et61
I was NEVER a cat person until Sweetie adopted me. When feeding some feral cats, I left my car door open while doing so and Sweetie jumped in and sat on my passenger seat. Since people are always dumping animals we already had about 5 cats and 2 dogs. I drove home with Sweetie sitting beside me and my husband (an animal lover) just shook his head out of disbelief. Well that was six years ago and now my beloved Sweetie has died from an infested tick bite. After a week at the vet and over $1500 to help him he passed away. I can't sleep, eat and just cry all day. I feel like I was responsible and guilty that he was infected. My heart aches so much. He made me a cat person and out of all my 15 animals was my favorite. He slept with me every night on my shoulder. You couldn't ask for a better pet (and I'm a dog person). I know in time this will pass but the pain is unbearable. I miss seeing him. We moved to a new state and I have no family or friends and Sweetie was the one who made it worth coming home to. He always made me laugh and now that is gone. It is hard to get through the days/nights. I miss him terribly.
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winstonsmom12
et61  i am so very sorry for your loss.  From reading your post, it sounds like you and your husband gave Seeetie a Fabulous life.  You took him into your heart, and your home.  My guilt stems from not having enough money for testing for My Winston.  Believe me if i had Millions I would GLADLY have spent it all on him.

You have no reason to feel any guilt.  You did an excellant Job with Sweetie, when he was alive and well.  And when he was Ill.  He and My Winston are looking down on us, Happy and Healthy now.  They would not want us to carry any guilt.  I believe most of us here have similar guilt.  It will take time and acceptance.    Prayers to you and Husband
Susan
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et61
Thanks for your kind words but six years was not enough time I miss him so much the pain is unbearable
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Eddiesmom
ET61 it is not your fault!  There is no way you ever could have known Sweetie was infected from a tick bite.  I am so sorry about Sweetie.
Susan please don't feel like you let Winston down because of finances.  I think I posted in another reply that I too lost my Eddie AFTER all the expense of tests and surgery and he still died so just because you get everything the vet says done doesn't mean the outcome is good. It might have played out differently but that is not to say the end result of losing our beloved pets would have had a different ending.  I think surgeries are harder on an older pet.....that is what I keep telling myself anyway. 

I'm so sorry to both of you, I feel your pain.  I am up at 3 in the morning because I can't sleep and just get overcome with the thought of him being gone over and over again.  I wish I had comforting words to share.  You are not alone in these feelilngs is all I can say.
Sue E
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et61
Thanks - I'm appreciative that you took the time to respond. I got no sleep and on day 4 of no food. I have a lot of other issues that cause my depression but losing Sweetie put me over the top. Just fed my other cats and he wasn't there. I miss him SO much.
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Eddiesmom
I understand, I do too....so I isolate myself to begin with preferring my dogs.....then they are gone.
Sue E
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et61
Well my husband just left to go pick up Sweetie's remains at the crematory. I can't imagine how I'll feel when he gets home. Knowing that I can never hug him, kiss him or just see him kills me. I knew this would be hard but my heart aches more than I thought and feel like it will never go away.
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NormaT
Dear et61,

I know how it feels. After we out our dog Spike to sleep on 18th February it was just the same - couldn't sleep, couldn't eat and cried all the time. Was absolutely exhausted and consumed with guilt. I know it sounds strange but it was much worse than the death of a human.  Of course you miss him - you loved him so much. You still love him - that doesn't just go away because he isn't here. 

It will get easier but it will take time. I do hope that having Sweetie's remains will be a comfort to you. 

Norma
Norma 
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et61
Thank you Norma. I also agree with you on being harder than the death of a human I'll keep his remains in the bedroom with me where he slept overnight by me.
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Sadiesmom061308
Et61
I feel your pain. I am so sorry for your loss of Sweetie. When I had to put my dog Sadie down on feb 18th due to renal failure I was in shock. Like you I could not sleep or eat. I cried constantly. As Norma says it will get better but it does take a lot of time. On the forum here we are all in different stages of grief and can help you through it.
Remember you are not alone.
Wishing you peace and healing
Tammy
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et61
I couldn't see the ashes just yet
Guess I like being in denial for now. It hurts too much. I know it sounds crazy but my way of dealing with it for now.
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Eddiesmom
I couldn't pick up Eddie's ashes for 3 weeks and still I can't look in the bag that has some of his hair and footprint, it is sitting in the dining room (which we never use).  Fast forward a month and the shelter that I fostered Henry had his ashes for me.  I was very surprised they did this as when we were putting him down I left immediately afterward without asking for them as I thought I was going to vomit and I was crying so hard.  I was so happy they gave me the ashes and now he is in the dining room with Eddie.  They didn't like each other so I kind of feel bad that they are now sitting next to each other in their boxes.  I should move one across the room, I will when I can handle it all without losing it.  We all have to go at our own pace.  


Sue E
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et61
So true and thank you.
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