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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #16 
Hi my beautiful boy!
Mama has been missing you today
I'm outside trying to remember the good times honey. I've been out here looking at that first heart on the tree I saw before u left on your journey. It used to make me sad b yz I kept seeing all these hearts and it was a sign the whole time, I felt I had let u down. I don't feel that way as much anymore though Brownie.
Mama has told herself with the help of the Lord that I have been there for 9 years for you honey, I know o was in and out all towards the end, but all our time together was long and loving. We were inseparable we're we not? All the love and care I had giving to u, and being there at the end, that's what was important. If I hadn't been there that day, oh my honey. I would not of been ok . But I was and as sad, and heart wrenching as it was. I'm glad I stayed with u till the very end my boy. So I know now, that I took u in when Daddy found you and we became one. And inseparable love we shared. The lizards hints, the long walks. The ice cream, u always got a lil milk stache when I let u lick the lid. That was my favorite photo of you, u were so young and handsome. I'm using this one for Rainbows Bridge. But I change it up a bit on your candle ceremony. Oh how I miss u sweet boy. I miss when I walk on your circles if happiness to c ma I miss your kiss kiss. Your big brown eyes that took Mama from the very start. I love u Brownie.
I know I'll never replace or find another furbaby like u, I will cherish the time God had givien us. I will always remember u my boy. My lil Wascal boy Brownie..
Grandma is so sad too u were always right there whenever u heard a wrapping opening from any food source, her lil CRUMBLY..lol.
Yes Sophia has been curious as to the candle lighting and Monday night ceremony for u. Every Monday, I will piat to your memories. And share in the grieving of all the loving hearts at home and here at the Rainbows Bridge
I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found this place. Everyone is so caring and full of live to share this story and we all help each other to remember all of our Furbabies. Please know if Mama thought for a second that u could have had more time, that I would have given it too you Brownie, but unfortunately it was out of my hands and the vet. God was ready for you . He had a plan, he always has a plan. But you are safe and out if pain. You can rest honey and breathe without a problem now. Mama will set myind on things above now, of the time when the Lord takes me through the gates to meet u and then to God, in Heaven. Until then i promise to live life full of uncontional love that u taught me my boy. I pray that to the Lord that my 💓 be full of the spirit of Christ and of you Brownie. Mama misses and loves u so very much, luv always and forever
Mama

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My boy, Brownie

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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #17 
What a precious letter to your dear Brownie, Jessica!

It's so, so hard to lose such a beloved, important family member. The unconditional love is unforgettable and irreplaceable. It really is. I was crying with you while I read your latest post. I don't know if there is anything on this planet any harder than trying to let one go when their time comes. The loss wrenches and wrecks our hearts so badly. 

You're in my thoughts and I hope some easier days are out ahead for you.

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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #18 
Hi Jessica, 

Thank you so much for the lovely, thoughtful post you wrote to me on my thread. And for praying. That's so kind of you!  What a great photo of your niece and Brownie you shared!

It's true, everyone here is wonderful and comforting. What a lovely place to talk and heal!

I love the Lord and definitely believe in heaven. I dearly miss her now, her absence is hard, but I so look forward to seeing my baby girl again. I know you anticipate a reunion with Brownie. 

I'm thankful to read that your faith is helping you through these hard times. It means so much, knowing the Lord is with us and that He has a strong purpose for our lives. And He gives us comfort. And it does get better in time.
 
I'm so sorry mornings are extra hard for you and then again nightfall is tough. Those were the sweetest of times with our beloved furballs. Grief seems to have its own time table and we kind of have to go with it. I think tears help and can be very healing. But gosh, the pain can go on for a long while.  Hope you're taking good care of you.

I do want a pup, haven't pursued that yet. I hope to soon. Sounds like you want another little friend, too.

God bless and encourage you, Jessica. Hugs to you!




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MissingScooty

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Reply with quote  #19 
Jessica I wanted to stop by and read some of your posts, you have been so good about reading mine. I too have faith in the Lord and believe my Scooter is in heaven. I do not know how I would have gotten through this without God (though I do admit I was mad at Him the first few weeks). What a cutie your Brownie is! And I relate to being inseparable. That makes their death all the more loud. But God has shown me what a wonderful reunion we will have with them! And our time with them in eternity will be so so long, compared to our short time on earth with them. I try try, to remember that when the grief feelings start to overwhelm me. I send you hugs and prayers. Thank you for the times you have stopped by on my posts
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MyBella

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Reply with quote  #20 
Dear Jessica,

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your handsome Brownie, such an adorable boy in the photos you posted.
Your letter to him is so touching, so beautiful, the love you have for your handsome boy leaps off these pages, so absolutely beautiful Jessica.

I wish for your heart to always feel Brownie's love and light, bringing with his love, the peace and healing you so deserve.

In Friendship, Don & Vera
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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #21 
Thank you all for stopping by here to read and write. It's much appreciated. I'm always loving him and missing him. And it's very comforting to know I have all of u too lean on here when I need too as some people just don't understand the kind if love and friendship one gives to us. Our beloved Furbabies.
Thanks again , Jessica

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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #22 
My Dearest Brownie
Today is provided g to be a difficult day! I still can't seem to let u rest on my nightstand. I still pull u over to me and cuddle with your Blankie. Oh miss u so so much. Every night it's so hard not having you here to snuggle behind my legs, while u lick the spot your head will rest. Then morning comes and it's worse
The Lord says tears remain for the might ,but rejoicing comes in the morning. I have yet to see morning with a SMILE.
as when you were here honey. You were the very best thing that had ever happened to me, I know you knew this by the love I gave I back. Always protective over you, and u over me. I'm ready to look back and remember all of the love we shared, and not the pain. I'm trying honey. I am! Give me some time, a little more. I prayed to God that he tell me your sickness was out of my hands, and he did. And it was! Now I have to except that I did all I could do for you my boy. The vet was very honest and forward with us. Her words were what was best for you! Not me. I do sit with guilt , I should have waited. But you had to be kept on oxygen. The worst way for anyone to go, not being able to breathe. No, I couldn't do that to you honey. As much as I wanted too keep you with me and take you home, I couldn't. I did what was best for you. Grandma was there and agreed. Two Drs. Of course I called them two days in a row to make sure I did the right thing and questions. You have your wings and you are at peace and happiness. My boy I will be fighting hard to get my place in heaven. Please know I love you so very much my lil Wascal boy.
I miss so much the bike rides we use to take
Daddy got me a basket , remember. You loved it. My Brownie u were a gift sent, and a whole chapter in my life
I look forward to seeing you in Heaven. Your journey starts now
I hope u are comforting Sissy for Grandma. Her misses Sissy and you. Brownie. And tell Bean and Buffy, Sascha, and Buddy. We all luv and miss that too. You are my everything. I will leave this quote for u and please be my Angel Brownie and walk beside me all the way to Heaven...I almost forgot its Mama Birthday today, 41 years old. I wish u were here withe to eat vanilla ice cream u loved so much. I'm going to push myself harder to accomplish my
goals. I have to do it for you Brownie. I will do it for you. Mama loves you honey .Don't be sad I'll never let u leave my 💓. You are always here with me. Until we talk again my boy.
Sophia talks of you all the time and loves you so much Brownie. She's hurting and I'm trying to help her with that. All she wants to talk about now is going to Petland. You made a big pact on her with your love. You were the perfect little gentleman. A HANDSOME ONE AT THAT
I LOVE YOU BROWNIE, LUV ALWAYS MAMA
FOREVER IN MY HEART

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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #23 
Oh Jessica, what a beautiful letter to your beloved handsome boy Brownie. Our hearts ache forever when they are gone, it takes so much time to feel better. Brownie knows how much you love him and will be waiting for you. What a wonderful thing that your Brownie is encouraging and pushing you to be the best you can be, he is so proud of his mommy. I wish you a Happy Birthday and I hope that today and always you will feel Brownies love and paws wrapped around your heart.
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          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #24 
Thank you Marlene
Yes I try to be tough, but the pain bursts through. Its so hard him not being here. He was all I had, my only joy in this world. Almost 3 months, and I'm getting by, but I cry and still have uncontrollable outbursts . Its still quite unbelievable, but I know he is not suffering now, of course I question myself here and there bout my choice. But I know I did the right thing. I guess its bcuz I didn't see it coming. You know, I just don't understand that part. And still having a hard time with closure. It will come when it comes I guess. My ex said I should get another Dog bcuz of how he sees me struggling still, and I want too. IRS just not the right time, maybe after the Holidays, which are so hard to get through. I hope Max and Bailey had their fill of Turkey. I wish u well stay warm. Have you adopted any pets since? I tried looking for your thread, I think I found it, its the only one I saw. If not let me know so I can stop by
Hugs and prayers
Jessica

I sent a card, I love what this one says!

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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #25 
Hello my dear Boy!
I hope you liked your plate, and shared with others. Mama is missing you every single minute of the day honey.
Oh Brownie this is going to be for the long haul, and I'm going to write about you! I've been writing almost every day to you, I feel its helping me. I miss your warmth next to me Brownie. Mama will always carry you in my heart, and I know u will too. Thanksgiving is over now, but Christmas is still to come. The first without you , or any of Grandmas. Its very quiet and we are all moping around this Holidays. Things will get better, I just have to remember you are here in spirit. Always in my heart, luv always Mama... Kiss Kiss Brownie Boy
Grandma says hi and her miss u, Sophia also misses you so very much my boy. Gone but not forgotten.
Love your Mama Jessica

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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #26 
Hello my handsome guy!
Mama found some old photos I forgot about them or I thought they were in the Samsung. I'll have to get a Samsung, just to collect your photos.
I saw these this morning when you were on your lizard hunts, so I'm stopping by to drop a pair of for my boy, Brownie. Lizard, lizard find em Brownie. My sweet boy I miss your smell, and your smile. The way u always following me everywhere. We had great times honey and then you started getting older, our walks got shorter, we took more naps, and let me know that it was time to go. Though our Goodbye was hard, I will never forget a decade of circling Hello's when I walked through the door. Your hand shakes and uppy's for treats. My boy you were the best thing that ever happened to me and you were the Good Boy I will always keep you close to my heart and cherish! And look forward to our greeting each other in Heaven! Where we will give praise to our Lord god, with bended knee a paws!
Mama misses you and loves you lots play and find the lizard, lizards!
These are a few of the photos I found, aww you were 3/4 here. So darn cute , and so happy God pointed you to me when you were lost thank you lord for the time we had.
Luv Mama
I

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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #27 
Brownie my Boy, I love you infinity!

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Watson143

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Reply with quote  #28 
Awww you baby brownie was the sweetest. I am with you on this painful journey. I have no words to help you heal but I share your tears and heartache. I know Watson is playing with Brownie and they ate watching over each other.
I know We will all be reunited and never part one day. One day sooner or later.
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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #29 
Watson143 ..Yes they are...Was Watson your first?
U r awesome for helping him. U said u had him half your life, where did u adopt from? Just curious. My ex found Brownie wandering 9 years ago, I can't believe no one ever claimed him. I walked him everyday and night till the end. I want to help a dog in need, like u did! I was thinking of petsmart, cuz they had new Chi's, but they sell out and some eventually don't keep their original home like my boy! He was heaven sent for sure and so was Watson.

Its hard to know when I'll be ready! Aghh it sucks but I'll never regret it and I would do this over. After I grieve fully I guess I will know, or hopefully my boy will let me know. That is what I truly desire, for him to want me too!
I have had a few dreams, some sad, but It helped me with closure. I think I've finally excepted hes gone. But I can't let him go! Its such an experience that was almost so pure and loving, its undescribable.
This is why I know we will see them! It is so heartwarming to talk with everyone here, besides the lord. This place is all I have, not many understand. Our boys are sitting next to each other now bragging with their tails a waggin, big BLUE and Brown eyes shining down on us now! Never forgotten always in our hearts!

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Brownie74

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Reply with quote  #30 
Hi my boy, I'm missing you so much today! Finally found a new home, and you are not Herr to go share it with me. I still find it hard to believe you are not here. Its so hard to except that I will move forward without you. I thank you so much for your love u gave to me Brownie. I'll never forget you! You are always and always will be on my mind, in my heart and soul. I love and miss you .so so much. Kiss kiss honey! Love Mama

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