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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #46 
Thank you Melissa
Yes, it's still very painful and my heart hurts for him! I miss him so much. I feel guilty to feel ok at times. It's just the hardest road I have ever been down. I hope you are doing well in your new life and Scooter's surrounded you with his love. Sincerely Jessica

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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #47 
Hi my Boy
I miss you so much my
I was so happy in the moment I woke up and saw you walking. It was brief ,but I saw you. I pray go God everyday to the Lord to show me visions of my eternal life. AnD I know in my heart he will give me the desired of my heart! He's been after it ever since last year. I know he showed me the hearts B4 you passed. It was a sign to prepare me, so to say! But the loss is not easy. You made such a huge impact in my life, and when I let you go. It was not easy, at all? But this was my job to keep you safe as I always did and tried to keep you healthy. For something like this to happen , was nothing i saw coming. It's like a dream at times. Like the time I lost you when you ran across the street and i was calling you, but you didn't come
I was crying for you ,so sad and lost. Then my friend saw me and clapped his hands and i saw your little self heading home to me. I was so relieved, full of joy! And i thought to myself, if I ever lost you. How would I go on. I can barely get through a day without such grief and sadness co.i g over me
Longing for you to run back home tooe. Bht then i realize that you won't be. Bcuz I had to let you go! I thought your heart was ok. She told me it was. A year later B4 your visit would be the day I lose you and my joy is no longer with me. I'm trying to move on, but i geel constraint at times, where I'm just stuck in a position with my bodily functions unable to move at times. But then I know i can find comfort in knowing that i will ser you again. It's just hard waiting
Please come visit me a little longer, so I can ser your happy little face again.
Mama loves and and misses you so very much.
Love always and forever ❣️ Mama

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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #48 
Hi Jessica, I really appreciate the kind words you always leave for me. Hopefully I'll have more time soon to come on here and stay in touch with all the wonderful people who have been indispensable to me during this very difficult time of grieving.

Like you, I have no doubt that we will be reunited will all our loved ones when we pass, and that includes our fur babies. That is what keeps me going. We will be with them again and will not have to worry about the horrible illnesses or accidents we've had to endure on this earth. Thinking of you.

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          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #49 
Hi Jess...how wonderful you saw Brownie. I haven't "seen" Scooter in a long time. I do believe the Lord gives us glimpses at times so we know they are okay. It is comforting when that happens. But yes, oh how we still miss them, so much. It should be a crime really, to hurt this much! I am sending you a fresh hug and a prayer for comfort.

Love,
Melissa

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- Melissa
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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #50 
Happy Valentine's Day my Boy 💙
It's been 5 full months now and it still feels like the day! I miss your sweet face and smell so very much. House bugging me for outs and treatsies. It's so lonely without you here my Boy. I love you so much. This loss is too hard honey. I planted your Pineapple, but it has took yet. It needs full sun and the cold is delaying. I will get it going. Spring is to close and another Season of missing you. I love you with all my being. My heart is shattered. I can't imagine anything without you, but I have to try Brownie. I don't want you to be sad. I will look forward to seeing you again no matter how long that is. I want us to connect eyes and hearts. That's my wish and I know God will provide this for us. He has to. He brought us together after all. Mama so misses u honey and Grandma seema so sad without you to bug her for crumbs. She misses her babies too much too. Sissy was a moth after you. Sometimes I feel like she let her go bcuz of hours and me. She was old and ready of course. I hope you all are being g good. I love you honey I've always and forever Mama
😘 kiss kiss
My heart 💔 will be full ❤️ when we meet again. Until then please come visit Mama Brownie I love you!

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MyBella

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Reply with quote  #51 
Hi Jessica,

Wishing for your heart to feel the loving, gentle touch of your handsome Brownie's soft paws on this special day.
I love that you planted a pineapple in Brownie's honor, I bet Brownie's love and guidance will help it grow so big, a great tribute to your special boy.

May you always know and feel the light and love that is your Brownie, bringing with his love, the peace and healing you so deserve.

Your Friend, Don
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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #52 
Thank you Don
It's just so hard. When I think I'm ok. It's hits hard. It's not an easy road for sure. I miss him so much. I hope your day is filled with love from your Bella ❤️💕
Sincerely Jessica

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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #53 
Jessica what a beautiful note to your Brownie. Grief for our babies is strange isn't it? And much deeper and longer than I ever thought. Hang in there and I send you hugs and prayers, and understanding.
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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #54 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissingScooty
Jessica what a beautiful note to your Brownie. Grief for our babies is strange isn't it? And much deeper and longer than I ever thought. Hang in there and I send you hugs and prayers, and understanding.




Thank you, yes it sure is. Never could have imagined the pain. Take care of yourself. Jess

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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #55 
My Boy
I miss you so so much Brownie! Mama misses everything about you and us. It's hard trying to find myself. I just dont feel the same anymore. I'm not happy, I'm not motivated. I'm empty, but bnbim trying to go through this the best I can. I looked at rescue Dogs online today and saw 2 that reminded me of you. One was va girl and she could be your sister. Them eyes were you all the way. similar markings and colors too! She was 8. A Boy Blue was his name. Reminded me if you as well. It's just hard to know if I am ready. I'm beating myself up, but this is the cycle they say. I'll always love you honey, Mamas Boy will never be forgotten. You were my everything and it makes it so hard to let go. I dont want to, but I need to pull myself up a bit. I'm to depressed and empty feeling. But I know the good Lord will reu its us again. The way he brought us together. We cross paths for a reason in life, all of us. It's what I choose to believe. We are sa ll connected. Even now, I need to let myself feel the connection. I will in time, I love u so much Brownie. My Handsom man. Always and forever a part of me. Kiss kiss 😘🍀🦎🦎🐾

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CK1991

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Reply with quote  #56 
Hi Brownie74, I’m sorry for your loss! It’s hard to know when the right time to get another dog is. It’s been a long time since I lost 2 little dogs and I still don’t feel ready yet. I find it comforting to come here and empathize with others and I’m not sure if I’m ready yet but maybe when I retire. My one suggestion would be to look for a dog who doesn’t look a lot like Brownie so you don’t compare them. You want to be able to give your whole heart to a new dog and that dog will be very fortunate to have you! I’ve heard that you should wait at least 6 months and then if you’re ready to go ahead. I don’t know if this helps. I hope so and I hope you find peace and healing. Brownie would want that for you. Hugs to you!
CK
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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #57 
Hi CK
Thank you for the imput, it always helps! It's been 6 months. I know, I dont think I'd be able to get a look a like. It was so sad looking at the girl I saw. I like the Breed though. His personality was great. We were such a great fit for each other. I must that! I may have babied him a lil too much though. It I was over protective of him for sure. Maybe i need a little bigger dog. Looking dont seem natural, I guess bcuz Brownie just wandered by, and no one ever claimed him, so we kept him as our own. I do feel empty, my life revolved around him. But I need to do things differently this time. I thank u for your words. Sincerely Jess

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MyBella

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Reply with quote  #58 
Hi Jessica,

So sorry for the most difficult time you are going through, the grief can truly be like a roller coaster of emotions, with some days hitting us harder than others, but please believe me when I say it does get better with time, don't push or rush yourself, grieving is a process which we unfortunately have to go through, always know that we here on this forum completely understand and are here for you, so never, ever hesitate to reach out to me or anyone on here, we are all in this difficult journey together, and that is the beautiful thing about this forum, having others who truly do understand our pain and heartache.

Your sweet words to your handsome Brownie are so touching, Brownie, your handsome man, that is so beautiful Jessica.

I also look at Chis on line as well, it took me a long time to do so, (3 years), I give you credit for the strength you have with looking, and while there are so many adorable ones there, I am the same in that I say to myself "that's not little girl". I know I'm not going to find her there, but I guess when I look at their sweet faces, I don't see that feistiness in their eyes that she had, but I think that this may be my heart's way of telling me I'm not ready yet, and that's ok, our hearts will let us know when the time is right. I think your Brownie will guide you when the time does come for you to open your heart and home to a new loved one, I believe you will just know when he does.

How is the pineapple coming along, has it sprouted any roots yet? It is so wonderful that you planted a pineapple in honor of your precious Brownie, such a beautiful and thoughtful thing to do for your handsome boy.

Thank you for your recent visit, and I'm glad you enjoyed little girl's ice cream video. I smiled with how Brownie loves ice cream too, you can be sure that Brownie, little girl and all their friends are putting Bella's money to good use, ice cream for everyone and lots of other treats too.

Sending my warmest wishes for such peace and healing to find your heart, may you always know and feel the love that your handsome man Brownie continues to surround you with.

Your Friend, Don
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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #59 
Hi Don
Thanks for the encouragement. Yes this does help me here and keep Brownie alive in my heart! I have not been here a lot lately,as I thought it may have been to much. Of course I always come back, bcuz I truly need this place. All the good hearts here should be here. And we help each other. I did buy 2 pineapples and started one right away, but it didn't take it was too cold. I put the other top in water and 2 months later I have roots, so I put it in a pot yesterday,. I watered it today and noticed 2 new leaves coming in, I should have put it straight in the ground. So I'll get new dirt and relocate it! I didn't think it would sprout, but it already had. I could feel the spiky on the new blades, and thought my gosh. It's going better in a cup of water. Lol.. Brownie telling me its gonna grow, dont worry! It's hard looking at other Chis, I always look at Brownie, I have too! But it's only been 6 months. And with my recent bad day, maybe it's not time yet! I thank you again, I love Bellas videos. I tried accessing my Samsung to pull up old videos of Brownie but I couldn't. I so wish I had just one video. I have loads of photos. No videos! At least I have this. Thanks again D ok n and Bella and Vera! Spring is coming...🐾🌸💐

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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #60 
Hi my Boy
Mama is thinking about you so so much. It's so hard to move forward each day without. I have to know that you are still here with me. To my surprise your Pineapple plant has 3 more tiny new leaves coming in. This is the one I kept in a glass of water in the windowsill. The way I had read to grow the top from scratch didn't pan out the first time. But with encouragement from you, and a friend here on the Forum: "Tankie". You are sprouting along. This gives me great Hope and Joy, that you are telling me you are here with me. I have not stopped tending to it. But I have to slow down on water. Or maybe just keep doing what I'm doing, lol.. My way has worked. I love you so much Brownie. With all my heart and Soul. You are missed and lived. Cherished and remembered, always my Boy! I can't wait to replant it to the corner in the back yard, to its final place. I should have stuck it straight in the ground, but I put it in this little pot to see if it would take. So we will be ok. Grandma and I are planting a few bushes and different flowers along the fence too. I'll ha e to start another pineapple top because there are two corners. I can't wait for it too grow and get bigger and bloom. All the lizards will be around and on it. Just as you like. Mama loves you honey. Please stay close too me, and I you! I just want you too feel my presence and me yours. The good lord will see to it Brownie. I just know in my heart I will see you again. A connection so real so loving and caring. And so loyal, it can't be over. This life is way more than just that! I can't wait to the day we are together again. Please come visit me. I miss your sweet smell and face, I do honey. I love you Brownie Forever and always, your loving Mama.. Sophia misses you too, so much. She wanted me too send you all your photos, and I know she's hurting too. We are closer now. She needs me without her Mother. She will never have that. I see I need to be strong for her, like I was for you. She sees my sadness for you. And although she's only 11 she understands. It hurts her too. So I have to try not to show that to her being here with her. I've just realized how its affecting her. You to grow up together. Her being a year older. You were my child, and still are my Boy. Sophisticated needs more than just her Father, she deserves that. She loves you and misses you greatly. You impacted a lot of lives here Brownie. Spacial in every way you were...
😇😘kiss kiss

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