AllysMom
It has been almost 8 weeks since my precious Ally Belle passed away.  I can't believe it has been that long already as it seems like it was just yesterday that she was here with me and I was taking care of her.  She was the most precious little soul I've ever known and I miss her more than I ever thought possible.  She and I were soul mates and she took a piece of my heart with her when she passed.

Ally wasn't loud, wasn't boisterous, didn't do any fancy tricks, but was absolutely the most gentle, kind soul I've ever known.  She was a stray that I rescued off the streets.  She took so much pleasure in the simple things like sitting on the back porch on a pretty day with her best dog buddy Mike or getting a treat and being so happy and excited about it.  I know that her life before she and I found each other was pretty rough and to see her laying on one of her soft beds and her knowing that she was safe and would never know loneliness, hunger or fear again meant so much to me.  Who would have ever guessed that the little dog I found in a parking lot dirty, hungry and shaking from fear would literally change my life and mean so much to me.  She was so dirty that day that when she leaned against me, I too was covered in dirt.  She was straggly and skinny.  After first of course seeing our vet and making sure she was okay, she got to go to the groomer which was probably the first time in her life.  I was shocked when they finished with her -- she was absolutely adorable!  She was a Cocker Spaniel mix, but we had no idea.  When she and I got home, she jumped out of the car and the look on my husband's face was priceless - he couldn't believe it was the same dog.  It wouldn't have mattered what she looked like because she was already so special to us, but I think she actually knew how pretty she was for the first time in her life and she pranced around proudly!  I found her on April 20, 2008 and she passed away on August 7, 2013.  The vet thought she was already about 8 years old when I found her, so she did live to be 13, but I only had 5 years with her which just wasn't enough.

Over the past few weeks the days have gotten easier and I can once again function normally in my daily routine, but an hour doesn't go by that I don't think of her.  There are times when I have a brief second where I think that she's still here and I need to tend to her and then remember that she's gone.  Tonight is one of those nights where it all just suddenly hit me and the memories of her last few days and having to make the heart wrenching decision to let her go came flooding back as if it happened yesterday and I find myself crying like I did the first night she was gone.  I have found such relief when I come to this wonderful site and read everyone's stories and I know that I'm not alone in my grief.  I pray that our babies know how much we love them, how much they meant to us and, most importantly, that they are no longer in pain and are happy and playing together at the Rainbow Bridge.

Ally's Mom
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Lety
I love her  story! you made her life beautiful, she was blessed to have  you! , God put her in your path for a reason, he knew you were made for each other, I am pretty sure she is looking down on you with a big smile and thankful that you rescued her from the life she had!, and I am pretty sure she gets sad when you get sad, I was just crying last night thinking of my baby, then something made me think that he was probably sad, looking at me cry... The Lord finally let me have him in my dreams last night and it was beautiful!

Try to remember her with happiness, I'm pretty sure that is what she wants.

I will keep you in my prayers!

Hugs.
Lety
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AllysMom
Thank you Lety for your kind words.  I have only had one brief glimpse of Ally in my dreams and I have prayed for a dream of her where I know she's okay and I can see her clearly, but so far, that hasn't happened.  I just want to see her one more time and know without a doubt that she's happy and knows how much she is loved.

I too believe that God put her in my path that day.  It was sort of an odd sequence of events which were totally out of my normal routine and I ended up at a plant nursery where I had never gone before and had no need to go there, but that's where she was.  I can still see clearly her running from between some pots where she was hiding and out into the parking lot when I pulled in.  Everyone else there was ignoring her and the owner of the store told me that she had been there for a few days hanging around the dumpster looking for food and that they were going to have her picked up by the city the following day if she was still there.  I told them no need for them to call the city because I would take her.  I remember turning around and she was sitting at the doorway to the nursery shaking like a leaf and waiting for me.  I went back and asked her if she wanted to go home with me and she followed me to my car and immediately jumped in when I opened the door.  That was April 20, 2008 and I can see every second of that day like it was yesterday.

During her last year she suffered from a lot of illnesses - pancreatitis, liver cysts, hyperlipidemia, HGE and a few more things, so she and I grew even closer, if that was possible, because I did everything I could to get her through bouts of illness and healthy again.  She was a trooper and always made it through, but in the end, she developed lung cancer which we couldn't beat.  It wasn't fair to her.  She had gone through so much in her life and she stayed the sweetest, calmest, kindest soul I've ever known.  I miss her terribly.

I apologize for going on so long about Ally.  She's just very much on my mind right now and it helps to tell her story.  Lety, I would love to hear about your baby.

Ally's Mom - Karen
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JRsMom
Thank you for sharing your beautiful stories about Ally! You were indeed meant to be together and very blessed to have each other. You provided her with so much love and the good home and care she needed and deserved and she returned to you every bit of love she had. I'm so sorry you had to ever say goodbye.

My horse JR visited me in a dream last week, two weeks after he passed. Like Ally, JR had suffered off and on and I did everything I could for him through several months of ups and downs. JR had a strong will to live and I stayed in the fight with him until the end. He had ten beautiful, happy, healthy days that seemed like a miracle. Even my neighbor noticed how happy and relaxed he looked. Then he was back in pain one night and I lost him the next morning. It was such a shock. I will never forget the expression on his face that morning. He was telling me he had had enough, he was done. He went down and was gone within a few short minutes. That look stayed with me and I could not get it out of my mind. Until he came back to me in the dream. It only lasted a moment, just long enough for me to understand. I clearly saw JR standing at his paddock fence looking right at me. He looked happy and healthy and glad to see me. I felt so relieved and so loved! I am far from over my loss. I have never grieved so deeply before in my life as I have for my JR. But the JR I saw in my dream is the JR I see when I think of him each and every day.

I hope your dear Ally pays you a dream visit soon and brings you the comfort of seeing her well and happy as she wants to be remembered!

Keeping good thoughts for you.

JR's Mom

Brooke
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AllysMom
JR's Mom,

Thank you for your kind words.  I read your story about JR the other night and was so touched.  I was amazed by the bond you had with JR and the care you gave him.  I remember you saying that you slept in your car at night to be close to his paddock so you could hear him and he could hear you.  He couldn't have asked for a more loving home and a more loving mom.  If you have a picture of him, I'd love to see it.  I don't have horses, but my sister does and I've always loved them.  They are incredible creatures. You said that you and JR fought for a long time with his illness and things seemed to get better and then you were shocked when things suddenly turned.  That's how it was with Ally.  She fought for an entire year and we kept winning each battle and I honestly thought she was going to be okay and wasn't even thinking that I was going to lose her.  We had no idea that she had lung cancer until 48 hours before she passed and, even then, we thought she might be a candidate for surgery.  When I woke the morning that she passed, I had no idea I would be making that horrible decision to let her go later that evening. I think all the time she and I spent together her last year going for ultrasounds and other tests made our bond even closer.  All the vets always commented on how strong and sweet she was and she never had to be sedated for a test.  She let them do what they needed to do.  She had a beautiful quiet strength. Thinking now of JR reminds me of taking Ally for her ultrasounds at the equestrian center.  It was a great clinic that not only performed ultrasounds and MRIs on dogs, but also horses.  One day when we were leaving and she had gone through the stress of the ultrasound and I was putting her in the car, they opened the big door where the horses went in and out and a beautiful mare came out and stood no more than 4 or 5 feet from Ally.  I had never had Ally around horses and I had just taken her harness and leash off to put her in the car and I thought she was going to bolt, but she just quietly sat there and looked up at the horse as if she were in awe.  She had no fear whatsoever.  Maybe she and JR have met at the Rainbow Bridge.

I think those ten days that JR had where he felt so much better was a blessing for both of you.  He didn't suffer for a long time as so many do and his last days were happy.  I'm glad you saw him in your dreams and you should take comfort in that and know that he is happy and free of pain and illness. 

I know how hard things are for you right now too and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Ally's Mom - Karen

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