jneumann
I put my 15-year-old baby Casey to sleep late this afternoon and have so many regrets about the last months I spent with him and the times I got impatient with him.

I loved this boy so much.  I got him from a shelter when he was 7 and had had multiple homes, I think because he had a phobia about thunderstorms and barked hysterically the whole time they were going on.

He was also snappy with people when he thought they were going to mess with him but otherwise was the sweetest dog you can imagine.
 
Up until a few months ago, my mother lived with us and my dog loved her and she him.  She is elderly so was home all the time and he was used to that.

Then she became sicker and has been in and out of the hospital and not home.  I've been rushing to see her, so he was alone during the day, though friend came in to walk him and spend time with him.

I've been home in the evening, night and morning but so tired and distracted from seeing my mother.  

I knew he was getting older and slower, had arthritis and allergies.  A few days ago, he started seeming lethargic, then getting up and seeming a little confused, not eating. etc. 

The vet thought he might have an infection, so recommended an IV with fluids and other medications to see if he got better.  I left him at the vet's overnight for this treatment, but in the morning he was only a little better and by this afternoon worse.  

I knew it was time to have him put to sleep but now I feel guilty about leaving him at the vet's overnight, making him suffer there with IVs and blood work and for all the times I wasn't with him.

So many things around the house remind me of him and I miss him so much.




Janice Neumann
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catiebee
I'm sure sorry for your loss, Janice. It sounds like you've had an enormous amount of stress in your life the last few months with your mom's health declining. And now this giant loss of Casey.

The grief is so intense early on and my heart goes out to you. I hope being here and writing and hearing from others who understand will be a help. I wish you much comfort.
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Tankie12
Grieve first, guilt has a way of sticking its nose in this somewhere with all of us. You had your hands very, very full, and I’m sure he sensed your stress but they only know love for us, just pure sweet love. If you’d taken him home you would have regretted not giving him a chance. I’m sure he was a little dehydrated and needed those fluids for any chance, you did the right thing. I’ll also ease you mind by telling you as a retired vet tech, we really do love on them. We know they can be scared, we try our best to do exactly what we’d want done for our own. I hope all goes smoothly for a speedy recovery for your Mom. I hope you can find comfort in having saved a sweet soul and making room in your heart for him, you gave him a home that he finally found comfort in,,,,,be kind to you
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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jneumann
catiebee wrote:
I'm sure sorry for your loss, Janice. It sounds like you've had an enormous amount of stress in your life the last few months with your mom's health declining. And now this giant loss of Casey.

The grief is so intense early on and my heart goes out to you. I hope being here and writing and hearing from others who understand will be a help. I wish you much comfort.
Janice Neumann
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jneumann
Tankie12 wrote:
Grieve first, guilt has a way of sticking its nose in this somewhere with all of us. You had your hands very, very full, and I’m sure he sensed your stress but they only know love for us, just pure sweet love. If you’d taken him home you would have regretted not giving him a chance. I’m sure he was a little dehydrated and needed those fluids for any chance, you did the right thing. I’ll also ease you mind by telling you as a retired vet tech, we really do love on them. We know they can be scared, we try our best to do exactly what we’d want done for our own. I hope all goes smoothly for a speedy recovery for your Mom. I hope you can find comfort in having saved a sweet soul and making room in your heart for him, you gave him a home that he finally found comfort in,,,,,be kind to you
Janice Neumann
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jneumann
catiebee wrote:
I'm sure sorry for your loss, Janice. It sounds like you've had an enormous amount of stress in your life the last few months with your mom's health declining. And now this giant loss of Casey.

The grief is so intense early on and my heart goes out to you. I hope being here and writing and hearing from others who understand will be a help. I wish you much comfort.


Thank you,  I appreciate that.  Janice
Janice Neumann
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jneumann
This is very helpful.  How do you get over the guilt?

Thanks.

Janice
Janice Neumann
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Tankie12
Janice you truly did your best. We are only one person. You had to take care of your Mom’s needs. You had someone coming in to walk and spend time with him. You took him in when he was alone, gave him a home, loved him, clearly you loved him. Things happen, it was out of your control. We know a dog’s perception of time is much different than ours. Look at how excited they get when we come home? It can be 30 mins or 8hrs and we get the same wonderful greeting. You had no choice but to be gone, caring for her. Yes he was alone more than normal for awhile. They usually sleep, I’m sure he did, he was older and they love their naps. Don’t let this eat at you, you really need your strength right now, for your Mom. Guilt will wear you down. Eat something, have a protein shake, try to get sleep. I know it’s easier said than done. I had no appetite, after a day I would force myself to eat a protein bar. Something. Their are natural herbs to help you relax and get some sleep. Passionflower tea is wonderful. I hope you feel some comfort soon, be kind to you
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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jneumann
Tankie12 wrote:
Janice you truly did your best. We are only one person. You had to take care of your Mom’s needs. You had someone coming in to walk and spend time with him. You took him in when he was alone, gave him a home, loved him, clearly you loved him. Things happen, it was out of your control. We know a dog’s perception of time is much different than ours. Look at how excited they get when we come home? It can be 30 mins or 8hrs and we get the same wonderful greeting. You had no choice but to be gone, caring for her. Yes he was alone more than normal for awhile. They usually sleep, I’m sure he did, he was older and they love their naps. Don’t let this eat at you, you really need your strength right now, for your Mom. Guilt will wear you down. Eat something, have a protein shake, try to get sleep. I know it’s easier said than done. I had no appetite, after a day I would force myself to eat a protein bar. Something. Their are natural herbs to help you relax and get some sleep. Passionflower tea is wonderful. I hope you feel some comfort soon, be kind to you
Janice Neumann
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