "keeten".  That is such a cute name for him.  I tell myself everyday that Rita would not want me to go to the depths of despair like I'm going to and Wiley doesn't want you to either. He knows he will see you again, but when it's your time.  Wiley is at the bridge telling everyone about his wonderful mom and how lucky he was to have her and how she called him "keeten" 
Unfortunately, we must go through the horrible grief, but we also have to take extra special care of ourselves, the way we gave them extra special care.  They want that for us.
I pray you find healing and peace.
Patrice

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Wileykitten
Wow... How blessed am I right now ((((HUGS)))) Praise be to God for all of u and ur beautiful hearts and kind words xoxo I am tearing up reading what u all said and my tears are from my sadness but also how touched I am that u all care so much to take the time to comfort me... omg today is hard and I needed all of u so much (((HUGS))
Yes I called him my keeten :) so many nicknames in 15 years... so many memories... happy times.... I miss him so much and I am so sad that all of u know this pain and sadness and lost ur precious furchildren. I can only imagine The Bridge and so many animals on it waiting for ther people.... and how it will be to see them all again :_) I cant wait...
I have lost many people and pets but notthing has affected me like Wiley passing. I do have some good days but always end up crying at some point.. last night was bad. I keep thinking 8 weeks ago he was here and 8n weeks ago today was the last day he ran up to me, last day i held him and sang "Best Friend" to him while he snuggled in my arms... last day he looked at me.... last day he heard me say 'I love u'.... last day to touch his beautiful fur... last day...
So I am sad... I will put his posting on the candle tribute tonight, tho it is hard for me to sit thru the actual ceremony still.. I did once but its very emotional. I will continue to say goodmorning and goodnight and tell him about things i could only talk to him about... I just hate living without him. 

Thank u all so much for catching my fall ((((HUGS)))) sometimes i just feel so alone and i know im not but im just not the same without him... You guys are all amazing and I am here for u as well, somehow we will all get thru this pain..
somehow...
Praying God blesses ur hearts with peace xoxo

Love u all,
Stacie 

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treecee53
Stacie,
Right after I posted my reply, I started to cry for me, for you, for everyone on this site.  I went out on the screened porch shortly after to catch a breath of fresh, autumn air and low and behold I saw a white thing on one of the chair cushions.  It was one of Rita's nails!  It was like she was telling me she is still very much with me.  I couldn't believe it!  It seems like when I'm feeling my lowest, she gives me a sign.
I too have lost people in my life but you are right, it does not compare to this grief.  At my age I finally know what true grief is.  I go through all the stages at all different times and I never know when it will hit.
Nights for me are always the most difficult and I pray every night that I will dream about her.
If I get the chance I will participate in the candle ceremony tonight.  I did the first Monday after Rita's passing, but not last week.  It did provide some comfort.
I pray for peace and healing
Patrice
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Missingmysweetboy
How wonderful Patrice! I'm sure you felt comforted and that is so special for Rita to give you that. I pray each day that Jaxon will come to me and let me know he's ok.
I pray for us all that we find the strength to keep moving forward.

Stacie- I am praying for you.

Newpetowner--I absolutely love what you wrote!

Hugs to you all!
Jennifer
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Wileykitten
Blessed be (((hugs)))
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