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pollypurebred

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Posts: 9
Reply with quote  #1 
On Sept 11th we had to put our sweet Suki girl down. My heart is so broken, I don't know how to go on without her. I prayed, and prayed and prayed that God would give us more time together and still His answer was no. I'm at such a loss, why would my Father say no, and allow her to be taken from me? He can do anything He wants, and yet he said no.

I go through each day trying to push the sorrow aside, pretending to smile, lying to everyone when they ask how I am, always responding that I'm fine and how are you? No one wants to hear that I'm overcome with grief and have to drag myself out of bed to face each and every day. After all most have that attitude it's just a dog after all. Even my husband has said in frustration, "They only grieved for Moses for 30 days"!

I don't know if I'll ever be okay again.


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dustyangel

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Reply with quote  #2 
Polly,
 
Grief is a very personal thing.  And your beloved Suki surely was not "just a dog"...I'm sure she was part of your family.    No one else can predict how long grief should last, how deeply a person should feel grief, or how it should impact a person.  It's very personal, and for some, it takes longer to work through the emotions of it. 
 
Part of grief, does seem to be anger.  Anger that we've lost what was so deeply part of us.  I would like to suggest, that being angry at God is a part of the grief process-I was so angry when my kitty Dusty died unexpectedly while I was at work almost 3 years ago, and angry in 1996 when my mom died of cancer.  All summer she had prayed for healing, all summer she held onto hope that she would get better.  But in September, she died.  I was bitter that she did not win her battle with cancer.  Someone very dear to me, gently reminded me in an email, that my mom "did" conquer death.  Her whole life pointed to one thing-her faith, her belief.  What better reward for her than to be in Heaven, her life's very purpose.  It helped ease my anger a bit. 
 
I'd like to think, through your pain and anger, that if you close your eyes, perhaps you can look for a bit of peace in your heart, that the love you have for Suki is eternal.  Your love for her still is very strong, and no one can take that love from your heart....
 
But your emotions are mixed with anger and depression right now.  Your heart is torn in pieces.  It's like there is no one answer to magically help you.  I can only simply say, try to focus on the good, positive memories, on her love, and I believe your precious Suki's angel wings are near you often, as she senses your pain. 
 
Come back here if you can, share with us some more about your beloved Suki.  There are many here to offer support.  Just come, and people will help. 
 
God bless,
Karen (Dusty, DJ & Patches mom)
 
 

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Dusty's Rainbow Residency:

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DUSTY101/Resident.htm

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."
~Author Unknown~

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Bob

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Reply with quote  #3 
I share your sorrow. My beloved best elderly gentleman feline buddy died August 14, 2009. I was an still am heartbroken. My life will never be quite the same.
You have every right to feel the grief that comes with the loss of such true friend. There is no such thing a just a dog or just a cat anymore than there is just a person. Our loved cat and dog are part of us as we were part of them. Until we meet again they will watch over us and love as just as they did when they were here on earth.
God bless you.
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pollypurebred

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Reply with quote  #4 
Bob, I'm so sorry you lost your Buddy. I understand your pain and sorrow more then words can say. Our home is so empty and quiet. Quiet, somehow that's to small a word for it. It's devoid of her presence, a big gaping black hole. I never had a death effect me so profoundly. I still think I hear her sometimes, expect to have her trailing behind me as I go about my life during the day. When my keys jingle in the front door I expect to hear her excitement that I've returned, and it's with the silence that the sharp recognition that she's gone comes full into focus. I know they say that life is short on this earth, like a drop of water in a bucket, but it's seems like my days left here will be so long without her.

I don't believe that they are just a cat or just a dog either. I truly wish I could be honest with the people around me but I quickly found that when I still was so sad and didn't paste a fake smile on my face I got the rolled eyes and even the pull yourself together it's just a dog comment more then once. When my BIL found out our sweet Suki was ill he coldly stated,"looks like it's time for another dog" It was as if he ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped all over it.

And yes, your Beloved Gentleman Buddy and My Sweet Suki Girl were as much a part of us as we were a part of them. It's my belief that she is here with me, still close. She never left my side in life and I can't imagine she would in death. Thanks you for your kindness Bob, it means more to me then you will ever know. And God Bless you also.

Polly


Karen,

It must have been such a shock to lose your Dusty as you did. I can't imagine how hard that was for you. I'm sorry that you lost him and could not be there with him. Your friend's wisdom after your Mom's death must have been very comforting. I'm glad your friend was there for you during what I know was a terrible time in your life. God often gives the right words for people to share just when we need them most. 


 I frankly have know idea how to walk through the grief of losing my Girl. The world just keeps going on, everyone is busy. The Sun and Moon continue to rise and set. People shop and cook and clean, and it seems so wrong. Just wrong, I feel like screaming out to the world to stop. How can it all just continue with Suki being gone? Now I'm aware this is irrational, but it's how I feel right now. I don't want to have conversations about the church's International dinner, the missions, the dessert auction, or your wonderful grandchildren.

Maybe I am angry, I don't know. Mostly I just feel let down by God. What would it have hurt to give her more time on Earth? Would the future have gone askew? It says to pray, pray without ceasing. Keep knocking on the door. Well I did, and He still said no. It makes me wonder about the other times I pray. It says to pray, so I do, but my hearts not in it. I have this nagging that says God's sovereign and in the end He'll do what He pleases if the prayer request was not His will. Makes my prayer life very lack luster recently. I used to feel favored, not so much anymore.

Maybe time will ease this pain and lift this depression, but for right now I don't know how to face the days. I think of our Sweet Girl and her love and devotion and at this time it brings no comfort, only sorrow. I hope to one day be at a place where when I think of her love it brings comfort.

I'm very thankful for your kindness. It's been a rough road dodging the landmines of rolled eyes and hurtful comments. I'm glad I found Rainbow Bridge. God Bless you also.

Polly
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