Tomorrow will be six weeks since I had to put my beloved 13 year old black lab, McGuiness down. The pain is unbearable, when he died something inside of me died too. I am no stranger to loss and grief as I lost my father 5 yrs ago and then my little sister 10 months later. At that time I did not think I could survive the pain and falling into deep depression, McGuiness never left my bedside. He nudged me outta bed when *enough* was enough. His love was my daily ritual and now that is gone. I feel that others don't understand why I am taking it so hard and why six weeks later it still hurts like heck. I cannot bring myself to move his bed, where I have placed his cedar box of ashes, or move his basket of toys. I wake up every morning looking for him and I cry myself to sleep. Every nook and cranny of my home reminds me of him. I have gone away multiple times at a desperate attempt to avoid the painful memories...but they are always there when I get back. This is the first pet loss that I have experienced and it runs deeper than my family losses. At this moment, I don't ever want another pet...and I am trying to give away my birds as I just can't deal.

I have sneeked around this website but could not bring myself to write about McGuiness until tonight. I have taken comfort in knowing others feel the same and I am so Grateful for resources like this.

I wrote this within those first dark days:

McGuiness’s Poem

Mom, I want to thank you

For answering my plea

I know it wasn’t easy

But I was in so much pain you see


I thank you for spending this last night by my side

Brushing me with your love,

And for knowing what to do

When you looked into my eyes


Please remember me as young and strong

Full of life and hunger strong

Not my body thin and frail

Or how I couldn’t stand too long


I know you’re going to hurt

When you awake and I am not there

Expecting me to greet you

With a smiling face and wagging tale


The house may seem so silent now

Without the pitter patter of my paws

So fill it with Joy

And try to wipe away your tears


But here is what I really want you to know

I have left this earth but not my soul

You will see me again this I know for sure

Just listen with your heart, and my love for you shall show.


In Loving Memory of McGuiness

4/17/97 - 7/13/10

Danielle Quintanar

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l understand the deep loss you feel Danielle as l have had similar family  losses recently and the loss of beautiful Bubby over a month ago , and l am taking her loss far worse then then the loss of family members , l am sorry and are thinking of you  big hugsss

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big hugs to u. i lost my beautiful kitten remy 2 weeks and 1 day ago and i still cry every day for so many reasons. the lost routine, the feel of his fur, the way he would go crazy trying to lick my face, his welcome every morning i came home from work....the list is so long. im tired of the comments of disbelief that im still grieving and in pain, so i do it in private or come here. i talk to him and cradle his box of ashes everyday. the sadness runs so deep...... take care of yrself first and know that each and everyone of us cares for u. xoxo erika

Those people who dislike cats, will be mice in their next life.......
Remy...entered my life 4th April 2010......left for the Bridge 9th August 2010.
loved, missed and cherished.
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