ladybugandjaxon
Hi everybody,
I just lost my baby boy yesterday, Jaxon. I had to put him to sleep because he was lethargic, would hardly get up to use the bathroom, had bad arthritis and a limp, and was losing all his hair. I cried about it for days, agnoizing over if it was right choice or not. I finally decided to do it because he was miserable, he couldn't do any of the things he loved to do anymore.
We took him to the vet and put him on the table, the vet left the room for a minute to get the medicine and I started sobbing. I stroked what little fur he had left and told him I was sorry and kissed him. The vet came back in gave him his shot and he was gone. I wanted to scream "I take it back, bring him back" but of course I couldn't. We brought him home and buried him and I cried all night.
I had to get up to go to work this morning and I couldn't even muster up the strength to get out of bed. I finally did get out of bed 10 minutes before I had to leave and my legs felt like jelly. Time seemed to have no meaning, still doesn't. I didn't care if I was late and I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I cried of and on all day and every time someone would say something funny at work, sow times I would laugh and then I would feel extremely guilty.
I got him some garden stake flowers to put out in his grave and I cried out there forever. I can't stop crying, I just want him back and I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest
I know he is better of and he is probably running and chasing squirrels like he used to but I would not want him back like he was. Does it get any better?
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AliceM
What a beautiful boy Jaxon is! I lost my girl Cali a week ago today so I know what you are going through right now. It is not an easy journey for those of us left behind but know that Jaxon knows how much you love him. You will find people here who are so supportive and who are also grieving the loss of a treasured companion. My thoughts are with you.
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Beesmom123
Ladybugandjaxon
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Jaxon
you gave your baby a great gift by setting him free from pain. Unfortunately you are left to bear the loss and it can take some time with many ups and downs along the way
I lost my boy Byron 20 weeks ago come next Tuesday and I still struggle daily . Your loss is so fresh and raw it can feel unbearable to cope
The pain will begin to lessen with time, try and focus on the joy you shared over his lifetime, though I know from experience this is easier said then done

My thoughts are with you, I hope you find peace and healing
Take care
Diana


Bee- "Good night sweet prince & flights of angels see thee to thy rest"
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Kittypup
You had such a beautiful dog, LadyBugANdJaxon. Keep that image of him in mind, versus how he was like at the end whenever you feel defeated over his loss. I hope it will give you comfort in the idea that it's how he should be: running, instead of being lethargic.
Keep thinking of all those beautiful mental-images you have together -- it will help you bear the grief. You might, from time to time, even find yourself smiling over a wonderful moment you had together. And it will hurt less . . .
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Kestrel
Jaxon must have been such a sweet boy, I'm so sorry for your loss. I just had to put my darling kitty Tomasina to sleep this afternoon, and I went through many of the same emotions- I watched the injection and so badly wanted to tell them to take it away, to stop it and let her be. I still can't believe I gave them the okay, it feels like a nightmare.
I try to keep in mind that.. There comes a point, when our babies are no longer truly living, instead they are simply surviving and cannot thrive as they should... When they are no longer truly living, and there's no way to bring them back to that, then it is the right thing to let them rest.
It will get easier, with time, but do allow yourself the tears for now if you feel you need to. But, also don't feel bad if you muster up a laugh or two sometimes, that's okay! It's part of healing, too, even though it does feel very awkward and forbidden. Be true to yourself and you will find healing. My thoughts are with you.
Wait for me at the Bridge, my darlings... Bimmer, Mag, Ninetales, Espio, Foxy, Toby, BK, Leo, Church, Tuffy, and Tomasina- each teaching me a valuable lesson, and each giving me immeasurable amounts of love. You will never be forgotten.

We bring these creatures into our lives despite knowing that we will someday have to say goodbye. We do this because we know that the grief is a small price to pay for the lifetime of love we receive from them.
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