It’s been 5 weeks since my parents and I put down my childhood dog, Bowser. It was a rough week after of grief but I thought I was okay, that it was long enough. But that’s the thing about grief: it hits you at random times. Today it was during work. I was sitting at my desk and it felt like a safe hit me and I literally shuddered an inhale. The rest of the day was okay. I got engaged two days before we put Bowser down, so it’s been a rollercoaster of joy and sadness. I busied myself today with my fiancé with wedding planning, but I guess Bowser was in the back of my mind. I’d been remembering him lately because I put together a slideshow of baby pictures of my fiancé and I for our engagement party and many of mine had Bowser in them. But they didn’t cause me to be sad when I looked at them, just fond of the good times. It was today when I got home and logged onto Facebook. One of the first things I see is one of my friends shared “A letter from the rainbow bridge” and I lost it. Sobbed like the day we put him down.

Bowser lived to be 18 years old! He was a spunky brown papillon who gave my parents and I so much joy for nearly 20 years. Putting him down was an incredibly hard decision because he didn’t have cancer or any major diseases, he was just old. We considered he might have had a brain tumor or stroke, but the choice was made because he had no quality of life. He wouldn’t go to sleep on his own; we had to hold him. If we didn’t he would pace for hours, bump into walls, pant and sometimes cry. He needed rest. His last day he developed a collapsed trachea and we knew we made the right choice. It’s still just hard because we miss him dearly, and while I thought I was at the point I could look at pictures and feel fondness, grief hit me hard today and I’m missing the days when he would steal my socks or do zoomies after pooping.

He was a good boy.
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I’m sorry to hear about Bowser. Eighteen years is a long time and I am so happy that you were able to have that with him. I hope you find peace knowing he is watching over you and you will see him again. We are here for you. I have only been on here a couple days now and this site has brought me so much calmness during such an awful time. I hope it does the same for you.
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I am so sorry for your loss of Bowser.  Childhood pets are very special. I know what you mean about feeling like you are doing okay and then Boom! - some "little" thing triggers a melt down. It could be a photo, a song, a toy, a food dish, an emptiness when we walk through the door and our beloved pet no longer greets us or something else.

My condolences for Bowser and Congrats for your engagement.

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You should google the ball in box theory of grief. I think that explains what you are experiencing. I’m really sorry for your loss and there is no right amount of time to grieve.
It has been 6 weeks for me since I lost my sweet cat Roary and I cry at random times as well
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