Deederbestboy
It’s about 4:30 in the morning. Laying here on the couch really missing Deeder. Today was 2 weeks since I put him to sleep. I know it was the right thing to do. My vet said every day was a gift with the bladder cancer. I was just remembering how excited he would get when he saw me. If you came in and  touched him when he was sleeping, he would jump up and meow real loud. So happy to see me home. He wanted to live and be with me so bad. Someday we find each other again. It just really hurts as it is supposed to. I am glad for this forum to help deal with the grief. Some people have asked if I feel better yet. I am tell them no, I don’t. They expect you to bounce back quickly because it’s a pet not a human. Well, Deeder was my child and it will be awhile before the hurt goes away. I just want him back. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you in your season of grief as well. 
Jeanne Swift
Quote 0 0
roseblue1
Jeanne...I found the losing of my boy Monty worse than losing my mother...we were prepared for her loss...and I was not for Monty.

For me it has been six weeks...I still shed tears every day...but now many of my tears are loving and funny times we had with our boy.

You will start to get better in your own time...and I understand that Deeder was your child...that is what they become a part of your family and when I spoke to Monty I would always called him ''Mummy's boy''. 

Monty would sleep on my pillow with me at night...how I miss that and I talk to him as though he is still lying with me.

Thinking of you Jeanne.

Ellen x
Ellen Hague
Quote 0 0
Deederbestboy
4A4F7658-8C1E-42A3-9E6F-4336ADF2A780.jpeg  Thank you, Ellen, for your comforting words of support. Your Monty was a very special boy. I can relate because I don’t think I grieved as hard for my parents when they passed.  Deeder slept on my pillow or my chest every night. He would wrap his paw around me. I miss that too. It was such a comfort zone. Still haven’t fallen asleep yet. It’s around 5:30 AM now. 
Jeanne Swift
Quote 0 0
roseblue1
The good thing about this forum is that we are from different countries and time is different...it is 11.06 AM here in England at the moment so there is always someone to chat with.

I would hold his tail till I fell asleep...would do anything to do that again.


Ellen x
Ellen Hague
Quote 0 0
Deederbestboy
I would hold Deeder’s paw. It sounds like we shared the same, wonderful connection with our boys. That’s really wonderful that the Rainbow Bridge reaches out to so many people around the world. I didn’t realize that. How great to connect with true pet lovers from everywhere. It’s 6:30 now. Had to get up and give one of my other cats his insulin shot, and take my 12 year old dog out. Now the dog wants to play and have me toss her toys. I’m so tired. I said, sorry, girl, later. She walked off and went back to bed. She’s my baby girl. Still has lots of energy. She liked Deeder, and senses his absence. I am relieved Deeder is free of the cancer too. He had transitional cell carcinoma. It an awful thing for any pet, and pet owner to go through. We had surgery but it grew back. My biggest fear was that the tumor would block his ability to urinate and I would have to put him to sleep while he was still walking around, eating, and still alert. Praise God that it never happened. I used to watch constantly to make sure he could pee. He was also diabetic but had been in remission for over a year until he got cancer. In the end his kidneys and heart failed and that was the end. I had him in a major hospital but brought him back to me to put him to sleep so he could see I didn’t abandon him. However, the hospital sedated him too much for the trip back and I’m not even sure if he knew I was there. His spirit is free now. I hope he knows how much I love him. I tried everything to save him. Maybe I can sleep now. I will pretend he is purring on my chest again. God bless, Jeanne 
Jeanne Swift
Quote 0 0