I was on my exercise bike and watching a show, where a woman became emotional after the passing of her father. I suddenly remembered that funnily enough I used to hold Max while I rode the bike. It set me off, I started crying and telling Max how much I missed him. I missed holding him, I grabbed his sweater and squeezed it so tight , closed my eyes and begged for him to come back. Ild do anything to bring him back. I feel that I’m bartering again to have him back. 
Laraine Esposito 
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Hi Laraine,

I'm sorry for your loss. There are so many things in our lives that remind us of our babies. I know how you feel, and the desire to hold my Albert is only getting stronger somehow. I lost him five days ago, and I started to reach out to pet him or feeling like his jelly beans are in my hand! I t feels so real that I don't believe he is no longer here. I cry a lot and I would call out his name and ask him to come to me. It's harder than any loss that I have gone through before. Try to think about the sweet moment you had with him while on your bike, remember how much he loved it and how much fun you had together! I know it's very difficult, but Max would want you to continue your life and be happy because he loves you! This is some advice I got from someone very kind here, our babies would want us to have a happy life after they left and by doing that we are honoring their memories and the precious years we have spent with them. 

I hope you are feeling better!


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