Wileykitten Show full post »
Thanks, Bailey. . I have been crying alot this week/weekend. Thank God for ativan or i would never sleep. I wake up daily with panic attacks and I am inconsolable. Im so off the routine when i feed everyone.. normally after Willow i put Sevyn in my room to eat without being bothered. Abbey has chosen to eat in there now and its really hard seeing the door closed knowing she isn't in there.
About 20min after she ate, id give her her phenobarbital and a treat.. i would always say, "Sevyn wana eat?" and shed come to the kitchen and she knew her turn.. id feed Willow and Sevyn would meow and start towards the bedroom.
At night i would leave her in there (abbey would eat on the fridge) after abbey went in and shed lay in front of the heater in the cat bed. Id go in and check on her and sometimes shed come out and play other times that heat was such a coveted spot...
Going to bed is so hard she always jumped up in my face purring and id lift the blankets and shed climb in and flop against me purring and wed "spoon".. or shed be facing me purring and stretch her arms around my neck. Its really hard to go to bed... i always went early but now i have to wait until im exhausted so i fall asleep right away.
I just cant believe she's gone. .. Sometimes its so unreal that i think shes still here and when i realize she's not, i fall apart. My eyes are a mess underneath it looks burned.
Im so sad... so lost
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I know Stacie, it's so hard for our brains to process such a huge loss. I'm so sorry you are in so much pain.
I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you.
Hugs, MJ
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Thank you, MJ.. sorry for late reply yesterday was a really hard day. Monday and Thursday are when I took her for fluids.. id come home and if i didnt take my shoes off and change my clothes shed try to hide from me but if I did, shed come over and purr and rub against my legs. Its hard coming home and not seeing her sitting in the hallway or talking to her about my day on way to vet. She even knew the streets we were on when I asked and when we got home. Everyone at the vet loved her theyd all yell "yay Sevyn's here! Hi Sev!"
We did it for almost 5 years.. she was so brave. I just dont understand how u go from playing Wednesday to Sunday shes gone. ..she was doing so incredible u would never have known she was sick. My vet thinks there was something else going on we did not know about.. idk. All i know is my baby is gone.. my monkey business. ..
I couldn't save her. I couldn't fix it.
I love her so much the pain of missing her is searing and i dont know what to do.
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Oh my. I relate to so much of your last post. Not being able to save her, couldn't fix it. An incredible and loving pet that you can't believe is gone. I'm so sorry, Stacie. 

I'm so sorry for all your tears and for how hard it is at night and for missing her cuddles so much.  I wish it didn't take so long to adjust and heal. It's just so hard!

Wishing you much comfort and peace and hoping things start to ease for you.
-Missing Marissa deeply
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