Pivoboy65
My pain is deep. My guilt is too. Over a year ago our female Doberman was diagnosed with a severe heart condition from a specialist. Prognosis was poor to guarded. Our vet gave her little chance. Well with medication she made it a little over a year longer and passed on the 4th of July. I know I should be elated that we had that much longer to love her and even canceled any trips so she would not have to be kenneled. My wife or both of us were with her every day. My problem is, and I know this is irrational is that she died from bloat because she had a few of the symptoms but not all. Now I can’t get that thought out of my head . I even know that with her heart condition, no kind of surgery probably could have been performed. I make peace with it and then the next day, replay it all over again making myself sick. Any words will help. Thank you.
David becak
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roseblue1
You did all you could for your Ruby...most of us all feel guilt after we have lost our babies it is part of the grieving process.

I was told on here to stop thinking about my darling boy Monty's last few weeks of his life but to cherish all the loving and funny times you had with Ruby...and I am sure there were plenty of those.

Ruby would have not wanted you to be sad...she loved and you loved her.

Take Care Ellen x
Ellen Hague
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Pivoboy65
Thank you Ellen. We lost Ruby’s buddy, Joker last Memorial Day and now Ruby last weekend. My wife is retired so Ruby was constantly by her side so she is grieving hard. I know guilt is a part of the process but I am trying to not let it overwhelm me. I mean, we knew her heart was going to get her so I don’t know why I keep looking at other things. I don’t even think her heart would handle any kind of sedation or surgery. Thanks for the kind words. You made me feel a lot better.
David becak
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grievingmama
David, I'm sorry for your loss. There is nothing more painful than watching your fur-kid slowly decline in health and the constant silent questioning of when you will lose them only to be followed by the quilt and what-ifs when they do. You did an amazing job keep ing your pup going for a year with a severe heart condition. Bloat happens, and we don't know why. It is fast and deadly, often the signs are so subtle in the very beginning (and cab be similar to symptoms our aging pets are already typically exhibiting from other illness) it can be near impossible to catch. Please don't question yourself - I know much easier said then done. Try to remember all the love care and effort your gave your pup. My bets to you. xx
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Pivoboy65
In original, I meant to say, I wonder if she died from bloat. Not that she died from bloat. I know it was her heart but we pet owners beat ourselves up pretty bad
David becak
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Pivoboy65
Grieving mama, thank you for your kind and thoughtful words. I honestly don’t know why I even looked up bloat after she died. She really only had a couple of the symptoms and you are right. Some of them were there from other things. Her prognosis was poor to guarded last June 1st from the specialist. Out vet didn’t think she was going to be here long but somehow she gave us another year and a month and for this I am grateful. But as you all know, none of that means much in the moment as you are staring at the empty spot on the couch. Ruby, I hope you are nuzzling up to Joker right now. Lost him last Memorial Day
David becak
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P_Mom
Hi David, 

I'm so very sorry for both of your losses. One is painful enough, but two in a year is devastating. 💔 

My boy was diagnosed with a heart condition too in 2018 - leaking heart valve and grade 5 murmur that would go into congestive heart failure at any time. I was devastated. He too had to take medication (Vetmedin) and it did help and his ultrasounds were checking out good and I was so incredibly thankful. After on meds for 15 months he suddenly stopped eating, starting vomiting and very lethargic. No symptoms of congestive heart failure which I monitored all the time.  

Upon examination and blood work, he had kidney failure.  And this time no real options.  My world crashed.  I'd been paying so much attention to his heart that I (and his Vet) overlooked his kidneys.  I have TREMENDOUS guilt for this and always will. 

I understand the pain you and your wife are going through.  Patch was my first true love in the world.  It's been 5 months today and a day hasn't gone by that I don't breakdown, usually multiple times.

We try the best to take care of the things we know about, but we can't save them from everything. Their life spans are far too short and unfair. 

Sending lots of love I've and comfort your way. XO

^I'll add the heart meds likely attributed to the kidney failure.  It's a no win battle...
Jennifer
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grievingmama

Pivoboy65 wrote:
In original, I meant to say, I wonder if she died from bloat. Not that she died from bloat. I know it was her heart but we pet owners beat ourselves up pretty bad


I totally understand, I lost my 13yr old boy 5 weeks ago. He had multiple progressive chronic health issues that in the end were all compounding together creating a perfect health nightmare and yet I still to this day spend time researching all his past symptoms and questioning past diagnosis, past treatments, past...everything. It's my attempt to silence my feelings of guilt. He was my soul dog, my everything and I miss him more than words can say. 

I'm so sorry for your loss, too. 

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Pivoboy65
Thanks to  all and my sympathies to all of you as well. You wonder why we do this to ourselves. We know the pain is going to be devastating  yet we do it again anyway. This is the first time in 23 years we don’t have a dog in the house and I tell you, we don’t know what to do. We like to travel and we actually cancelled  2 trips last year to St John in the Virgin Islands just so Ruby would not have to be kenneled. Dobermans are a handful but so loyal and loving. Joker was a rescue so we might foster in the near future. Right now, we think it would hurt to much to get another this fast. Love to all of you great people. If there was one silver lining for us in this COVID mess, it would be that I have been working from home since it started so Ruby got some serious love and attention the last few months of her life.
David becak
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Pivoboy65
Monday morning and the guilt feelings are worse. I don’t know what to do. I feel she should still be here if I had taken her in last Friday. Lord, I am an absolute wreck.
David becak
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