Recently 3/30/20 I had my vet nurse come to my home to give my buddy his final ride. I had a sense of relief, knowing he won’t suffer anymore and or get worse. My emotions go up, go down. One minute happy, next minimum sad, next minute angry! I’m overwhelmed with hurt and pain. I adopted Scooby 11/18/09 from the Sacramento spca, he was 1 year. We went everywhere together. He rode in the moving truck meeting thousands of people. He went to Oregon,Washington, Kansas City, LA,Arizona, New Mexico, texas with me as well as 20 beaches in his life. Met so many people. Took thousands of pictures, made so many memories.
this is the second time I lost him, back on April fools day of 2011 he ran away. I was fresh off work, napping. Some kids was setting off fireworks he was freaking out. I wake up he’s gone. He busted out of my screen door. Completely devastated. Long story short, I got him back 8 months later for he was chipped and I was beyond happy. But this time around I’m not getting him back and I’m absolutely heart broken. Heart broken because he was such a sweet loving boy. He was a Pitbull but an absolute sweetheart lover who was so goofy he made many people cry from laughter. Now the laughter is gone, and just sever sadness has consumed me. I try to keep my mind active by doing some hiking but I end up sitting in front of a creek crying. I miss him so damn much. I love my boy.
may 2019 he was 11 years old, he was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer. They gave me options, prednisone live 0-3 months. Chemo ..which could make him sick..give him a year..or, take off a 1/4 inch of his jaw. Money wasn’t an issue with the decision I made. I wanted to treat him as I would want if I got diagnosed with cancer. I decided prednisone because I didn’t want him to be sick from the chemotherapy and having to stress him out by weekly vet visits and I sure in the hell wasn't going to disfigure him by removing a portion of his jaw. Well he lived 10 months total with cancer and living fine except for his final two months with a nasty ear mass. I tried everything, strict keto food to starve the cancer..it was helping with regression of his skin cancer masses. But wasn’t helping his ear, for a week straight his ear mass was bleeding all over him. I cleaned it daily 10xs a day and 5-15 minutes later it would bleed on his face again. I made my decision I’m like I can’t have him like this, that it’s not fair for my boy. I’m just so lost, so confused. I feel like I failed him.
I just miss him so soo much!!!