Buddysmom2
Hi everyone
I lost my sweet bulldog Buddy on 8/24. Although he had been battling an immune disorder since Dec, his passing was sudden & while at home. The heartache & guilt are immeasurable. We had taken him to 3 different vets over the last 8 months. He even had a blood transfusion at one point. We really thought he would recover. We were on vacation & returned the day before he died. He wasn't eating & i planned to bring him to his vet at 4 pm but he passed around 2. I hate that i wasn't with him for the last week of his life. I loved this dog so very much & feel lost without him. I don't want to do anything but crawl up in a ball & grieve.
Anyway i wanted to reach out to those who understand this heartache. Thanks for listening.
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Bellamum
Hi Buddy's mom.
I am so sorry for the loss of dear Buddy.
I totally understand your feelings.  Your heart is broken because you have had to say goodbye to a dearly loved member of your family.  There is a hole where Buddy should be.  You feel empty and everything seems pointless and you are riddled with guilt about everything.  I know these feelings because I am living it too.  
I wish I had the words to ease your pain, but unfortunately, there are no words.....we are going to feel this pain for quite some time.  I think that the hole that has been left by Buddy will always be there, you will just become more able to cope with it.  I think we get a "new normal".  We do not like the "new normal" but we learn how to live with it.
I try to focus my attention on how privileged I feel for being chosen to be my gorgeous girl, Bella's mummy.  Like you, I was so fortunate. We have wonderful memories that will remain with us forever.  We were truly blessed and even though we wanted more time, we are so lucky to have had the time that we had.  No amount of time would ever have been enough.  I hope that soon you can remember Buddy with more smiles than tears.
I wish you peace and healing.
Karen
(Bella, Charli and Buddy's very lucky mum)

My gorgeous girl, Bella  26/07/2004 - 03/04/2014
"You were once by our side, but you will be forever in our hearts. Until we meet again baby girl."
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Buddysmom2
Thank you Bellamum. Your words touched my heart. I wish you peace & healing.
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Katel
Hi Buddys mum2,

My deepest sympathies on the loss of your sweet Buddy.  You were a brilliant mum to him getting all the vet work done as you did, you couldn't have done more.  We all understand your heartache here. The pain is great and we wonder how we can survive, but it does ease in time.  Sending you thoughts for healing and peace.
Kate
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Buddysmom2
Thank you so much Kate. Your words mean a lot. I find I cannot sleep these days. While it is true that I've been very busy (I am a teacher) with much on my plate, my heart knows that is not why. I simply miss my boy. Bullies have a very distinctive snore & I am used to my boy's noises at night. It is achingly silent without him. So glad to have found this forum.
Peace to you Kate & all who are mourning.
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ImissSherby
I am so sorry for your pain. I myself am up at midnight tonight thinking I will surely suffer tomorrow at work for being up so late, but unable to sleep. Today is the one month anniversary of the death of my sweet little Sherby. I really think it is important to be able to find a group of people who understand the pain of losing a pet and who do not judge the grief. I know that at work and even in my personal life I feel I cannot fully express my grief because people simply do not care to hear about it. I am glad you found this place.
If love alone could have kept your here, you would have been here forever.
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Buddysmom2
Thank you! I am so sorry for the loss of your Sherby. You are correct: people just do not understand. I go through the motions of my day but the ache is always there.
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bertha
Hello, all. I just lost my 15 year old Yorkie, Molly on Tuesday. She had gone outside with her sisters and my husband didn't know she was out and he ran over her. She was just 10 lbs. and going blind. I had seen her walk right into his tire before but she would just look at it like it wasn't supposed to be in her way and go on about her business, but not this time. My husband was so shocked that he didn't even think about anything but getting her buried. He didn't put her deep enough and I kept nagging him until yesterday afternoon, we went to the lake to make sure she was deep enough. To my horror, a flock of buzzards rose up off her when we drove up. There was nothing left but her little ribs. I can't do anything but cry and cry some more. Her sisters don't know what's wrong and even though I love them all dearly, there is such a hole where Molly should be. I have cancer and had to have chemo. Molly comforted me on the couch every day I was so ill, she took every step I took, she slept with me and I see her everywhere. What can I do?
Molly's mama
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Clairemitts
Buddysmom, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's hard to lose a family member and a friend. I just lost my cat, Claire yesterday. It was so hard sleeping. She was a fairly quiet cat, but she had a huge presence. I'm really feeling a void.
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katporlas
I'm sorry you were not with Buddy his last week.  I know how fast they can deteriorate.  I left for a week and my Max could no longer go for walks?  How did that happen so fast? 

Buddy knows you miss him.  He misses you too.

We will all be together one day.

I know that doesn't help the hurt or the guilt.  That is how I feel and I just can't stop crying.

Kat
Maxie Momie's Best Friend, now missing Mr. Gordy Maxie's brother.
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Buddysmom2
Thank you everyone. It helps to have people who understand. I am finding today to be really rough. There is just such a void without him. Sometimes i find myself sighing deeply & then it hits me why. Or i walk through my house with this vague feeling that something isn't right & I realize it is because he is gone. I had such a string bond with this dog. It feels like he took part of me with him. :(
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