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Last Thursday I had to put my 11 year old dog down, I knew she was sick, I knew she was in pain but it was still the hardest thing I've ever done. I miss her so much she was my side kick always with me. I feel like I abandoned her. I can't eat or sleep, I dread coming home from work and walking into a house that is no longer a home because my baby girl Roxie is gone. Everyone including the vet knew it was the right thing to do but I can't get passed the guilt. She looked me in the eye the whole time it was happening and I can't get her sad eyes out of my head. I hope she knew I was just thinking of her and taking her pain away so she could be at peace. I feel like there's a hole in my heart that no one will ever fill out her. This is so hard. I love you Roxie




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Mackysmum
Hi roxie mum very sorry you lost your sweet roxie , i lost my macky will be 2 weeks on Thursday, i couldn't eat or sleep up untill 4 days ago.
I understand your guilt i felt the same after I put my boy to sleep i kept thinking may be he wanted to stay and I killed him . The last few days ive come to realise that i was his best friend and he couldn't do anything about how bad he was feeling so it was up to me to do the best thing for him not me .
We took away thier pain but we gained a massive pain in doing so, how unselfish are we .
It was the hardest descion i have ever had to make he was my first animal had him a bit over 15 years from 6 weeks old , I'm glad he's not struggering to get up to walk the pain he was in must of been bad cause they will hide a fair bit.
I'm sure your roxie knew how much you loved her , how sweet that she looked you in the eyes in those last moments , she loved you very much to and I think she may have been thanking you by looking at you last Thursday , some people say animals know when they are going to go .
It has helped me to.post on here everyone been helpful and its nice to share your feelings .
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RileysMom
First off, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. It is never easy to lose someone we love under any circumstance.

Looking our dogs in the eye when WE KNOW what is happening, why the vet is there— that certainly can destroy the heart. But you have to realize that Roxie did not know what was happening. She did not know that she was going to die because of that injection. When she was looking at you, she was not thinking, why are you killing me? All she knew is that on injection, she felt relaxed from the drugs, and then she went to sleep. She did not know that she died.

In these moments, we have a tendency to humanize our dogs, to where all of a sudden, they miraculously have obtained human thinking and reasoning skills. Roxie at no point wondered why. What she did do, was to trust you. She trusted you to take care of her. And you honored that trust by not allowing her pain to continue. It was her disease that caused this situation and killed her, not you. You took her suffering away.

I think making the decision to pts has got to be one of the hardest a pet owner might face. But in situations like this, it is a brave decision. Humans in general, do not desire life to end, they desire to protect it, especially so when we love someone. To put those innate feelings aside, to sacrifice our own desire to keep them with us, is one of the most loving things we can do.

I am sorry it came to this and for all you’ re going through. Loss is never easy, and it brings a gamut of emotions and feelings. Hang in there and know that you are not alone in this.
Val
—Loving Riley, Rosy & Axl always 🐾

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